Sorry, I made it seem like I might update regularly then didn’t. Here is a run-down of stuff:

I did nothing for Bonfire Night. I did end up reading Hemingway’s The Old Man and the Sea but that doesn’t relate to fireworks at all. I am disappointed in you Hemingway. Hopefully your other works will turn out to be more fireworks and less fish. (if you want to know I quite liked it but I don’t understand why people rave about it so much.  However, this could be because I was reading it at 3am and just wanted to sleep)

Speaking of books: I finished reading Crevel’s My Body and I (my copy is very square. It doesn’t look right amongst my other books). I like Crevel, he seems less annoying than the other surrealists (I am looking at you Breton). I have also started reading (well. I’m around 3/4 through now because it is wonderful) Jonathan Safran Foer’s Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close for my school’s book club. I think I prefer Everything is Illuminated but this novel still overwhelms me at times and makes me act all awkward and makes me want to cry.

I went with m father to see an amateur production of the first part of Kushner’s Angels in America. It started off shakily but everyone soon warmed up and some scenes were done exceptionally well so we were pleasantly surprised by the whole thing. I watched some of the HBO production (which I was too young to watch first time around) and that is amazing (Al Pacino is perfect) but I think I preferred seeing it at the Lyric when I was about 14 (now my dad knows more about the play he thinks that taking me so young was probably a mistake). On stage it seems more surreal, whereas on film the hallucinations etc. seem less surreal and more OTT.

Yesterday Imogen and I went to see Harry Potter! I think this is probably my favourite of the films. I, along with everyone else, was crying at Dobby’s death (surely I don’t need to mark spoilers for anything Harry Potter related?). Our school had a mufti day and quite a few people were dressed with a Potter theme. Imogen also drew me on a scar and some glasses- which I wasn’t able to wash off before going to the gym .

School has been a bit of a drag recently. Everyone is stressing out (UCAS! retakes! life!) and feeling down. I felt very relieved when I received two university offers but I am now feeling worse because obviously I am going to fail my retakes and my final exams so I can’t go to university and if I don’t go to university I will obviously end up living a horrible life filled with disappointments. My lessons all seem extremely boring- which is fair enough when we are studying things like how to build ancient greek temples, but not so much when we are looking at the Rape of the Lock which I actually like. I have joined our Amnesty International Club which is always good fun- whether or not we stay on topic which we generally do not do. Last session hardly anyone turned up so it turned into a “lets share gossip and bitch about people” club, and the week before that it went like: lets talk about a serious issue–we all agree this is wrong—Hannah! explain the economy!–lets talk about american politics—hah, Christine O’Donnell doesn’t believe in masturbation (…this sidetrack may have been my fault)—omigod twilight sucks. So yeah. Pretty fun. Plus none of my main friendship group are actively attending (Jess has shown up twice without meaning to and Imogen once) so I get to catch up with Hannah (who is no longer in my philosophy class) and Isabel (who used to be in my form) and Taif (who owns a leopard print hat. Yes, this is all I am going to say about Taif because otherwise I would have to go into the long list of reasons why she is awesome). I also attend choir (at my father’s request) which is…less fun…but still okay. And there is always the Thursday Period 4 Rave-Up to look forward to (which isn’t a rave, but there are generally  cheese savouries  and popcorn so really who cares?).

So I guess I shouldn’t be complaining about how things suck but ah well.


I get the feeling I have already written several posts called “aaaarh” all probably for the same reason as right now: I have work to do which I cannot do. I actually have no idea what to write about philosophy and our rights. Most of my notes consist of stick figures yelling stuff like “natural rights?!?! NONSENSE ON STILTS!”, shaking their fists angrily, wigs askew (I’m pretty sure this is all Jeremy Bentham did when he wasn’t working on his “Build a Super-Child!” project with James Mill…looking him up on wikipedia…oh. Apparently he “passed his time at falling unsuccessfully in love with all the ladies of the house, whom he courted with a clumsy jocularity, while playing chess with them or giving them lessons on the harpsichord”. Oh. That would probably be less weird if I wasn’t imagining Bentham’s preserved corpse doing the clumsy courting with the wax head falling off every now and then…). Okay some of my notes still make some sense. For example I know that I drew a picture of Mr Spock to remind myself that seeing as we are not all emotionless logical vulcans (…half-vulcans) we cannot rely on our reason! Apparently this is something conservatives make a point of? Okay I guess I just like drawing Mr Spock. Some of the weird ideas aren’t my fault. I didn’t come up with an analogy which involved having sex on benches (Lucy did and I have no idea what she was talking about. I just know that I now have a drawing of Marx encouraging us all to have sex on benches). I am going to fail philosophy this year but oh well. University shmuniveristy.

