Sorry, I made it seem like I might update regularly then didn’t. Here is a run-down of stuff:

I did nothing for Bonfire Night. I did end up reading Hemingway’s The Old Man and the Sea but that doesn’t relate to fireworks at all. I am disappointed in you Hemingway. Hopefully your other works will turn out to be more fireworks and less fish. (if you want to know I quite liked it but I don’t understand why people rave about it so much.  However, this could be because I was reading it at 3am and just wanted to sleep)

Speaking of books: I finished reading Crevel’s My Body and I (my copy is very square. It doesn’t look right amongst my other books). I like Crevel, he seems less annoying than the other surrealists (I am looking at you Breton). I have also started reading (well. I’m around 3/4 through now because it is wonderful) Jonathan Safran Foer’s Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close for my school’s book club. I think I prefer Everything is Illuminated but this novel still overwhelms me at times and makes me act all awkward and makes me want to cry.

I went with m father to see an amateur production of the first part of Kushner’s Angels in America. It started off shakily but everyone soon warmed up and some scenes were done exceptionally well so we were pleasantly surprised by the whole thing. I watched some of the HBO production (which I was too young to watch first time around) and that is amazing (Al Pacino is perfect) but I think I preferred seeing it at the Lyric when I was about 14 (now my dad knows more about the play he thinks that taking me so young was probably a mistake). On stage it seems more surreal, whereas on film the hallucinations etc. seem less surreal and more OTT.

Yesterday Imogen and I went to see Harry Potter! I think this is probably my favourite of the films. I, along with everyone else, was crying at Dobby’s death (surely I don’t need to mark spoilers for anything Harry Potter related?). Our school had a mufti day and quite a few people were dressed with a Potter theme. Imogen also drew me on a scar and some glasses- which I wasn’t able to wash off before going to the gym .

School has been a bit of a drag recently. Everyone is stressing out (UCAS! retakes! life!) and feeling down. I felt very relieved when I received two university offers but I am now feeling worse because obviously I am going to fail my retakes and my final exams so I can’t go to university and if I don’t go to university I will obviously end up living a horrible life filled with disappointments. My lessons all seem extremely boring- which is fair enough when we are studying things like how to build ancient greek temples, but not so much when we are looking at the Rape of the Lock which I actually like. I have joined our Amnesty International Club which is always good fun- whether or not we stay on topic which we generally do not do. Last session hardly anyone turned up so it turned into a “lets share gossip and bitch about people” club, and the week before that it went like: lets talk about a serious issue–we all agree this is wrong—Hannah! explain the economy!–lets talk about american politics—hah, Christine O’Donnell doesn’t believe in masturbation (…this sidetrack may have been my fault)—omigod twilight sucks. So yeah. Pretty fun. Plus none of my main friendship group are actively attending (Jess has shown up twice without meaning to and Imogen once) so I get to catch up with Hannah (who is no longer in my philosophy class) and Isabel (who used to be in my form) and Taif (who owns a leopard print hat. Yes, this is all I am going to say about Taif because otherwise I would have to go into the long list of reasons why she is awesome). I also attend choir (at my father’s request) which is…less fun…but still okay. And there is always the Thursday Period 4 Rave-Up to look forward to (which isn’t a rave, but there are generally  cheese savouries  and popcorn so really who cares?).

So I guess I shouldn’t be complaining about how things suck but ah well.


Daunting Task!

I haven’t updated in over a month. I am scared to start writing again (because I’m lazy. not because I have anything scary to write). Lots of wonderful things have happened!

  • Greece! I went on a school trip to Greece and saw pretty much everything…unfortunately it is a little fuzzy in my head (school trips never feel real when you get back). It was an odd week getting stuck on top of the Acropolis during a mad thunderstorm, racing at Olympia, running around museums at night taking guerilla photographs (you aren’t allowed to pose with the statues so to get a cool photo you have to get creative), going to the Oracle at Delphi (so awesome up in the mountains), adventuring beneath the city of Mycenae, singing “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” at Epidaurus and nearly killing Zoe (we shared a room. that is reason enough). I know that there is a lot to question in this paragraph but if you are reading this you were either on the trip or I have babbled at you about it. Or if you don’t fit into those categories you can just string it all together how you want (you should add in some lasers. The trip needed some more lasers)
  • Tookey and I saw Jonathan Coulton. I’m not sure how I can edit that sentence to show you my excitement. I SAW JONATHAN COULTON!   You know how it is- he is my favourite singer and I love him to pieces and it was the most awesome evening ever. (…it has been like three weeks and I am still hyper). I was also properly introduced to the music of Paul and Storm who were wonderfully funny and as soon as they finished their set me and Tookey looked at each other and started arguing about who was going to get up and buy their CDs (I went in the end). Aaarh and Jonathan was amazing and funny and he played some songs I didn’t know all that well (as well as cover versions of Birdhouse in your Soul by TMBG and Up the Junction by Squeeze- which made me excited) (oh! you can see the set list for the gig here! how cool is that?) and I didn’t mind that he rickrolled us during Mr Fancy Pants. Afterwards he stayed behind and so I got to meet him and I totally didn’t act like a creepy fangirl or anything (go me!):

