Like Wow!

I actually managed to learn stuff today!

I memorised all of Boudicca’s Rebellion! And all (read: all but two paragraphs) or Caesar and the Druids!

…yeah i kinda didn’t get around to learning all my case studies for geography or the roman life. I hope the geography paper tomorrow looks like this: “Use the following pages to rant about the Solomon Islands. Be sure to discuss to what extent logging companies are greedy bitches” and i would be all “they are so amazingly greedy and bitchy that only 2% of the profit from logging goes back to the local people. The logging companies are totally breaking their contracts!”

(sorry i feel compelled to mention this blog is being done in darkness, my ears constantly alert to warn me if someone is bumbling my way, duvet ready to cover the laptop, Mission Impossible theme tune playing in my head…okay not that last one. But still. Blogging in the dark late at night definitely feels cooler than mid-afternoon blogging. If only i was blogging about something important! I mean, managing tourism and the environment is important, but i highly doubt  that Malaysian logging companies are going to send over some assassins to kick my ass. Clearly their assassins are busy trying to kill the leaders of the Isabella Project…

Now I’m just imagining what super powers “Ethically Sourced Wood Man!” would have if there was a superhero for that kind of thing…see the only thing i can think of is “he uses a chainsaw for discriminate logging, his powers of chainsaw-wielding are lessened when bulldozers are in the nearby vicinity”. However having crazy chainsaw skills doesn’t make you a superhero, it makes you a serial killer. Or like a lumberjack. Or a serial killer lumberjack. So err…maybe he has the power to make trees grow? Or put nutrients back in the soil? “GadzooksEthically Sourced Wood Man! The whole area has been bulldozed by those lousy brutes! This area will never recover!”, “Never fear my little sidekick- i will make this area green again!”. Now that is so totally a failed TV show in the making)

(i wonder if the sidekick has a name? This poor boy, cruelly orphaned when the logging company killed his parents for refusing to let them buy their land, having to fend for himself in the forest, learning to love the forest, becoming one with the forest…maybe Setiawan, an Indonesian boy’s name meaning “Faithful” (thank you internet) which is appropriate for a sidekick. (i had fun with name generators whilst finding that. Apparently if i was a sex machine i should call myself “Alicia Amante”, mormon “Alvira Arvalynne”, a poet “Penelope Albatross”, a vulcan “T’Sais”, a goth “Cryptic Slaughter” and finally as a zombie “Aaaeiaaagh “Bondage Ninja” Goooarargh!”. Far, far too much time on my hands).

*Please note* this is the part of the blog where the rap breaks down, it’s real intense, no one makes a sound i am going to ramble on about Star Trek. I’m telling you because it’s seriously boring, but if i don’t type it the you never know what might happen with the pent up nerdiness. I might do something awful like start writing yaoi fan fiction. Really poorly written fan fiction at that.

I am so awake. I was feeling so grumpy from having to actually work and commit things to memory i indulged in what is like the nerd equivalent of watching S&M porn: Patterns of Force, the episode of Star Trek where Kirk and Spock are shirtless and get whipped by Nazis . Ridiculous i know. And not nazis but aliens imitating the nazi regime because a historian decided that if a “benign” nazi regime was started the planet would benefit because the regime could pull them out of their economic slump and so on. This plan goes wrong obviously. But still an interesting idea. The writers of star trek want to “raise some issues” with their ideas like putting human brains into androids, how people need both the good and “evil” side of their personalities, severe consequences of culture clashes, the whole “Jack the Ripper is actually an alien entity who survives on fear” thing (…I’m joking: hopefully that isn’t a real theory. But still. that episode was hilarious), the episode “A Private Little War” was meant to be a commentary on Vietnam but it had to get toned down a little, man’s need for freedom (you can so tell it’s an american show)….however these kinda get overshadowed by things such as “huh…Spock is wandering around a nazi laboratory half-naked” or “…did Kirk really just ask “What’s your beef?” in a poor 1920’s gangster accent?”.  (now, does saying that make Kirk an innovator because Star Trek was made in the sixties, or does in make him old school because he’s in the future? I think he meant it to be old-school, but either way he ends up sounding like an absolute idiot)

Sorry: i am going to take a moment to hit my head repeatedly in the realisation that in my brain shirtless men take precedence over contemplation of serious issues. I can’t even pretend it’s history revision anymore.  Le sigh.

okay i totally just had an idea. Next time i talk about star trek i can warn you with this picture:

Spock pulls around the universe, from Omicron Ceti III to the Bay...