The last days of the holiday haven’t been too exciting. On friday I slept over at Jess’ and we watched Sleep Hollow for the millionth time. Only this time: it was in HD. Johnny Depp looks even more ridiculous hot in HD. However, the cast of Bridget Jones just looks plain ridiculous in HD- it looks like some cheap soap opera. We ended up watching Bridget Jones as the only other choices were porn (we did actually watch some Hotel Erotica which – bless its heart – tried to have a plot. We stopped watching when we realised just how weird it was that we were watching porn together and the sleazy music became too awful) and horror movies (not good horror movies mind you but terribly looking sequels).

Then on Saturday I went to a candlelit performance of most of Chopin’s  Nocturnes (and some other stuff) performed by Piers Lane. Piers was really awesome and introduced most of the pieces which made them more interesting. He also wore a fancy dinner jacket teamed with polka-dot socks ^.^

On Sunday I went to visit my brother up in Oxford (or…down in Oxford? Sideways in Oxford? I can’t remember where Oxford is in relation to where I am) on like a family open day at his college. Lady Margaret Hall is really nice and the modern buildings don’t look out-of-place and I’m sure the gardens are lovely in the summer but unfortunately when we were there it was rainy and cloudy. Kind of annoyed to find out my brother’s room is about a gazillion times larger than mine and my parents were all happy and proud of him (and I decided not to mention that my brother was lying to them about what he got up to half of the time. I miss him a surprising amount).

So that brings us up to date and I am going to get some tea and really try to focus because philosophy is not the only work I have been putting off this holiday.

Just some work avoidance

Again just posting blogs randomly instead of working!

This time: I’m avoiding English! Who knows what I will be avoiding next? (probably more english actually but for my other teacher) (oh i also have some work for general studies but who on earth cares about that)

I have instead spent most of the evening making cups of tea and watching Richard III. I just finished reading Richard III so this meant my dad had to go get 2 film versions of it and get me some helpful biographies. There is too much Richard in my life. (not like I mind, but now all my thoughts are being spoken by Laurence Olivier being Richard. Not good. So not good). Speaking of the film: it is annoying because they mix up scenes, the actress who plays Anne is terrible (though I was distracted during her scenes by my mother yelling “Killlllll hiiiiim Anne! Killll hiiim noooow!”) and they add in extra lines but I can forgive them because sometimes stuff needs more explaining (especially when everyone has the same name and sometimes gets referred to by title or name randomly) and also because who really cares about accuracy when Laurence Olivier is sporting some really bitchin’ hats. (here is a comic about Richard III! I love Kate Beaton’s stuff. She is the only reason I know anything about Canada)

Anyway- I finished reading a Streetcar Named Desire today. It feels too short! I also just feel annoyed at it in general because today in class we did a little brainstorm about the verb “flirt”. Seriously. AS Level English. “To flirt”-Is Blanche flirting? What does flirting really involve? Would you say flirting requires confidence?  (my notes on this just read “woe is me”). I much preferred drawing sketches of Trimalchio’s tomb in Class Civ. Trimalchio’s (hypothetical) tomb is so crazy what with its massive size, sundial (“ahah! so everyone who needs to know the time must read my name!”- that is actually just…horribly pathetic), freedman constantly on guard and the pictures of men scattering money and boys crying over broken vases.

Anyway. Tomorrow my main task is to buy milk! Exciting.

Oh right.

Oh, I just realised i haven’t updated this in a while. I’m back in England now (yay. i guess) working on a timeline of Hitler’s life and ideas (I only just realised how weird it is to do this whilst listening to the Silver Jews). America seems like it was ages ago and possibly never ever happened. The last evening was a bit weird…watching the last episode of Prime Suspect with my grandparents…turning it off to discover that Ted Kennedy had died (I went to go give my condolences to the picture of Bobby Kennedy we have. Which might seem a bit strange, but it just seemed the right thing to do)…ridiculously long flight home…(finished reading The Book Thief on the flight instead of sleeping). Since being back I have randomly met up with Tookey and Imogen and we also had a leaving party for Hannah (she is going to another school for sixth form which she is apparently enjoying. Which I guess is a good thing really…) which was rather lovely and we ate ridiculous scones and sat around not taking off our shoes (as opposed to the wild taking off of shoes which happens at other parties) because there could be sneaky shards of glass laying around due to the broken skylight (Hannah’s mother had to get some stitches in her nose, so *sends warm fuzzies*).