a photo my dad thinks is creepy

This photo makes me so ridiculously happy

And I also met Paul and Storm (they were really excited about Tookey’s name. They were even more excited when she said they could call her “Tookles”):  

My dad probably finds this one creepier

Hell yeah Paul is wearing a Captain Hammer shirt!

And speaking of Captain Hammer: whilst waiting in line for these photos I was singing songs from Doctor Horrible’s Sing Along Blog with the guys behind me (one of them was being Moist in their university’s production! I hope it went well!). Tookey gave me a look for singing with strangers. But everyone there was just so nice! The atmosphere was fantastic! Hanging around with fellow nerds who wave macbooks instead of lighters (I also saw a companion cube when Jonathan sang “Still Alive”) and joining in whole-heartedly whether we were pretending to be pirates or zombies (I recently listened to the latter in french. I am just waiting for someone to write a musical of the french revolution with zombies so this song can get the recognition it deserves) (…it would work! We just need to get Kate Beaton onto this!)

ANYWAY. I’m sorry. That was a lot of rambling about JoCo. I also…went to my schools christmas fair…yay…(ooh actually that is a yay! they sold glittery rice krispy square things!) and got swine flu! I also became vaguely addicted to twitter (not updating it- just seeing what everyone else is doing) and MLIA.Hopefully interesting things will happen in the future: I might be going to see New Moon with Imogen (it depends if we can find some wizard robes and hufflepuff scarves in time. We aren’t going there to swoon over werewolf abs!) and I need to catch up on all the gossip and fling myself into trying to become philosopher of the week (never going to happen but I have my Aristotle bookmark to keep me company). Oh- I also read ‘One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest’ which I thought was pretty awesome (I kinda love Harding despite everything. It is because Kesey always goes on about how lovely his hands are!) but now I am reading ‘The Graveyard Book’ so I can understand why the internet seems to have a massive crush on him (looking through his website I can kinda understand- he seems adorable) (though he would be more adorable if he had a giant squirrel tail).

OH: I just remembered! Doctor Who! It has been so long since I have needed to say anything about it. I went over to Hannah’s house to watch it and meet all her shiny new friends (who were lovely and insane and one of the girls was wearing Hammer Pants) which was fun. It was a really depressing episode (with random bits which weren’t meant to be funny. Like slow-motion ceiling watching and the whole “LOOK AN OOOOOOOOD!” moment) and I cannot wait until the Christmas special. The Master is coming back! (…though why is he blonde? Do all evil villains go through a blonde phase?)

Mmmm Giant Marshmallow Friends

I keep forgetting to post! Not like anything has really happened but still. I also wanted to post today because of the date! If you’re thinking “Gandhi’s birthday!”- congratulations: you use google. However i was actually going for Richard III’s birthday (incidentally according to wiki he was the first person of note to be born on October 2nd) (you know who even decides what days are important enough for google to commemorate? it all seems like a load of random to me) (oh also: Ricardian Overload- that is a good name for a band and an accurate description of my thoughts right now which are a weird combination of Pumpkin Pie, book displays and Richard III having a snowball fight) (John Green also does the whole “that should be a band name!” thing! yays! His suggestion: Tv for Chickens).

As you might be able to tell all my thoughts are all kind of jumbly and blerg- probably because i’m trying to watch A Very Potter Musical again whilst typing or maybe because I had history last thing today and I now have free rein to make my own notes which means lots and lots of stick figures (many just so you know that the words next to them are a quote. Although I doubt the Nazi’s actually used the phrase “Only youcan prevent communist fires”)(we were looking at the burning of the Reichstag today)  and storm clouds (like whenever I write “Storm Troopers”). Today was also nice because of kayaking and having cake during Class Civ (awesome cakes! Thank you Lucy!). Also because we are doing gladiators we get to watch a lot of film clips which makes everything more relaxing. Oh and also English is not as awful as I first thought.

…anything else….Yes! Me and Fia saw District 9 last weekend which I thought was good (the overall film was original but some of the types of scene were not) and Waterstones had a new copy of Looking For Alaska in so I got to write a Nerdfighter note (ooh! Me and Imogen where in the “Wheres Margo?” Montage! We are the people on the collapsing telephone boxes near the beginning!)