Spock pulls around the universe, from Omicron Ceti III to the Bay...


…I would be tempted to rewrite all the lyrics to U Can’t Touch This but who am I to mess with perfection?


Hell Yeah!

Have basically just finished doing my geography coursework. So now i am acting like a jackass and listening to Eric Clapton and wearing sunglasses even though this makes it difficult to type. Yays! 🙂

Update (around 5pm)–when i went to print out geography, actually realised i had fucked it all up and have spent some time having to tinker with it all because this FUCKING LAPTOP does not have the same word or excel as the computer with the printer. Plus my printer cuts off the page numbers. And everything basically sucks. And i spilt my tea all over my brothers desk and because his room has so much bloody shit in it the tea ruined an awful lot of stuff. It is just about okay now but i am definitely not wearing sunglasses and even if i went downstairs to find my geography teacher throwing a surprise party for me with “pin the rock type on the correct area of lulworth cove” and a tronking huge cake  i would STILL plunge a huge knife into his ridiculously small head.

(the non-angry part of me feels the need to point out that tronking is a mild swear word found in The Claidi Journal Series by Tanith Lee which i loved. I always want to use the word tronking in real life, but worried no one would get it.  See? Happy happy happy deep down inside. well, actually another tanith lee book The Castle of Darkalways made me so creeped out i could only ever get half way through. East of Midnight i also really loved, have just discovered it was published in 1977 which i find weird because whenever i read a book when i was younger i always presumed it was new, i never bothered to check the publishing data. Tanith Lee actually sounds really cool and i might go off and read some more of her books, because before i used to think she was just a children fantasy writer but actually she writes in many genres. Oh, also when i was younger i never used to be sure if Tanith was a mans name or a woman’s name and that seemed kinda cool. Tanith Lee is a great name. No one would buy anything written by me, i have a stupid name. I was going to suggest changing my last name to Lee…then realised i would be Livvi Lee. Or Olivia Lee. And that just makes me want to call myself Olivia Lee Rose which is just a switch around from being Rose Lee as in Gypsy Rose Lee and anyway if i changed my name to Rose my family would be constantly teasing me about the time when i was like 4 and decided to name my kitten “Rose of Beyond” which lets face it is a very stupid name. Anyway.)


Exams are over! I still have english orals, i don’t have a thing to talk about. I actually typed “controversial issues” into google. Speaking of google: Their shop is amazing. The sell silly putty AND goo. Plus all the clothes etc. are eco-friendly! Thanks you very much to Suga for this information.

It was a very tiring day of geographing. Yes, geographing. Aimlessly walking around, asking strangers questions, evaluation land use in the CBD (central business district to normal people), calling a geography teacher because we couldn’t read the damn map (it had no road names on it! it wasn’t even a real map! but never mind, we were in the right place anyway), then walking further away from the CBD to look at the houses. It was a bit odd, a group of girls getting saying things like “ooh! That house has three stories!” or “wow, get a picture of that house! not only is it semi-detached unlike the rest, it has a loft extension!!!”. Tomorrow i have to write all this up. It was nice to bump into my non-geographer friends (who have these days off. bastards) and to discover the amazing Pret a Manger meatball ragu wrap.