To try and get my sleeping pattern back to normal I stayed up all night watching The Prince and Me 2 (hilarious), Labyrinth and The Princess Bride (including all of the special features. Andre! So adorable! Plus it is pretty awesome that Samuel Beckett used to drive him to school).

Yesterday was the first day of school. Not like the first real day, just that boring day where you do all the administrative work and you get given booklets and letters (yays for injections against cervical cancer! Well. The injections are a good thing. People completely overreacting to having them is a bad thing) and have your ears broken by the fire drill (which sometimes sounds exactly like evil spirits screaming at you that they will get their revenge. or…not). I get to wear my own clothes and use the 6th form centre which is rather unsettling (especially because all the people in upper 6th kind of want to kill everyone in lower 6th). I’ve also switched from doing biology to philosophy.

Sorry, this blog seems unreasonably sad. I blame David Berman’s lyrics (funnily enough, “Honk if You’re Lonely Tonight” cheers me up. Awesome). And the weather. And probably having to read Mein Kampf at some point. (it could also be that a recurring theme for the people in my head right now is kidnapping.  And giant mechanical spiders. Filled with live spiders. I’m not really sure where that is going). Gosh even listening to Fuck Tha Police isn’t improving my mood. I think I might get some tea.

“Naaarg” is the new “blerrrg”

Ahah! I do have stuff to report. We came back from Tahoe on tuesday pretty exhausted. While up in Tahoe I did two awesome things: Para-sailing and Ice Skating. Para-sailing in Lake Tahoe was great, just me and my brothers 1400 feet in the air chillin’ out max and relaxin’ all cool…though before we got hoisted back into the boat we did get dipped into the water (which is kinda scary because it was all “the water is getting closer! It is so close! ARH WE ARE GOING TO FALL INTO IT!”).

"Take a picture, trick, I'm on a boat, bitch"
“Take a picture, trick, I’m on a boat, bitch”

The lake itself was really warm, and nicer in some ways than being in the sea because it isn’t salty (though my mum is kinda scared by it because she has “read in some book” that there are parts of the lake where they have not found the bottom. Ooooh). But of course going swimming with my brother ben means basically an hour or so spent trying to drown each other which probably weirded out the ridiculously american and healthy looking people on the beach (seriously. there were these walking stereotypes playing volleyball and drinking Budweiser). Anyway, fortunately we didn’t swim in Lake Donner which actually has warning signs which was “Warning-Xtreme Cold” which my dad ignores.

I didn’t have a blog last time I was in America but I’m pretty sure I told everyone I know how I went Ice Skating at 8000 feet up at the Olympic Ice Rink at Squaw Valley. It is just really beautiful up there especially at sunset when you can see the Lake and the Mountains (and it is actually cheaper to go up there at that time so that’s a plus) and hardly anyone is there…oh wait NO because suddenly a large group of American chavs invaded the rink. Grrr. Ah well, it was fun while it lasted (ice skating is good. Ice skating with ‘Super Freak’ playing in the background is awesome).  You do have to table car up there and back which is pretty freaky.

I'm in a cable car motherfucker (...?)

I'm in a cable car motherfucker (...?)

(by the way i am apparently missing out on cheese and nibbles. oh well. I just learnt how to punch a shark. Thanks youtube!) (i really should watch Shark Week. it looks awesome).

Anyway, Tahoe is pretty and all but mostly we stayed inside reading. I finished Pompeii by Robert Harris because I have to read it for class civ. next year and oh my god I just hate everyone in that book. (funnily enough, this is the one book I have ever heard my chemistry teacher say he likes. This is just further evidence that my chemistry teacher should be under permanent house-arrest with no internet access so he cannot share his dangerous ideas to the world) (oh my, i just realised he isn’t my chemistry teacher anymore!).

To spice things up a little (there is a phrase I never thought i would write. I can just see myself in 30 years time writing that in a family christmas letter about a trip to a glue making factory or something) when we got back we went to Berkeley! Aarh I am half annoyed and half happy that I got their last signed copy of David Eggers latest book at Moe’s Bookstore. Happy because that is awesome, unhappy because the reason they had signed copies is that Eggers was doing a talk there last week (which I could have gone to) and he isn’t doing anymore at the moment. Gah. Anyway, I also bought an issue of McSweeney’s, an album by the Silver Jews (American Water, i think it is considered their best. Incidentally, McSweeney’s once featured some of David Berman’s poetry. Clearly Dave Eggers is actually to awesome to function) and a Rasputin Music t-shirt. Yes, you read that correctly. I have Gregory fucking Rasputin on a shirt (which claims that he is a “Profligate. Panderer. Prophet. The Protomartyr of Punk“). We also had some bitchin’ sandwiches for lunch. And by “bitchin'” i mean they were really huge and tasted amazing and were made with fresh and tasty produce.

