Things

Sorry, I made it seem like I might update regularly then didn’t. Here is a run-down of stuff:

I did nothing for Bonfire Night. I did end up reading Hemingway’s The Old Man and the Sea but that doesn’t relate to fireworks at all. I am disappointed in you Hemingway. Hopefully your other works will turn out to be more fireworks and less fish. (if you want to know I quite liked it but I don’t understand why people rave about it so much.  However, this could be because I was reading it at 3am and just wanted to sleep)

Speaking of books: I finished reading Crevel’s My Body and I (my copy is very square. It doesn’t look right amongst my other books). I like Crevel, he seems less annoying than the other surrealists (I am looking at you Breton). I have also started reading (well. I’m around 3/4 through now because it is wonderful) Jonathan Safran Foer’s Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close for my school’s book club. I think I prefer Everything is Illuminated but this novel still overwhelms me at times and makes me act all awkward and makes me want to cry.

I went with m father to see an amateur production of the first part of Kushner’s Angels in America. It started off shakily but everyone soon warmed up and some scenes were done exceptionally well so we were pleasantly surprised by the whole thing. I watched some of the HBO production (which I was too young to watch first time around) and that is amazing (Al Pacino is perfect) but I think I preferred seeing it at the Lyric when I was about 14 (now my dad knows more about the play he thinks that taking me so young was probably a mistake). On stage it seems more surreal, whereas on film the hallucinations etc. seem less surreal and more OTT.

Yesterday Imogen and I went to see Harry Potter! I think this is probably my favourite of the films. I, along with everyone else, was crying at Dobby’s death (surely I don’t need to mark spoilers for anything Harry Potter related?). Our school had a mufti day and quite a few people were dressed with a Potter theme. Imogen also drew me on a scar and some glasses- which I wasn’t able to wash off before going to the gym .

School has been a bit of a drag recently. Everyone is stressing out (UCAS! retakes! life!) and feeling down. I felt very relieved when I received two university offers but I am now feeling worse because obviously I am going to fail my retakes and my final exams so I can’t go to university and if I don’t go to university I will obviously end up living a horrible life filled with disappointments. My lessons all seem extremely boring- which is fair enough when we are studying things like how to build ancient greek temples, but not so much when we are looking at the Rape of the Lock which I actually like. I have joined our Amnesty International Club which is always good fun- whether or not we stay on topic which we generally do not do. Last session hardly anyone turned up so it turned into a “lets share gossip and bitch about people” club, and the week before that it went like: lets talk about a serious issue–we all agree this is wrong—Hannah! explain the economy!–lets talk about american politics—hah, Christine O’Donnell doesn’t believe in masturbation (…this sidetrack may have been my fault)—omigod twilight sucks. So yeah. Pretty fun. Plus none of my main friendship group are actively attending (Jess has shown up twice without meaning to and Imogen once) so I get to catch up with Hannah (who is no longer in my philosophy class) and Isabel (who used to be in my form) and Taif (who owns a leopard print hat. Yes, this is all I am going to say about Taif because otherwise I would have to go into the long list of reasons why she is awesome). I also attend choir (at my father’s request) which is…less fun…but still okay. And there is always the Thursday Period 4 Rave-Up to look forward to (which isn’t a rave, but there are generally  cheese savouries  and popcorn so really who cares?).

So I guess I shouldn’t be complaining about how things suck but ah well.

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Daunting Task!

I haven’t updated in over a month. I am scared to start writing again (because I’m lazy. not because I have anything scary to write). Lots of wonderful things have happened!

  • Greece! I went on a school trip to Greece and saw pretty much everything…unfortunately it is a little fuzzy in my head (school trips never feel real when you get back). It was an odd week getting stuck on top of the Acropolis during a mad thunderstorm, racing at Olympia, running around museums at night taking guerilla photographs (you aren’t allowed to pose with the statues so to get a cool photo you have to get creative), going to the Oracle at Delphi (so awesome up in the mountains), adventuring beneath the city of Mycenae, singing “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” at Epidaurus and nearly killing Zoe (we shared a room. that is reason enough). I know that there is a lot to question in this paragraph but if you are reading this you were either on the trip or I have babbled at you about it. Or if you don’t fit into those categories you can just string it all together how you want (you should add in some lasers. The trip needed some more lasers)
  • Tookey and I saw Jonathan Coulton. I’m not sure how I can edit that sentence to show you my excitement. I SAW JONATHAN COULTON!   You know how it is- he is my favourite singer and I love him to pieces and it was the most awesome evening ever. (…it has been like three weeks and I am still hyper). I was also properly introduced to the music of Paul and Storm who were wonderfully funny and as soon as they finished their set me and Tookey looked at each other and started arguing about who was going to get up and buy their CDs (I went in the end). Aaarh and Jonathan was amazing and funny and he played some songs I didn’t know all that well (as well as cover versions of Birdhouse in your Soul by TMBG and Up the Junction by Squeeze- which made me excited) (oh! you can see the set list for the gig here! how cool is that?) and I didn’t mind that he rickrolled us during Mr Fancy Pants. Afterwards he stayed behind and so I got to meet him and I totally didn’t act like a creepy fangirl or anything (go me!):
 
 

a photo my dad thinks is creepy

This photo makes me so ridiculously happy

And I also met Paul and Storm (they were really excited about Tookey’s name. They were even more excited when she said they could call her “Tookles”):  

My dad probably finds this one creepier

Hell yeah Paul is wearing a Captain Hammer shirt!