And Jonathan Coulton is coming to England and I have a ticket and I am so ridiculously excited!

And I am seeing Simon Amstell on Sunday so that should be awesome!

However right now- i really really want to eat Pumpkin Pie. Or Peach Cobbler. Maybe not eat them. Maybe they could just be giant, delicious smelling dessert friends. On a similar note I have been thinking about anthropomorphic marshmallows a lot recently (…because that is what The Flaming Lips remind me of. it is a perfectly reasonable thought). Seriously just having a giant pink marshmallow would be amazing right now. I bet they like popping bubble wrap- that just seems very marshmallowy.

Anyway…i’m probably more tired than i realise if i’m typing that kind of thing so goodnight all!

Just some work avoidance

Again just posting blogs randomly instead of working!

This time: I’m avoiding English! Who knows what I will be avoiding next? (probably more english actually but for my other teacher) (oh i also have some work for general studies but who on earth cares about that)

I have instead spent most of the evening making cups of tea and watching Richard III. I just finished reading Richard III so this meant my dad had to go get 2 film versions of it and get me some helpful biographies. There is too much Richard in my life. (not like I mind, but now all my thoughts are being spoken by Laurence Olivier being Richard. Not good. So not good). Speaking of the film: it is annoying because they mix up scenes, the actress who plays Anne is terrible (though I was distracted during her scenes by my mother yelling “Killlllll hiiiiim Anne! Killll hiiim noooow!”) and they add in extra lines but I can forgive them because sometimes stuff needs more explaining (especially when everyone has the same name and sometimes gets referred to by title or name randomly) and also because who really cares about accuracy when Laurence Olivier is sporting some really bitchin’ hats. (here is a comic about Richard III! I love Kate Beaton’s stuff. She is the only reason I know anything about Canada)

Anyway- I finished reading a Streetcar Named Desire today. It feels too short! I also just feel annoyed at it in general because today in class we did a little brainstorm about the verb “flirt”. Seriously. AS Level English. “To flirt”-Is Blanche flirting? What does flirting really involve? Would you say flirting requires confidence?  (my notes on this just read “woe is me”). I much preferred drawing sketches of Trimalchio’s tomb in Class Civ. Trimalchio’s (hypothetical) tomb is so crazy what with its massive size, sundial (“ahah! so everyone who needs to know the time must read my name!”- that is actually just…horribly pathetic), freedman constantly on guard and the pictures of men scattering money and boys crying over broken vases.

Anyway. Tomorrow my main task is to buy milk! Exciting.

It has numbers! It must make sense!

Gosh (i’m pretty sure i never say gosh in the real world…) I am sorry for not updating. I will do things with numbers so I feel more organised.

  1. I have now been back at school for over a week and it is all a bit crazy and ridiculous and we can wear our own clothes (this makes Suga even more adorable *hug*) and drink tea (much thanks to Imogen for being the provider of the milk) and hang out in the 6th form centre. We also had some injections (you know, just randomly). Yaaaay.
  2. I take History: the side effects of this include making rhymes about Richard III being a mound of cheese (because he was the Duke of Gloucester) (…I quite like Richard III which makes me feel guilty) and frantically writing things like “Edward III had four sons! Hive five!” or “they believed in Jewspiracies!” (a fun word which saves time when note writing about nationalists) (ooh plus when you spell check it it asks if you meant “Jew Piracies” which is a fun idea!) and illustrating everything with stick figures (really fun when they have crazy 19th century facial hair) which is why i should never be allowed to make my own notes. Actually I should not be allowed to do most things. Last friday we had history in an IT room so me and Emily (a new girl to the school in all my lessons: we have been bonding) spent most of history on wikipedia playing a game where if you got a person when you clicked for a random article they became your spouse (I got a Duke and a God of Thunder! She got several women and sports teams).
  3. I take English: currently studying “A Streetcar Named Desire” (my notes on this include “Marlon Brando-FIT”) and “The Reader”. Not entirely enjoying my english lessons as I don’t feel entirely in tune with my teachers (one is new, the other is so lovely as a person but i cannot stand her teaching) so this is bad 😦
  4. I have Classical Civilization as comic relief though! This is good! (what isn’t good? sitting near the one person who doesn’t get any of the sexual innuendo) (this reminds me: must read the Satyricon)
  5. Probably my favourite lesson: Philosophy. Adorable teacher and a wonderful class. However I am currently writing this to avoid doing my homework for it due in tomorrow. I am screwed.
  6. Zoe’s birthday was on Monday! She is 17! This is insane!
  7. Also on Monday: went to the Globe to see As You Like It which I thought was really good (also it had Jamie Parker in it, who plays Scripps in the history boys) and i managed to get reasonably close to the stage (forgot my glasses like an idiot).
  8. Also on Monday (according to wikipedia anyways): Patrick Swayze died! This means at some point we are going to have to have a Dirty Dancing evening! Like we needed an excuse. (i don’t care if it is ridiculous. It is great. Plus it reminds me of how last year on the school italy trip a bunch of us would crowd into a small hotel room to watch it on someones portable dvd player. Ridiculously girly yet fun times)
  9. I have banana read and bits of a cookie! Yay! (okay i know i had more things to write about…)
  10. Tookey! That’s it. On saturday I went back to Tookey’s house (but not before buying some bitchin’ Wonderwomen underwear) and went out to a great Nepalese place  to celebrate her birthday with her family (and her sister’s boyfriend. He makes good paper planes and swishes his wine around before he drinks it like a proper person). We watched most of 30 Rock season 2 on her projector screen in the attic (!!! Everything is so much better on a projector. It even makes Alec Baldwin seem sexy)