Err since then…not much. My mum went to LA and has since returned (she saw Britney Spears. Apparently she looked like a tramp. How suprising). I have awakwardly watched some Jon Stewart with my grandma. Gah. Very awkward trying not to laugh at Judd Apatow and Jon Stewart’s funny banter about masturbation and penis jokes in front of your grandma. Oh my god there was the most ridiculous clip of some anti-health care nonsense by some republican dude (who is called Chuck. that is always a bad sign) which you can find here because wordpress is a bitch who let me insert the video here. I also went to the Betty Crocker art museum to view some ceramics by female Japanese artists, which was…just really really boring…so I imagined what it would be like to take over the house, destroy the new extension they are adding and live a fantasy 18th century lifestyle and host magnificent balls in their kick-ass ballroom (apparently all their Crocker family were pretty awesome back in the day). Secret evil desires brighten up anything (as I’m sure Fia knows). It was stupidly hot today so i spent most of it in the pool instead of the original plan which was to go see Buddhists perform a Michael Jackson tribute (if anyone is seriously interested, I’m pretty sure i can find some poor-quality videos of it). That is about it (oh, actually I did go to the mall. I went to Macy’s. *shudder*). I will be going into San Francisco tomorrow so hopefully I’ll have something interesting to say about it.

(but i probably will not have any news because it is so boring I even picked up the newspaper. I was rewarded with an article about how totally awesome Bill Clinton is for getting those two journalists back from North Korea. gah! love so much!) (also love this thing about whether Bill is more Bond or McClane) (McClane could so kick Bond’s ass any day)

Attack of the overly Long Blog Posts! Showing Now!

Lots has been happening this week! Which might take a while to recount because i could get sidetracked because this blog is being powered by lots and lots of strawberry fruitellas (which is apparently the british starburst? who cares. thanks to the friendly cashier dude i bought a 4 pack and need more more more). Anyway, transport your mind back to last Sunday because that is when i had my birthday party. Which I didn’t really have a plan for because it would be too expensive to have like a real party (movie tickets! what is wrong with you Odeon!?!) andit is kinda hard to find one thing we all want to do. So we just rolled with it. The result was me, Hannah, Jess, Divya, Imogen, Zoe, Fia, Tookey and Suga crammed into my garage trying to play ping-pong with 3 bats, books, a spade (Imogen. why do i think she is sane?) and a biscuit tin lid (Divya was actually pretty skilled with that).

Why do I let these people into my house?

Why do I let these people into my house?


Wait, why am I allowed out of my house?

Wait, why am I allowed out of my house?

Then we ate fooooood (traditionally at my house we have to eat smiley faces and sausage rolls. and drink rootbeer. I think i managed to convert the Tookster and Suga to the Rootbeer cause) (oh- Tookey’s parents told her not to get drunk at my house with all us year 11s. I feel like i live in some badass house of sin or something) (not like rootbeer is alcoholic. just so so good). We also did the trek to blockbusters (also traditionally) and spent forever trying to rent movies we all liked (yeah the arguing at this point is also traditional. I mean, tackling Tookey wasn’t really necessary but it was very fun). We ended up watching Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist…we rented some other movies which we didn’t watch (oh well….it left time for us to watch The Princess Bride. Which was my plan all along muhahahahaha). Talking late into the night about randomness which was interesting because Tookey has not been subject to sleepover interrogation before. Or Imogen-Interrogation in the form of tennis ball truths etc. Terrifying but the Tookster handled it well. I also revealed that i have a fetish for purple men dressed as oxen who want to plough me (…i could explain this. but do you really want me to?) (note for your mental images: there is headbutting involved) (note to my mother, who has recently discovered facebook and may become good at internet-stalking in the future: it was a joke. A weird game of make believe) (shifting the attention off of myself…surely the best quote of the evening must have been zoe saying “hey! my spit looks like africa!”)