I came home and just collapsed on my bed. Was roused with the promise of a bacon-cheese sandwhich. We seem to be eating more of these randomly. It was a tiring weekend…what with the sheer awesomeness of Doctor Who! Things to squeal about:

  1. The Doctor was dead! Dead! Though it was somehow reassuring to know that without the Doctor the world just failed majorly. Though having to explain the back stories to my brothers (who don’t usually watch Doctor Who) was a bit weird, the plots sound so ridiculous (well i was just awful at explaining them)
  2. Rose! ROSE ROSE ROSE! Though unfortunately i never watched the first season with Christopher Eccleston so i had to have some people explain to me the Bad Wolf plot line. She said He had great hair! *Hug*
  3. Donna killing herself. You are special Donna Noble! Plus that scarab beetle thing was über creepy
  4. When her neighbours got sent off to die but were still trying to be all smiley and Donna just didn’t get it…that was so sad. Lots of deaths this episode including..
  5. Ianto. I don’t actually watch torchwood, but i do get subjected to Hannah squealing “i looooove ianto!” every time it gets talked about. So i was sorry he died.

Speaking of Doctor Who, my new compost bin is Dalek shaped. All i would need to do is stick an egg beater and a plunger on it for arms and it could be a dalek. Fun.

What isn’t fun is geography write ups. I spent the day messing around on google maps. The roads in Australia go nowhere! Nowhere! And still not having an english oral topic. I’m trying so hard to care, i think i may do it on lowering the voting age, but i’m listening to the Proclaimers. Writing a really awful speech…or jumping up and down singing 500 miles?

Tough choice.

Study Leave

So its Wednesday. My one day this week free from exams. I meant to revise way earlier as i still have a lot  to learn. However, i am in here typing and not even having an enjoyable time because i don’t want to go into the room where i put down my revision materials because i got freaked out by the garage door swinging open randomly and so am now just wasting my time. I hate the garage. For the past eight years i have been convinced someone lives in there. Just some random guy, who is obviously out to ‘get me’, who lives behind the ping pong table(so you wouldn’t be able to see him when you entered). I know this isn’t true, but i still try and convince him he can come out or just help himself to the food in the fridge anytime he likes. I know that has to be the worst excuse for not revising ever, but i am still going to blame any failures on him.

So instead of revising i am watching greys anatomy, very quietly so as not to wake my brother. He has been asleep since our grandparents left to fly home to Sacramento at 9am. If he wasn’t here i would be watching Casablanca, i’ve watched that film a gazillion times yet i did not remember the name of Ingrid Bergman’s character (its Ilsa, my video box said it was Lisa). I was thinking of Casablanca when we all went out to dinner as a goodbye to my grandparents. Foolishly, we went to an Italian restaurant on the night Italy was playing the Netherlands. And got totally thrashed by the Netherlands. Fortunately our waiter was Portuguese and called me beautiful. I love it when waiters do that, i am so not looking forward to going to restaurants and being called madam or whatever.  

Other things I have done instead of revised:

  1. Made endless cups of tea
  2. Read through, and laughed at, all the pages on the graphjam blog
  3. Laughed at lol cats on I Can Has Cheezeburger blog
  4. Made a wish list of things i want from
  5. Admired the way i look in my Rufus Wainwright t-shirt
  6. Thought about eating the pasta i made my brother which he hasn’t eaten. It is just there on the coffee table. Waiting for someone to eat it. Maybe that person is me.
  7. Opened my geography folder to revise, got into a panic about the population density of Canada
  8. Contemplated writing down a complicated theory about the cost of running away to various places if you consider various conditions:
  • The person you run away with only came with you to escape previous country of occupancy and ditches you when you are sleeping (subtract money they steal from you, add money saved by not having to pay for them)
  • If above happens, we must consider the ‘Rick’ factor (so named after Rick from Casablanca) which is your likelihood of running away to yet another country (subtract money spent on train, subtract money spent on drink) and opening a successful bar (subtract money for white tuxedo, subtract money for running and owning bar) where you meet a Captain Reno (add money for winning bets against him, subtract money for rigging your roulette tables so he wins, subtract money for having to close your bar under his orders)
  • If your partner does not run away, we must take into consideration your reasons for running away: you are coming to help the people there (subtract most of your money, yet keep the absolute minimum for survival), you are to find treasure (subtract money for airplane, “exotic” transportation like camels/elephants, camouflage gear etc, add money for eventual treasure found or selling your story), you are there for adventure (subtract money for being robbed and beaten by bandits sucker)
  •  Basically if you apply the various factors to the money in your bank account and still end up with a positive amount then feel free to run away there