And speaking of Captain Hammer: whilst waiting in line for these photos I was singing songs from Doctor Horrible’s Sing Along Blog with the guys behind me (one of them was being Moist in their university’s production! I hope it went well!). Tookey gave me a look for singing with strangers. But everyone there was just so nice! The atmosphere was fantastic! Hanging around with fellow nerds who wave macbooks instead of lighters (I also saw a companion cube when Jonathan sang “Still Alive”) and joining in whole-heartedly whether we were pretending to be pirates or zombies (I recently listened to the latter in french. I am just waiting for someone to write a musical of the french revolution with zombies so this song can get the recognition it deserves) (…it would work! We just need to get Kate Beaton onto this!)

ANYWAY. I’m sorry. That was a lot of rambling about JoCo. I also…went to my schools christmas fair…yay…(ooh actually that is a yay! they sold glittery rice krispy square things!) and got swine flu! I also became vaguely addicted to twitter (not updating it- just seeing what everyone else is doing) and MLIA.Hopefully interesting things will happen in the future: I might be going to see New Moon with Imogen (it depends if we can find some wizard robes and hufflepuff scarves in time. We aren’t going there to swoon over werewolf abs!) and I need to catch up on all the gossip and fling myself into trying to become philosopher of the week (never going to happen but I have my Aristotle bookmark to keep me company). Oh- I also read ‘One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest’ which I thought was pretty awesome (I kinda love Harding despite everything. It is because Kesey always goes on about how lovely his hands are!) but now I am reading ‘The Graveyard Book’ so I can understand why the internet seems to have a massive crush on him (looking through his website I can kinda understand- he seems adorable) (though he would be more adorable if he had a giant squirrel tail).

OH: I just remembered! Doctor Who! It has been so long since I have needed to say anything about it. I went over to Hannah’s house to watch it and meet all her shiny new friends (who were lovely and insane and one of the girls was wearing Hammer Pants) which was fun. It was a really depressing episode (with random bits which weren’t meant to be funny. Like slow-motion ceiling watching and the whole “LOOK AN OOOOOOOOD!” moment) and I cannot wait until the Christmas special. The Master is coming back! (…though why is he blonde? Do all evil villains go through a blonde phase?)

Attack of the overly Long Blog Posts! Showing Now!

Lots has been happening this week! Which might take a while to recount because i could get sidetracked because this blog is being powered by lots and lots of strawberry fruitellas (which is apparently the british starburst? who cares. thanks to the friendly cashier dude i bought a 4 pack and need more more more). Anyway, transport your mind back to last Sunday because that is when i had my birthday party. Which I didn’t really have a plan for because it would be too expensive to have like a real party (movie tickets! what is wrong with you Odeon!?!) andit is kinda hard to find one thing we all want to do. So we just rolled with it. The result was me, Hannah, Jess, Divya, Imogen, Zoe, Fia, Tookey and Suga crammed into my garage trying to play ping-pong with 3 bats, books, a spade (Imogen. why do i think she is sane?) and a biscuit tin lid (Divya was actually pretty skilled with that).

Why do I let these people into my house?

Why do I let these people into my house?

 

Wait, why am I allowed out of my house?

Wait, why am I allowed out of my house?

Then we ate fooooood (traditionally at my house we have to eat smiley faces and sausage rolls. and drink rootbeer. I think i managed to convert the Tookster and Suga to the Rootbeer cause) (oh- Tookey’s parents told her not to get drunk at my house with all us year 11s. I feel like i live in some badass house of sin or something) (not like rootbeer is alcoholic. just so so good). We also did the trek to blockbusters (also traditionally) and spent forever trying to rent movies we all liked (yeah the arguing at this point is also traditional. I mean, tackling Tookey wasn’t really necessary but it was very fun). We ended up watching Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist…we rented some other movies which we didn’t watch (oh well….it left time for us to watch The Princess Bride. Which was my plan all along muhahahahaha). Talking late into the night about randomness which was interesting because Tookey has not been subject to sleepover interrogation before. Or Imogen-Interrogation in the form of tennis ball truths etc. Terrifying but the Tookster handled it well. I also revealed that i have a fetish for purple men dressed as oxen who want to plough me (…i could explain this. but do you really want me to?) (note for your mental images: there is headbutting involved) (note to my mother, who has recently discovered facebook and may become good at internet-stalking in the future: it was a joke. A weird game of make believe) (shifting the attention off of myself…surely the best quote of the evening must have been zoe saying “hey! my spit looks like africa!”)