Oh present wise…Zoe gave me a book about Charles Manson (thanks for that), Jess gave me a book about a serial killer and the DVD of The Prince and Me 2 (…weirdest gift combo ever?) (oh she also gave me an awesome card. With a drawing of Rufus Wainwright on it. Wearing lederhosen. Tennis lederhosen) and Hannah gave me a book about some crazy dude (hey is there like a theme here?) (no the book looks really good.  It is called Cockroach by Rawi Hage). Suga gave me money (she didn’t get me a book because she thinks i am “so well read” and she also wrote in her card that she hopes i “don’t get something that convinces you that i am an assassin”. Suga is so adorable. She even called my room magical ♥) (Divya complained that my room had porn in it. It is a Toulouse-Lautrec painting! A painting of a hooker yes, but not a saucy one). Fia gave me a DVD of Labyrinth (squeee!) (oh, fia gets confused when i use non-words (like blerg. or flaaaargn. or smehneh etc.), so to translate: i was excited) and Divya gave me a DVD of Mona Lise Smile which I have never seen. Tookey gave me 2 Books: Gulliver’s Travels and the Prisoner of Zenda (my dad got excited because he has always wanted to read it because he has a nostalgic thing about the 1937 film and is always outraged that this version is never shown on TV) and Jeff Buckley’s CD Grace. I haven’t listened to it yet because….

I have been too busy listening to DFTBA Records: Volume One! A present from Imogen so awesome it comes from overseas, the envelope was decorated with stars and it gets it’s own little paragraph because I love it so much. I have been listening to it constantly. Favourites: “The Anglerfish Song” by Hank Green because it has to be the catchiest song ever, “Can’t” by Alan Lastufka 6 and Tom Milsom because i love the use of the inkjet printer noise for percussion and the tune makes me want to the macarena robot style, “Exterminate, Regenerate” by Chameleon Circuit which i have already given much love to, “In the Absence of Christmas” by Charlie McDonnell because it crazy original and yes, a little sad but in a good way (oh hey- did anyone get that Charlie was the inspiration for the whole “purple-oxen-men” comment? so yes: i am sorry Charlie that that is what happens to you in my head. So sorry), “Porphyrophobia” by Tom Milsom (damn this list is long), “The Nonsense Song” by Michael Aranda gets on my favourites probably because i just love the idea of a magic grilled cheese sandwich and finally “I Pity the Fu” by Molly Lewis because it is a song about Mr T. Accompanied by the ukulele. With some kick-ass lyrics. (plus Molly Lewis is a Coulton fan so of course she is going to be awesome and write songs with crazy lyrics)

Aaarh so anyway that was fun. But then work experience had to begin sometime so i have been kicking it old-school shall we say with the Museum of London Early History Department. Hell yeah. I got to label pieces of prehistoric flint baby. And an assortment of random artifacts (you can see my labelling skills if you ever go and like handle the the broken pots and animal bones. Or flint from box 3, flints from number 189-284) (yes i did label 95 rocks. And yeah that involves coating them in nail varnish. And yes i did end up spilling ink all over the carpet on my first day but who cares because i can pretend i am an awesome archaeologist lady). What was actually cool was going into the basement and going through drawers of Medieval ironwork because the senior curator who specialises in Medieval stuff is retiring (he knows so much it was so scary, but he is really nice) and so the other curators are trying to “download his brain” before he leaves. Drawers and drawers of badges, rings, brooches, stuff-which-is-linked-to-Thomas-Beckett (the dude clearly got around…his…blacksmiths?) and horse-stuff (spurs: have more potential for innuendo than i would have thought) and lots of keys (they also are also apparently overflowing with spoons. Kinda like my spoon drawer. Spoons are evil dammit).

Oh you know what else i did? I investigated a pottery fragment and for one afternoon became an expert in pottery marks and dived into the mysterious world of heraldry. Oh my god why on earth do people write books about pottery? Are these people actually alive? Now Heraldry. It is just insane. These people are insane. All the crazy terminology and symbolism and rules! It could be fascinating if it wasn’t so damn scary. I mean you could fill a book, in fact there are probably too many books, about the rules about Coats of Arms for illegitimate children. And what happens to the Coat of Arms if, like with John of Gaunt’s and Katherine Swynford’s children, they become legitimate. Aaarh.

It is also my job to design an activity sheet for small children about the River Thames. Throughout the fucking ages. So i had to go through all the galleries and write down anything about the Thames (easier than i thought until i hit 1558-1666. Our paths cross again Mr Cromwell. But this, i have the advantage. Because i have a clipboard andyou are behind a display case. Suck on that bitch). Okay, i actually had some fun coming up with questions and trying to be “fun”. (i did entertain a fantasy that it was future me, who owns a time machine, who threw all this stuff into the Thames, just so i had more questions to ask. I mean, stealing viking swords and carving curses into tablets in latin would be awesome). So if you like to feel smart by doing easy quizzes, come to the Museum on August 1st or 2nd and pick up a sheet.

The Museum is nice, i get tea and high-quality biscuits and everyone is lovely to me. Plus i get like a badge to beep myself in and out of security doors. It feels kinda cool (it would be cooler if the staff entrance to the office section wasn’t next to the toilets).