To conclude: Never try to think in the early hours of the morning, it is okay not to revise in order to laugh at graphs about The Princess Bride.

Alice Cooper and S Club 7

This day has no special signifigance except that it is the tenth anniversairy of Frank Sinatra’s death. I feel kind of guilty not listening to Frank on this day but rocking out(well, attempting to rock out) to Poison by Alice Cooper. He is somehow attractive in that video. I think i might be getting jealous that he feels comfortable wearing leather. Ever since i can remember, i’ve wanted to wear loads of leather. Not necessarily in a punk way, it started off with my cousin Dave and his long leather jacket. Then Elizabeth Hurley wearing that leather catsuit in Austin Powers. Then all the people who look awesome in leather in movies. Denzel Washington (Much Ado about Nothing ), Johnny Depp (Sleepy Hollow), Antonio Banderas(um…Zorro? I’ve seen him in leather somewhere) and lots of punk girls. This need has only increased with time but its becoming more and more impossible due to the way i look so…non leather. I mean, Alice Cooper loves golf which is anti-leather but still wears it. This is so unfair but then again….

I was listening to less leatherness. Hits by S Club 7, Madonna, Tiffany, Blink 182, Blur, Pulp, Dusty Springfield and stuff. Note: It is hard to rock on when your parents are in the room watching the Apprentice and you can here Alan Sugar getting all stressy. I was “rocking” because i got an A* for my geography which i was going crazy about about.

Actual Geography lesson was getting me all stressed out because we were learning about Shanty Towns. Okay, the Favelas in Rio de Janeiro and the slums in Mumbai but shanty is too fun a word. Say it in a funny northenish accent and do a little jig. Its awesome. Shanty shanty shanty.

Im feeling much better for some reason. I think it is being home and not having to do work until the weekend. I mean i have a essay to write on odes with my english teacher father but hey. My brother is being forced to make tea whilst i am chanelling the awesomness of Poison! I don’t work in Chemistry or maths! I spent English (i love it but we were in a computer room) researching the biggest jewel heist in American history! I successfully sympathised (i hope) with most of my friends! This morning i listened to most of Rumours with my mother in the car! I think my hair looks nice! My shoulders aren’t aching so much! I might not fail my GCSEs! I read through a facebook thread on a latin group about ablative absolutes and understood it! Hopefully this mood will last through french tomorrow. I am Olivia Payne and i can do this! (I find my own name very reassuring. look at me! i have a name! Muhahaha!)

Think Positive!

I have had a lot of thoughts today. I know that doesn’t quite make sense, but my grammar is all mucked up after latin (e.g “i am having been lost that sheet on deponent verbs. god, do not get me started on deponent verbs). I have also been trying to think positive. I am trying to love summer. You get to listen to trippy music and wear a bandanna (what my parents opinion on this look: you look like a californian student who wants to work on a shared farm in Israel). Right now though i am in my pyjamas(stripey bottoms, beatles t-shirt with the faces half gone), listening to New Slang by the Shins on repeat (I’m not generally a Shins fan, but this song so goes) and…being slightly concerned by my use of brackets. I noticed this whilst doing my geography (about urban zones as defined by the Burgess Model. i know what that means!) and became rather worried as i began doing it to my own thoughts.