Oh present wise…Zoe gave me a book about Charles Manson (thanks for that), Jess gave me a book about a serial killer and the DVD of The Prince and Me 2 (…weirdest gift combo ever?) (oh she also gave me an awesome card. With a drawing of Rufus Wainwright on it. Wearing lederhosen. Tennis lederhosen) and Hannah gave me a book about some crazy dude (hey is there like a theme here?) (no the book looks really good.  It is called Cockroach by Rawi Hage). Suga gave me money (she didn’t get me a book because she thinks i am “so well read” and she also wrote in her card that she hopes i “don’t get something that convinces you that i am an assassin”. Suga is so adorable. She even called my room magical ♥) (Divya complained that my room had porn in it. It is a Toulouse-Lautrec painting! A painting of a hooker yes, but not a saucy one). Fia gave me a DVD of Labyrinth (squeee!) (oh, fia gets confused when i use non-words (like blerg. or flaaaargn. or smehneh etc.), so to translate: i was excited) and Divya gave me a DVD of Mona Lise Smile which I have never seen. Tookey gave me 2 Books: Gulliver’s Travels and the Prisoner of Zenda (my dad got excited because he has always wanted to read it because he has a nostalgic thing about the 1937 film and is always outraged that this version is never shown on TV) and Jeff Buckley’s CD Grace. I haven’t listened to it yet because….

I have been too busy listening to DFTBA Records: Volume One! A present from Imogen so awesome it comes from overseas, the envelope was decorated with stars and it gets it’s own little paragraph because I love it so much. I have been listening to it constantly. Favourites: “The Anglerfish Song” by Hank Green because it has to be the catchiest song ever, “Can’t” by Alan Lastufka 6 and Tom Milsom because i love the use of the inkjet printer noise for percussion and the tune makes me want to the macarena robot style, “Exterminate, Regenerate” by Chameleon Circuit which i have already given much love to, “In the Absence of Christmas” by Charlie McDonnell because it crazy original and yes, a little sad but in a good way (oh hey- did anyone get that Charlie was the inspiration for the whole “purple-oxen-men” comment? so yes: i am sorry Charlie that that is what happens to you in my head. So sorry), “Porphyrophobia” by Tom Milsom (damn this list is long), “The Nonsense Song” by Michael Aranda gets on my favourites probably because i just love the idea of a magic grilled cheese sandwich and finally “I Pity the Fu” by Molly Lewis because it is a song about Mr T. Accompanied by the ukulele. With some kick-ass lyrics. (plus Molly Lewis is a Coulton fan so of course she is going to be awesome and write songs with crazy lyrics)

Aaarh so anyway that was fun. But then work experience had to begin sometime so i have been kicking it old-school shall we say with the Museum of London Early History Department. Hell yeah. I got to label pieces of prehistoric flint baby. And an assortment of random artifacts (you can see my labelling skills if you ever go and like handle the the broken pots and animal bones. Or flint from box 3, flints from number 189-284) (yes i did label 95 rocks. And yeah that involves coating them in nail varnish. And yes i did end up spilling ink all over the carpet on my first day but who cares because i can pretend i am an awesome archaeologist lady). What was actually cool was going into the basement and going through drawers of Medieval ironwork because the senior curator who specialises in Medieval stuff is retiring (he knows so much it was so scary, but he is really nice) and so the other curators are trying to “download his brain” before he leaves. Drawers and drawers of badges, rings, brooches, stuff-which-is-linked-to-Thomas-Beckett (the dude clearly got around…his…blacksmiths?) and horse-stuff (spurs: have more potential for innuendo than i would have thought) and lots of keys (they also are also apparently overflowing with spoons. Kinda like my spoon drawer. Spoons are evil dammit).

Oh you know what else i did? I investigated a pottery fragment and for one afternoon became an expert in pottery marks and dived into the mysterious world of heraldry. Oh my god why on earth do people write books about pottery? Are these people actually alive? Now Heraldry. It is just insane. These people are insane. All the crazy terminology and symbolism and rules! It could be fascinating if it wasn’t so damn scary. I mean you could fill a book, in fact there are probably too many books, about the rules about Coats of Arms for illegitimate children. And what happens to the Coat of Arms if, like with John of Gaunt’s and Katherine Swynford’s children, they become legitimate. Aaarh.

It is also my job to design an activity sheet for small children about the River Thames. Throughout the fucking ages. So i had to go through all the galleries and write down anything about the Thames (easier than i thought until i hit 1558-1666. Our paths cross again Mr Cromwell. But this, i have the advantage. Because i have a clipboard andyou are behind a display case. Suck on that bitch). Okay, i actually had some fun coming up with questions and trying to be “fun”. (i did entertain a fantasy that it was future me, who owns a time machine, who threw all this stuff into the Thames, just so i had more questions to ask. I mean, stealing viking swords and carving curses into tablets in latin would be awesome). So if you like to feel smart by doing easy quizzes, come to the Museum on August 1st or 2nd and pick up a sheet.

The Museum is nice, i get tea and high-quality biscuits and everyone is lovely to me. Plus i get like a badge to beep myself in and out of security doors. It feels kinda cool (it would be cooler if the staff entrance to the office section wasn’t next to the toilets).

In other news: Tookey lent me season 1 of 30 Rock and I am enjoying it, i have been wearing lots of skirts this week and i think i like it, i only got1/5 when Charlie presented Truth and Fail so i should have to upload a video of me doing the macarena backwards (the question i got right is the one about William Shakespeare’s will because i always remember how everyone makes a point of saying “second best bed”), tomorrow is Hannah’s birthday party so hopefully that should be fun and this is also the only time i see Hannah’s outside school friends Ella and Scarlett (which is a shame because they are both so nice and they are probably more up to date on Ellen-in-jokes than Ellen is) (unfortunately Ellen couldn’t make it to my party because she was seeing Lang-Lang in concert).