In other news: Tookey lent me season 1 of 30 Rock and I am enjoying it, i have been wearing lots of skirts this week and i think i like it, i only got1/5 when Charlie presented Truth and Fail so i should have to upload a video of me doing the macarena backwards (the question i got right is the one about William Shakespeare’s will because i always remember how everyone makes a point of saying “second best bed”), tomorrow is Hannah’s birthday party so hopefully that should be fun and this is also the only time i see Hannah’s outside school friends Ella and Scarlett (which is a shame because they are both so nice and they are probably more up to date on Ellen-in-jokes than Ellen is) (unfortunately Ellen couldn’t make it to my party because she was seeing Lang-Lang in concert).

IN MAJORLY IMPORTANT NEWS Jess has swine flu. So warm fuzzies for Jess, even if she might not appreciate them because having swine flu makes her grumpy. But still she may finally update her blog (oh she actually did the early hours of yesterday! go Jess!) so you should check it out (link the sidebar!) if you want to wish her well/angry ladies turn you on.

(oh God in a post around the same length as some of my english essays i actually missed stuff out. Notably: i finally finished The Portrait of a Lady after an embarresingly long time. I was not entirely happy with the ending. Then read all of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows one night because Imogen challenged me and i am sick of being shown up in front of other nerds. I did like it, more than Half-Blood Prince I think, but yeah…I agree the epilogue sucks majorly.  Not sure what I am going to read next. But it is likely it will feature creepy people).

To sum up: i am feeling kinda sad.

Yes! No more physics ever! And yes, latin prose went fine, but background was a little weird (fortunately, i came up with enough archaeological evidence about available jobs not to mention prostitution or the whole “a penis on a sign means a bakery” thing)…(though i really think we should begin to call Brothels “Lupanare” because “House of the She-Wolves” sounds pretty awesome…or at least i’m pretty sure that’s how it’s translated. Or it could be “Lair of the She-Wolves”)…(then again how often to brothels come up in normal conversation?)…(which excludes conversations with Zoe and people of her ilk)

Anyway, brothels aside, my grandparent’s birthday gift arrived today. Which was one of those Tiffany Charm Bracelets which completely surprised me, but my mother was all “oh yeah i guess it’s just a traditional sweet 16 thing”. Like seriously? I guess that’s nice but it made me slightly upset that my grandparents would spend $210 (at current exchange rate that is roughly  £128.50 making it the most expensive gift i have probably ever received) on a bracelet which to be honest i probably won’t wear that often because wearing things just because they are expensive is kinda stupid. I really would have been much happier if they had bought me a book or something. It makes me upset because my grandparents clearly have no idea what kind of person I am and yeah i know this is my fault as well and we hardly see each other because of the distance and even when i am with them i tend to avoid them because frankly they creep me out…gah. It’s really nice and all i just wish they were more lovable.

(it’s good to know that if i have kids they totally won’t have this problem because my mum is totally physched about her potential grandchildren and will be one of those nice, huggable grandparents who secretly slip you money and ice cream. If those exists. I’m really just guessing here, wikipedia doesn’t have articles about the different sub-types of grandparents)

Music News: Imogen made me listen to two songs by Chameleon Circuit today! Chameleon Circuit being a Trock band (and by Trock i of course mean Timelord rock) and all their songs are about Doctor Who and so i listened to “Exterminate Regenerate” which is pretty damn catchy (and yes, agreed with Imogen. Charlie’s vocals sound pretty hot) and “journey’s end” which was a nice re-cap of the last episode (it is always nice to see them daleks) and thus gave me flashbacks of all the little emotional bits i had forgotten.

In other music news- my headphones don’t work. This majorly sucks. And i guess it technically isn’t news, but music-wise i have had “Communist Daughter” stuck in my head throughout exams which makes it difficult to concentrate because i don’t know the words. I was in latin, translating in my head, and it went like this “every nation of the Gauls is greatly devoted to the communist, the communist daughter standing on the seaweed water religions and for that reason semen stains the mountain topsthose who are affected by more serious illnesses…” though really just “semen stains the mountain tops” going round my head over and over in Jeff Mangum’s weird voice (i actually find the song really relaxing because a part of the background music sounds like waves fwooshing in…fwooshing out…)

I actually have to try and work out a way of making a group on facebook so we can appreciate Fia’s blog together (Suga needs to create a blog to complete the circle: Suga made me a blog appreciation, i am making fia one nowish, fia made one for imogen, imogen will make one for jess and then jess can make one for Suga! can you feel the love we all have for our blogs?) (no i am not really feeling the love tonight. not even updates from Bill Clinton on facebook will make me feel better) (though really i shouldn’t be indulging in self-pity because i only have two exams left and some people, good luck Jess, have three. which means they have more suck to deal with) (i’m not entirely sure why i am all moody but maybe if i use enough brackets i can sort this out).