Livvi: Ooh, would you look at that i am using so many brackets (hopefully it still makes sense)

The second Livvi: No! It’s awful! You shouldn’t have wasted all that lesson time listening to *name blanked out for my dignity* (although that was fun)

Maybe i am just being stupid. Maybe you can’t use brackets inside your mind. But they feel like …bracket thoughts. Am i making sense? I haven’t been feeling like i make much sense recently.

Feelings Livvi has recently felt:

  1. The satisfaction of starting a new list- lists are awesome, you can order shopping, reasons not to do work and hot guys (as a birthday present for a friend, me and Jess annotated a copy of the Da Vinci code. it included lots of lists…usually about which of the characters we wanted to sleep with)
  2. Aaaah-the-work-is-crushing-me feeling! I hate this feeling. Especially as my shoulders actually ache from hunching over work. I have been avoiding work. Right now i am avoiding geography. Why can’t it just go away?
  3. That-paranoid-maybe-i-am-insane feeling. I have this one a lot. I am not insane. This is know. I wish i was insane because that would be an excuse for all the stupid things i think.

Livvi: mmm…he smells of freshly washed and ironed shirts

Randomer: That is so totally wrong dude!

Livvi: Oh its cool, im insane

Randomer: Oh awesome-maybe i should write a book about knowing you

see? everyone is much happier in this scenario  than the one where i say the opening statement and a friend whacks me round the head.

4. Can’t-everyone-just-shut-up? feeling. Everyone in my house is kind of stressy due to lack of internet (i’m writing this on my  mums bright pink shiny laptop) and me and both my brothers have important exams (GCSEs and university…stuff) and my usually bright pink shiny(well, not pink) pets are all ill and my cat especially is in the jaws of death. Ish. She might actually be getting better but still. She never did like to cheer humans up

5. I don’t knowness! I feel unable to answer questions or anything. This is probably why i am avoiding geography work, i am so freaked about getting it wrong. i freak about getting things wrong so much i never actually do anything which is so much worse

Trying to think positively has evidently failed. I am still happy, just…in a very negative way

Tests, Work and Fifty Cent

The last two days i have been like “OMG I HAVEN’T REVISED” for my geography test(which i got 72% so its okay) and maths. I know i must have failed the maths test though. How do histograms work? I absolutely have no idea what was on that paper. Easter weekend should not be revision time! I spent reading-finally finished that 800+ page book. It was worth it. Have now started on 600+ page book and am making steady progress. In between reading there was numerous cups of tea, ironing whilst repeatedly listening to AYO Technology by 50 cent and randomness by Avril Lavigne(note: not my music, it was on my brother’s ipod) and doing far too much research about palm oil. I will not go on about palm oil but just one thing: As a result of the whole palm oil business, by 2022 98% of Malaysian and Indonesian rainforest will have been destroyed. It is distressing.

But i am generally in a far better mood than i was last week. Bouncing around, eating Easter eggs and lots of soup. I only got annoyed when i discovered Gruff Rhys have cut off the bulk of his Welsh Fro! His bouncing, beautiful, thick curly hair! Why Gruff why? Especially as i might be forking out an awful lot of cash to go to the Green Man Festival, mainly to see Super Furry Animals.

I realised i haven’t been on a huge book binge like that in ages. I really should read more, but instead i choose to daydream. Daydreaming has to be done to a soundtrack though, generally i rely on my radio. This means everything gets mucked around because different genres are played so the atmosphere in my head changes, then i might change station or get bored of the song and then everything turns into some jerky, disorganised puppet show. Then you have to start over again until the story goes the way you want it to. This is because daydreaming in my head is rather like a sitcom. For a start, it focuses on a secret romance. It has had numerous people getting into accidents, they may either break or leg or even go into a coma and so on, i wouldn’t be surprised if i suddenly found the characters in the middle of a dance off. I’m sure I could work it into the plot somehow. But this all prevents me from reading, reading sparks off more daydreams. But I will try to read some more tonight, no more tests for a long time i hope. Oh god i just remembered i have a french test next week. Je deteste tests de français.