IN MAJORLY IMPORTANT NEWS Jess has swine flu. So warm fuzzies for Jess, even if she might not appreciate them because having swine flu makes her grumpy. But still she may finally update her blog (oh she actually did the early hours of yesterday! go Jess!) so you should check it out (link the sidebar!) if you want to wish her well/angry ladies turn you on.

(oh God in a post around the same length as some of my english essays i actually missed stuff out. Notably: i finally finished The Portrait of a Lady after an embarresingly long time. I was not entirely happy with the ending. Then read all of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows one night because Imogen challenged me and i am sick of being shown up in front of other nerds. I did like it, more than Half-Blood Prince I think, but yeah…I agree the epilogue sucks majorly.  Not sure what I am going to read next. But it is likely it will feature creepy people).

Our Love is like an open-faced sandwich table.

I have decided that Mahler just might like ice cream. He definitely needs ice cream. The concert on Saturday was amazing as usual- particularly the second movement of the Shostakovitch piano concerto no. 2 and the end of Mahler’s first symphony. Though that is one long symphony and i kept thinking it was going to end…and then kept getting distracted by the women next to me itching (she was itching like crazy!) and checking her phone (which was not meant to be on! i should report you to like…Royal Festival Hall police! if they existed). The guy who played the piano concerto, Martin Helmchen, is apparently an up and coming star who has been receiving rave reviews and you could totally see/hear why. He played this complicated piece (at least- complicated to me. but i have since been assured by people who know things about music it is difficult) amazingly well and hes only like 25 (my mum kept on going “aaaw would you look at him! he’s so fragile and delicate!”).  Vladimir Jurowksi was his usual, awesome self (i am slightly worried that if i go to a concert and he is not conducting it i will just freak out).

That was around it for this weekend. I am obviously just not qualified to talk about classical music. I mean, i came home and then had a long discussion about hair metal with Fia (we now have a joke that she is covering up an obsession with Joe Jonas and i am madly in love with Bret Michaels, lead singer of Poison). I also came home to a dinner of potato smiley faces and cocktail sausages which was pretty awesome. Other than that i have been revising (biology mock tomorrow!) and trying to read Pale Fire by Nabokov because…because i was bored and it was on the bookshelf. (don’t get me wrong- some revision wasn’t boring. For instance- our double circulatory system= epic win. I love learning about the heart- it all seems so ridiculously efficient and…the word that comes to mind is edible for some reason…).

I was going to read The Golden Notebook which i bought ages ago, but then i read preface and just decided i might just not because i found Doris Lessing to be absolutely insufferable. I mean, it was very clear that she is exceptionally intelligent and a good writer but i kinda hate her so i stopped (which is actually something she herself advises…however she also says to remember that books you dislike now you might love in the future…). Its probably a bad idea to judge to book on the preface. I might try reading it after exams- which is this magical period of time where anything and everything is possible.

 I just got the feeling Doris Lessing won’t get on very well with the people in my head (yes, i know how weird that sounds but anything which i read/watch/hear is then discussed by the head-people and i guess which stance they would take on the thing in question. though right now they are trying to remember if there is a word which comes between “like” and “love” because this has been bothering me. So they have decided that in that awkward phase when “like” is too weak a word but they’re worried that saying “love” would just be a bit weird they will say “i smorgasbord you”. because its a fun word indeed, that stage of a relationship is like an open-faced sandwich table. And you have been sitting at this table for a while, decorating it, getting used to it, becoming comfortable. You have eaten like, quite a full portion of the table, but there are still many new experiences to be…eaten…new flavours and aromas on this glorious table which contains both the bad sandwiches and the good (and you are getting better at telling the difference between the two)! However you are still unsure if you are ready to commit to this particular open-faced sandwich table in the long term.)

(okay…i have no idea what i was talking about then. i think i was meant to be talking about books…but i could probably just extend that metaphor for a few more paragraphs…)

“Please, please cure me…”

I am currently on Princess Bride Time-out. I am taking the time to mentally prepare myself after being warned that the wrong people will die. So i am dealing with this extreme pain by dancing to Aqua songs whilst wearing a hat. After all, when we are in pain do we not all wish for Dr Jones to come save us? Or that we were Barbie Girls? Or…yeah their other songs are rubbish. But the video for My Oh My has pirates in it. So yes. It relates to The Princess Bride. I don’t think I’ve mentioned this (okay- i must have done. actually, i mentioned it recently) but i love The Princess Bride. The film that is. I used to have a major thing for The Man in Black (i still kinda do. hes awesome) and i can mouth along to the words. Now i am reading the book.

AND OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS BOOK. Okay- it is trash. It is an adventure story. I feel ashamed to admit to reading it whilst Jess is reading Voltaire and Hannah is reading The Grapes of Wrath. But hey- that’s just because i have majorly weird and intelligent friends. It doesn’t stop this book from being amazing. Even more so than the film (its kind of annoying to read the book when i know the film so well because sometimes the film has stolen lines from the scenes they haven’t cut and used them in a totally different context. And apparently Westley’s eyes are like the sea before a storm, not after. i don’t really know the difference, but it sure as hell changes things!) . I am incredibly involved with this book- hence the time out. I don’t want them to die! Because it might be Inigo or Fezzik! I now know their back stories! And they’re really sad. The book is also very funny by the way, and Goldman uses brackets a lot (gosh, i don’t know who that reminds me of at all) and includes witty comments in them (its me! it reminds me of me!).