Blerrrg. That is the title.

It seems that once again instead of getting down to some serious chemistry revision i am devising conspiracy theories about rapid marmosets (i have decided marmosets are evil just so you know) and contemplating the awesomeness of dinosaurs who wear monocles. I have worked through all my notes several times and now realise why i should have spent the last two years of chemistry lessons working instead of plotting the demise of my chemistry teacher, passing notes with Imogen and Zoe about things such as giraffe sex/Zoe’s love life/our chemistry teachers love life (fortunately, never a combination of all three), leaving bitter comments in my chemistry book and copying any work off Hannah.

Fortunately all other exams seem to have gone pretty much okay- i actually managed to work Star Trek into my french writing exam because going to the cinema is easy to write about (sorry Jess: i might have written that you are my tall best friend who likes James Kirk because he is strong and handsome. I apparently love swimming and when i am hungry like a wolf i eat three, yes three, sandwiches when we have picnics). That is probably not as bad when i managed to include orange shirts and brown elf shoes into my year 8 french writing exam. Other exams…not much to report they are exams. I did get “Cold Ethyl” stuck in my head during History today, but replaced “Ethyl” with Lenin. This meant i was stuck wondering what would happen if i did happen to meet Lenin last night and we made love by the refrigerator light. Is Lenin frigid as an eskimo pie? Presumably, Lenin ought to be cool in bed because Lenin is dead. Ohhhh Lenin, Lenin let my squeeze you in my arms! Lenin, Lenin come and freeze me with your charms! So on and so forth. (did i ever mention Cold Ethyl is my favourite song about necrophilia? Not like it has much competition…apart from other Alice Cooper songs…)

On a non-creepy note: this is a reminder to myself and Suga that i owe Suga cake at some point. Suga made a group on facebook in support of my blog (finally! the fame i deserve!) (…i feel compelled to point out it only has five members. Divya is more appreciated than i am. But then again, Divya is an awesometacular person who turned 16 yesterday- well done Divya! We never thought you could make it this far!). Thank you again, it really cheered me up particularly because obviously exams have made me go slightly insane and unable to have normal conversations.

Captain’s Blog?

I apologise for the lack of updates in a time when people need absolutely any distraction at all. Currently feeling dehydrated and despite the fact that it is currently 4:42 am i feel very awake. Inflamed with nerdy rage you could say. I actually haven’t been updating because daytime is spent revising and nighttime is spent watching Star Trek. This could count as revision. I now know potassium nitrate and sulphur can make gunpowder. This knowledge will be essential for survival next time i am forced into combat with a slow, immensely strong alien on a desert planet (which is actually California). I have also gained random physics knowledge (…which can’t actually be applied to this universe. But hey. Definitely not going to try and find a way into an paralell universe to try and kill parallel-universe me anytime after watching that episode). I am glad that I’ve done biology and therefore won’t get confused by the discovery of silicon-based lifeforms (um…who look like horribly designed rugs with a lot of stuff shoved underneath them. Gosh I love how terrible the special effects are). Also i have yelled “honestly- when will people realise time travel is a bad idea!?” more than is socially acceptable.

I’m really sorry if i have infected you with my nerdiness. But it seems to be the only thing calming me down recently (just a thought: Captain Kirk is an excellent blogger. I mean, i know it’s his log, and it’s voice recorded, but still! Always something interesting to say! Updating even when he is about to be killed! He is indeed a blogging hero for our times). It’s like…why worry about my GCSEs when i probably don’t exist because of the eugenics war at around the time i was born? Why should i be sad when Spock just unknowingly quoted The Princess Bride (“as you wish” and “inconceivable!”)? Are GCSEs more difficult than having to let your love die so that germany didn’t win World War Two (William Shatner and Joan Collins…they do totally work as a couple) or being forced into mortal combat with your best friend because some stupid evil bitch  didn’t realise that Spock was a fine piece of pointy-eared booty?

(And another question: did the writers of the show have a challenge to see who could come up with the weirdest way of getting Kirk’s shirt ripped off?)

…I just realised how ridiculous the plots are (the shirt ripping is also ridiculous. You would expect a captain to have sturdier shirts). But i am still totally mad at T’Pring (aforementioned stupid evil bitch) for choosing to reject Spock (the man-vulcan hybrid has crazy eyebrow gymnastic skills!). I mean how could she resist?

Just kidding. I actually have a nerdy crush on Leonard McCoy because he is a doctor dammit, not an escalator.