Also! Robin Wright! Played Buttercup! Is now Robin Wright PENN! Yes! I have always disliked Buttercup (only in the film- book Buttercup i adore)  and now i find out she is married to Sean freakin’ Penn(“Doctor what can i do? Why does it have to be like that?”. Doctor Penn isn’t as catchy as Doctor Jones- but it makes imaginary me very happy)! MY Sean Penn! though it would be awesome if he ! Just when i get over my two-day infatuation this comes along and reminds me of all the injustices dealt to me by fate involving my relationship with Sean Penn (okay if that sentence doesn’t make sense then just remember that so great is my passion that i have forgotten how the english language works)! Then I defy you stars!

Sweet, Sugary Guilt

My chemistry teacher gave me a bottle of maple syrup. I am not entirely sure if i have ever mentioned this….but i freakin’ love maple syrup. So so much. And he had some on his desk, which he had bought in for his form to put on pancakes but no one used it because they preferred the Nutella (the losers), and i kinda asked if he what he was going to do with and he said i could have it. My chemistry teacher. Who i have described on this very blog as a “prancing Abercrombie and Fitch clad doll”. And just have been mean to. And who i ignore and probably have been awful to teach. And he is always so nice to me. And now he has given me maple syrup. I feel guilty. So i am going to have to make him some brownie. But that still may be weird because he is like the official hot young male teacher.

Now, my friends know that i have weird taste in men. People who i don’t really know that well probably also know that. But my chemistry teacher doesn’t. Most of the people in my chemistry class wouldn’t know. I mean, who in their right mind would choose….oh god i am trying to think of someone i like who isn’t dead or fictional….let us say John Green who is a self proclaimed nerd and has very puffy hair and would most likely be considered  average looking by most people (he is though amazingly adorable and smart and funny! and can eat 5 sheets of toiler paper whilst discussing the political situation in nepal!)….over my chemistry teacher. (I would so choose John just so that is clear) So giving him cake might be weird. Yelling at everyone “i am only giving him cake because he gave me maple syrup” may not help matters.

But none of that really matters because today it was snowing!It was first day back at school (though i was at the orthodontist during english and physics) and the snow made that seem okay. That and meeting up with my friends after not seeing them for like 2 weeks. Imogen gave us some hogmany cupcakes and there was much excited updating. Tomorrow will probably be worse. I am going to have to work. And explain to my maths teacher how i just never did this work. And do history homework i should probably be doing now instead of blogging. Oh well.

I read Memories of My Melancholy Whores today. Which was odd and slightly disturbing. In every Marquez book i have read- there is always some man having sex with a much younger girl. I mean…that basically is the whole point of Of Love and Other Demons. It was a very creepy part of One Hundred Years of Solitude. I could go on. However, there were some things he said which i could relate to about daydreaming. He wants to have sex with a virgin on his 90th birthday and he is sent to the girls room yet she is sleeping. He falls in love with the sleeping girl- he never wakes her. He just visits her again and again letting her sleep. During the day he imagines what she is like and gives he gives her a name and when he returns he remarks that “seeing and touching her in the flesh, she seemed less real to me than in my memory” and in fact says he he prefers her asleep. Which is something i totally understand.  But i am very very tired now. i will update you later on brownie making situation.

Starting 2009

Welcome to the Year of Natural Fibres.  Bring in the Year of Reconciliation. Welcome the Year of Astronomy. um…Moo with the Year of the Ox. It is 2009. Now, it is only a couple of hours in to this year but so far it is good. I finished Paper Towns which was simply amazing. (*Spoilers*). I liked how Q doesn’t end up with Margo- that felt right. How Q realises all these things about Margo, even when it turns out she didn’t mean him to, is amazing. I have just made a New Years resolution to read Leaves of Grass. It has good balance between the wacky road-trip side, the driving through the streets at night getting revenge side and the moments when Q can fully emphasise and finally know Margo. What he says at the end, about humans being vessels which get cracked and fall apart and it is then “we can see one another, because we see out of ourselves through the cracks and into others through theirs” (i am just summing up here, it is oviously a lot better in full and when you are totally involved in the characters), was just beautiful. I actually thought he might have been quoting someone because it just seemed like…well it seemed like something John Green would do and just because it is meant to be a timeless moment.

Time…wikipedia already has a plan of stuff which is schedueled to happen in 2009. Stuff already has happened. Congratulations to Norway- today same-sex marriages become legal! Hungary now recognises registered partnerships! And yeah, Slovakia now has the Euro for legal tender (i love typing legal tender. it makes me thing of steak. just some big, juicy steak….which i imagine being illegal. thats just the way it works. this steak is illegal. and so so good). As of yet: there are no deaths registered on wikipedia in 2009. Which is always nice. If i wasn’t in a good mood, i might find it depressing, to have this year schedueled. But i know that randomness is going to happen. Bad randomness and good randomness and randomness which won’t get on to wikipedia….i like the randomness. Randomly: we had indian takeout for new years dinner. I drank tea to celebrate the new year. Today i fell in love with Walt Whitman’s writing, New Years Eve i fell in love with the character Peter Carter (played by Dave Nivens) whilst watching A Matter of Life and Death. That was a good film. Plus it had Roger Livesey in who was awesome as Colonel Blimp in a film by the same producer people.

Huh…Vilnius (the capital of Lithuania) is taking over Liverpool as the European Capital of Culture. As is Linz in Austria…i had no idea there was more than one Capital of Culture last year. My sincerest apologies to Stavanger and Sandnes.

Have a great 2009. Enjoy your natural fibres.

Early Morning Ranting

I know it is like quarter-past 2 in the morning or whatever but i feel oddly compelled to talk about dust jackets. I just happened to be reading Paper Towns (yes! i finally started it! more on that later) and i just wanted to see what it looked like without the jacket. The jacket itself is interesting because there are two designs: each with a model depicting the mysterious love-interest of the main character Margo yet one is happy (Mona-Lisa-mystery-smile with yellow background) and one is sad (scowling-blue-background) to emphasise her duality and the fact that the even though she lives next-door and he has known her forever and is madly in love with her….Quentin doesn’t know who she really is.

 So i take off the dust jacket and it turns out the book is black with blue writing on the spine. I know it seems weird to care but…okay i have a lot of books in my house. Most don’t have jackets on….they just hang around. There are books in every single room in my house. And they basically dark. Dark blue or black or deep green or brown. Mainly black. So i found it interesting that An Abundance of Katherines, the book John Green published before Paper Towns, is white. All white with an indentation of a crouching girl on the front and blue writing on the spine. It is so white. Dazzling white. Like…between these covers there is a piece of holy scripture which is nothing to do with God but in fact just reveals the nature of man’s soul to whoever feels he is worthy enough to touch this book, this key to heaven, and you will be afraid but the book will drop from your hands but you will pick it up and kiss it and hold it to you because it is strangelycomforting. Or like not…i should probably mention the actual plot of the book is just kinda light hearted road-trip-teenage-boy-rom-com. I am just someone typing in the early hours of the morning, i am allowed to be dazzled by white books and feel the need to type nonsense. but yeah, An Abundance of Katherines is really good- the plot of the books all seem kind of light-weight etc. but all are so funny and alive and you just won’t regret reading them.

So yeah. You place Paper Towns next to An Abundance of Katherines and it’s like…wow, it is literally and  figuratively dark. When i look at Paper Towns and open it up i expect to see those dark old fashioned pages with a serif font and the book is actually a medical journal with scribblings in the margins and you are reading it- by candlelight obviously- and all these scribblings are hinting at something dark and plots and secrets and you just shut the book and shove it somewhere and decide to reread Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban. I am not even a Harry Potter fan- but that is my favourite of the books. I used to read it late at night a lot.

 Actually, i am betting my brothers and father are still awake right now. My mother is the only one who keeps regular hours (have been waiting to use that phrase for a long time. feels oddly appropriate, but i feel like i am about to reveal we have a terrible secret/disease. i don’t. i just find it hard to sleep). I also find it hard to use paragraphs. No idea why. And to indent stuff….what is up with that? I know it might be hard to read a big chunk of text but it is not like i plan what i write,as you may have noticed i just type bullshit as soon as i think it. Who even cares about dust jackets except like book collectors and who cares if some book is white or black (this feels like it should have a deeper meaning. so yes, i also believe that people are equal regardless of skin colour).

But books are just very important to me. Their physical presence is comforting, i hate being in a place with few books, i feel the need to comment if i am like at a house with few books just in case it turns out they do like books- they jut have so many they hire a warehouse for them in which case the lack of books in the house is acceptable. I like the feel of books, the feel of real paper (not that stupid textbook paper), the way a book smells, how easy they are to carry and how even though they aren’t round and curvy or anything but they are still very good to hug. And of course reading itself….yes. Yes. I really just need hand gestures to express what i feel about reading. If hear that someone doesn’t like reading….i don’t stop liking them. I know lots of people who don’t like to read and they are perfectly lovely people. But i am not really close to any of them. It is like a whole world they do not care for, an amazing ly brilliant (at times) universe which i guess i use an escape.

I like to escape from reality i will admit that. Maybe in a kind of unhealthy way. Maybe it is because i am always getting told how i have the potential to do anything i want (and who hasn’t heard that at some point?) but i don’t i instead stay indoors and i read and i daydream and i type away and instead i don’t know…wiki interesting dead people…and i am not even doing anything for New Years Eve . (Koni- Vladimir Putin’s dog- gets to party at New Years at the State Kremlin Palace. or did in 2004 anyway. great.)I never have. My family don’t think it is that big a deal and really it isn’t and i would prefer to stay here but i am always here. Always. My life is just sitting in horrible rooms absorbing stuff. I am a giant sponge. Except i am not even as cool as a giant sponge. I mean, if i knew a giant sponge i would think they were awesome. I would invite it over and be all “hey Sponge dude! What’s up?!” and it would look at me and roll its eyes and then go steal food frommy kitchen. Not like stealing food is cool…it just seems like something a sponge does. It gravitates towards kitchens and therefore food. All the sponges cool friends would be allowed to use it as a trampoline. It would be described as curvy, maybe even bootylicious, bouncy, playful, surprising and just the epitome of awesomeness.