(just to clarify: i don’t have a crush on either of them, but if they had a child it would have eyebrows dexterous enough to beat the children off the cadbury’s advert)

(contemplation of that line has caused the people in my head to have an argument about the specifics of an escalator eugenics war…which should be the name of a band! The Escalator Eugenics War. I would like to wish happy birthday to Hannah’s Brother Adam, who needs a name for his band. I know, it was his birthday yesterday but i didn’t wish him happy birthday on facebook because i am spending my time looking at who joins which fan pages and groups. It is most enlightening in some cases. Though there are no prizes for guessing which friend proudly supports “Anal- Up the Chuff!”)

Nerdcore and the Jews on the Moon

Hello…blog people. My perception of time might be a little screwed as i haven’t been keeping normal hours. By which i mean i went to sleep at 8am this morning. And the day before that i went to bed at around 6am. See, this would be acceptable if i was out clubbing and not staying up… watching Peep Show and Star Trek (sorry. my nerdy feelings are just made worse by “I fought the law” just coming on the radio. Also because i feel i need to clarify i was watching the original Star Trek).

OKay to explain that bracket: me, Imogen and fia went to watch Star Trek on Thursday because we are nerdcore (great. now Chuck Berry is singing “No particular place to go”…) and also kinda because Hank Green said it was really good (and i trust Hank because he is a star trek nerd. and yes, at some point in the film Imogen did turn around and ask “What would Captain Picard do?”). And it was just amazingly awesome! Though this could be because i was getting a bit too emotionally involved with the whole plot (i think this was justified! however i get the feeling fia and Imogen disapproved. but! but! *flaps arms around and makes squeaky noises*).  Plus, Zachary Quinto was adorable as Spock.

Anyway, because it rocked i am kinda watching some of the original star trek because i have never actually seen any. I watched Star Trek: The Next Generation enough to really like Captain Picard because he was just awesomely awesome, but not enough to think that watching Star Trek was an acceptable excuse not to go to the school disco (sorry but the old school discos were amazing, so i always remembered that excuse). 

So original star trek is pretty enjoyable, especially with all the cheesy special effects which are actually pretty endearing (…sorry advert for the “red hot channel” just came on the radio. scares me every time).  Plus, because i was having to tell my mother that yes, Leonard Nimoy is definitely Jewish (i find it odd how Spock has always been more recognisable to me than Kirk, a more comforting figure. I mean, i always think William Shatner is dead. That is comforting at all. ) i have found out some cool things about Jewish people in space (unfortunately, no Jewish people have been on the moon….though “Jews on the Moon” is the name of a short science fiction story i just found…in 2053 the Jewish people are apparently living on the dark side of the moon and all the gentiles had a party. Don’t worry though, life on earth sucks but the Jews have actually made a fantastic place for themselves on the moon. Actually “life disintegrated” without the Jews. Anyway, god decides to destroy the earth, which makes so “the Jews on the moon went into a period of deep mourning”. gosh that is such a weird sentence to type. Anyway, the story had no real ending, but if you’re interested: Hitler’s last remaining relative is in Brazil).

…sorry i got distracted by reading that. I was going to say that there have only been like 9 Jewish astronauts (by which i mean, when i search “Jewish astronauts” on wiki, it gives me nine names). Unfortunately two of them were killed, Judith Resnik of the Challenger and Illan Ramon of the Columbia. ON a lighter note, David Wolf was the first american to vote in space and Greg Chamitoff was the first person to bring bagels into space (which were from his cousin’s bakery, which is cute).

Anyway, aside from the nerdiness, it was my father’s birthday yesterday (…okay i could nerdify that so easily. Because the 22nd is also Jeffrey Rowland’s birthday. never mind)! So we went to eat at an italian restaurant and it was all lovely and happy (i had oreos for breakfast this morning. which isn’t really relevant. i just wanted to put another bracket in here).

So tra la la, i have time off from exams. To revise! To maybe start watching Heroes (hello!? why did no one tell me there was implied brain eating fia!?) and finish Grey’s Anatomy. I am saving Peep Show for when i really need it, which is before chemistry and physics exams.

(…i would just like to say “Nerdcore and the Jews on the Moon” sounds like a good band name. I am getting better on guitar if anyone is interested).

(oh and another thing- my mum never really watched star trek…but she insists that i say “Captain Kirk” instead of just “Kirk”. She is clearly crazy and is probably harbouring a secret love of Kirk. Which is weird, because he has moobs. Moobs! Spock beats Kirk anyday. Spock never steals cars whilst listening to the Beastie Boys).

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