God now i am wishing i was a giant sponge. But you know…at least i have a pancreas. Hahaha! I have a complete digestive system! Sorry. Biology revision. The digestive system is pretty cool. Except the large intestine (….which is mentioned in Dune because the Fremen have larger intestines so they can absorb more water from their food because they live in a desert environment and are just that cool) which is kind of boring. My biology teacher bangs on about the liver a lot….but i still prefer the pancreas.  I never used to know what it did, i just kind of thought i had better not ask because it seemed kind of sinister…just hanging around doing stuff and me not knowing what stuff was. I guess that could be said about a lot of my internal organs.

 I know i still deep down inside think lungs are actually hollow. i just cannot accept that they look like any other hunk of meat. I would be creepy to have big hollow bags inside my body but that is my mental image and that is what i am sticking with. I also didn’t think they did stuff other than breathe- thank you wikipedia. Breathing seems like a big enough task without other stuff but nooooo. Look at them go. Well…imagine them going. Lungs are also fun to draw. I drew a suitably creepy looking one in black biro in my biology book because Hannah had stolen my pencil. I also used to like drawing diagrams of the heart with little arrows to show the blood flow. I do like annotating diagrams. I have no idea how i got to rambling about drawing hearts. I really should put some paragraph breaks in.

Much better. Still reads like a crazy person but never mind. It is now around 3:20 am.  I wish i could write essays as easilyas this. I probably use the word ‘like’ to much, which is odd because i don’t use it often when i actually speak (or at least i hope i don’t). Anyway i am sorry if you read this. My brother mentioned the other day he sometimes reads my blog (he came across it by searching “ben” “brother” “blog” etc. on google. i was about to put a smiley emote there then realised that i am suddenly feeling rather dead). I think people stumble across it thinking it might have pictures of David Tennant. I sincerely apologise.

I never even typed about the Christmas special. We all know that it was pretty bad. Very bad…Christmas specials aren’t allowed to be dark or anything. Also i never feel sympathetic for children on TV. Oh no, some stage school brats are going to get some premature wrinkles from all that frowning. Oh dear. On the plus side the lack of a companion and exclusion of Rosita (honestly. Rosita. Gah.) meant that i could amuse myself by pretending there was an awful lot of sexual tension between David Morrissey and Tennant (oh there so was. At that Christmas dinner thing Jackson Lake was totally going to get hopelessly drunk and plead the Doctor to take him with him to the TARDIS and he would follow him to the edge of the universe and beyond just to be near him….then maybe pretend that he wanted this because the Doctor had saved his life and his son’s life and wanted to repay the debt but the Doctor would totally see through this and be all “Just kiss me Jack!” and…i hope you are all tortured by that mental image forever. goodnight).

Revision has driven me insane.

GCSE mocks after the holidays. That is just mean. Meany mean mean. I have been driving myself crazy, sitting in a room with textbooks open pretending to be reading, sometimes actually reading and wishing i could be reading a book instead. I have not read Paper Towns yet! I did however finish the Dune trilogy. Majorly freaked out by the end of that. And i don’t really like Leto II. No way near as cool as Leto I or Paul! I mean yes, he is meant to be all strong and yay its great he is taking on all the pain for the eventual benefit of the universe but that is just not really something I feel comfortable with. I mean, Paul ended up failing. He decided to go into the desert and just lose his identity rather than making the terrible choice Leto did. I am cool with that, that is normal that is what most people would do. (…i just reread that and remembered no one in real life has the gift/curse of prescience or bene gesserit training and i doubt any Dukes read my blog. it would be cool if they did. It would be even cooler if it turned out i was secretly a duke and i rewarded all my readers with chocolate coins).

Also…okay SPOILERS…Leto II isn’t human by the end so i guess that is another reason we can’t relate to him. Furthermore (i just didn’t want to use the word ‘also’ again) i do not get why he has to marry his freakin’ sister. I mean…there is no point. He isn’t going to mate with her (hahahaha, i love the breeding programmes in the book. they are hilarious) and has asked Farad’n to carry on the Atreides line with her. And Farad’n is like court scribe so it isn’t like he is going to take Ghani away with him anywhere. Leto II is just wrong (and nowhere near as hot as Paul. Even Paul when he is the Preacher with his eyes burned out is hotter than Leto II. Anyway. Leto II is like 9. I mean…you forget this because he was cognitive in the womb and acts more adult than most because of all his previous lives…god the plot looks so weird written down….yes. Basically i would just like to point out The Preacher and his sexily heretical speeches are one of the coolest things about Children of Dune). Apologies for the long bracket (i just feel i can like…type easier in brackets. If i had my way, this whole blog would just be lots of brackets (within brackers (within brackets)))

My cousin Dave and his long-term girlfriend (they should get married! they would have probably the coolest wedding ever) Emma came around to drink tea and play trivial pursuit. (Which is actually what my uncle Ralph did the day before they came. Family time!). I actually had no idea they had gone to Peru which sounded awesome. I talk about Dave a lot to my friends because whenever i hear he is coming round to the house i have always een like “yaaay! Cousin Dave!” because he used to play with us on the Nintendo and play us Cardiac CDs…he is just really nice. Into conspiracy theories and slightly pessimistic and paranoid (only slightly- besides he can totally laugh at himself about it) but just nice.

however today has been filled with learning about not nice people. Thank you history. It has been all STALINHITLERMUSSOLINIOTHERBADGUYS and trying to relearn all these dates and things. And going slightly insane. i mean…i had forgotten about how much i like to draw Hitler. I know that sounds weird but sometimes in history when it comes to talking about World War II it gets a bit boring because we do stuff about it like every year and my dad and uncle recount to me every tiny detail and then make me watch all these documentaries and films about it…so i end up drawing stick figures of Hitler just to amuse myself. Also it does actually help to quickly remind me of things when flicking through my book. Really, ever since i drew this self portrait in art years ago and before i drew all my hair someone pointed out that if you drew in the moustache it looked like Hitler…i have been trying to draw him ever since. It is impossible. Once you accidentally draw Hitler (i don’t look like Hitler by the way, i guess i am just awful at drawing myself) you can never draw him again. I have drawn him as foodstuff (notably as a potato and a gingerbread man. He looks best as a potato). So yeah. That was weird to admit. Actually if people looked through stuff i have written and drawn other the years they would just think i am insane.

(Insane AND a Duke?! I wish someone would make a comic about all my potential lives).

I am Dracula; and I bid you welcome

It is 1:19 am and i have just finished reading Dracula. I will talk of it later as i promised to speak of Hamlet…which all seems like some crazy dream. Was i really ever in the same room as my beloved David Tennant? Listening to him? Pervingon him through binoculars? Yeah…seeing as we had seats in the uppermost balcony I took some binoculars which proved to be very useful as i couldn’t see his face clearly without them and with them managed to observe all sorts of delightful details.

I didn’t like it so much at the beginning. Tennant strides in and everyone is like “yays! OMG!” but then he just goes to crouch in a corner. Honestly. And his voice is all posh and he isn’t so good at being sad (except at the funeral of Ophelia, which would be better if he wasn’t wearing that stupid beanie hat). But then as soon as Hamlet gets to act crazy- that is when Tennant is at his best. He is so fun to watch, and there is nothing sexier than David Tennant duct-taped to a swivel chair. He is adorable, bouncing, crawling even, all over the stage. He also looks very good with a gun. And when dying. Me and my friends did a full analysis of the various outfit changes. And despite having creepy feet (binoculars FTW! Sorry Mr Tennant that must be so weird for you. 15 year old girls perving on your feet with binoculars. Flee to the hills!)  he looks very good with no shoes, a tuxedo, and a jauntily angled crown. I could rave about him all night.

The play itself…uh…Patrick Stewart was very good as Claudius but not so good as the ghost. Some of it was baffling due to cuts in the script which, as i have already mentioned, had to be explained to me by my father. The scenes with Rosencrantz and Guildenstern were nicely comical. I developed some weird hatred for Polonius because his voice was extremely annoying (though this may be because i love Tennant’s voice and Stewart’s voice has always been a source of comfort and amusement for me). Overall, the play seemed a bit muddled and unsure. Still extremely amusing and i enjoyed watching it…but yeah. Also Hamlet something by father quotes extensively so every few minutes i would be thinking “oooh…so thats where it comes from”. Funnily enough, Dracula also has some quotes from Hamlet.

Okay- i love Dracula. Love! Love! I think maybe by the end is was running out of steam, though that could have just been me being very tired. Though it was nice you know, to read about real vampires (…well…not real…i will explain). It is just with the release of the Twilight movie and with a new social group in my form having latched onto the craze i am sick and tired of hearing about Edward Cullen. Dracula has an interesting array of powers and weaknesses. And he certainly doesn’t  play fucking baseball. He isn’t ridiculously sentimental. He isn’t so pathetic as to only eat animals. He drinks human blood and he is man enough (vampire enough?) to admit that he likes it, he wants it, and he is going to damn well get it. (sorry- just to note that on wikipedia Dracula is called a “villain”. I don’t really think he is, for actually when the men drive a knife through his heart etc. and he crumbles to dust he is no longer evil. Same with Lucy- he true soul is free to go to heaven since she is no longer a vampire. Besides. He isn’t that evil. I think he is a some points quite nice). Sorry. I shouldn’t compare the two just because they both have vampires in. One is an awesome gothic novel, the other a teenage girl masturbation aid. It would be interesting to kind of mix the two, maybe at some point in the twilight film Robert Pattinson could be replaced by Christopher Lee as Dracula and then we could all sit back and laugh as Bella gets her comeuppance for being so annoying and whiney.

 Dracula is  told through the letters and diary entries of more than one person and contains some interesting characters such as Renfield who is so creepy and chilling and then at some moments heart-warming. I was genuinely upset when he died and then you know,  never gets mentioned again. Seriously, i want the guy to have his own spin off novel. Maybe explaining how he ended up in a lunatic asylum, his early life, how he got into his zoophagus ways…okay, according to the internet that is how you spell the word. But basically it means that he eats over living things. He starts with collecting flies which he eats, then feeding them to spiders when he eats. He then feeds the spiders to sparrows and then begs to be given a cat which presumably he was also going to eat . But he never gets a cat and his interest in eating creatures comes and goes. What would have eaten the cat? Like…a really big dog? Maybe the wolves at the zoo.

Oh- also in the book they use the term “air-bleb”, meaning bubble. Isn’t that awesome?

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