10? Ten is a good number for now.


Okay I suck at updating my blog. Sorry. I spent a week at Sea Ranch which is on the coast and there is really not much to do there apart from coastal walks and reading. I found this great tree overlooking the beach to read in (and everyone who walked by would be all “nice spot you’ve got there”). The beaches themselves are kinda creepy because there is lots of monstrous seaweed surrounded by flies and we even saw a dead seal being eaten by buzzards and the water is shark infested and the starfish look like evil, plotting starfish…basically just man-eating beaches.So instead you might go to the swimming pool where everything is safe and sound and old people feel safe to do water aerobics. This was like the on year where I was not forced to go to “Art in the Redwoods” which is the butt of many family jokes, instead I hung out with my Uncle (so for one day I knew everything happening in the PGA Golf Tournament). It was really nice to see my Uncle, Aunt and Cousin Zoe (who is off to Burning Man, as she said, “to do acid in the desert for a week”. On our quest for cream cheese she told me to I had to try shrooms (that…sounds like a line from some weird indie song). She also went to Amesterdam recently and so my grandmother asked her “is marijuana nice?”. Can you spot a theme here?).

Me and Zoe also went with a group to go horseriding on the beach. Okay anyone who knows me will now be laughing at loud at the idea of me on a horse. Especially my horse, Cherokee, who had beef with all the other horses. I was constantly whispering to her being all “noooo don’t bite that horse you are such a pretty horse, such a good horse!” and eventually losing my patience and whispering threats at her. Eventually I just stopped whispering (because I sounded a bit razed) and just started thinking about Far from the Madding Crowd because I was thinking about Bathsheba like when Gabriel first sees her leaning back on her horse…and Troy re-enacting Dick Turpin’s famous ride on his horse Black Bess…then i started thinking about Teddy Roosevelt for like…no reason at all. I think about presidents just like way way too often (like Presidents and Star Trek. I’m pretty sure there is an episode where the Enterprise run into Lincoln, which is clearly just the best merging ever. I was talking to the son of one of my friends year old about the Star Trek movie tonight. He is a 9 year old boy. I was more excited about it than he was. And he was pretty excited though he thinks that the scene with Kirk and Gaila is inappropriate which I think is hilarious) (it’s weird how those like minor minor characters like Gaila and Cupcake are huge on the internet, but that’s totally understandable. One is Green. One is fat. They should totally host an intergalatic chat show).

Anyway. The day after we got back me and my brothers went to Raging Waters, which is this waterpark like next to where California State Fair is being held. So that’s always fun and kinda tiring. But what was really awesome was that yesterday we went white water rafting on the South Fork of the the American River. Oh my god so fun! Plus our raft guide Will was always willing to do the more dangerous things and letting us swim in rapids (which is, dare i say it, totally awesome). He was very happy that he didn’t have to be the guide for the group of Boy Scouts. It is such a beautiful place, plus you can go past the site where gold was first found in California and you can see some of the path the Pony Express used to take. The rapids are mainly class 3 and there are lots of them at this time of year so yeah, today I was kind of tired (actually i woke up at around lunch time and had a hot dog wrapped in bacon for breakfast. America is crazy).

Today was more relaxed, we had some friends and family over and that was really nice. It was really good to see my great Aunt Silviya because she has been in hospital for ages recovering from chemotherapy and so today was the first time she has actually been up and about (yeah and she still made us cookies. Because she is awesome like that). She is the only 76 year old I know who can pull off a funky pink bandana.

So yeah, then we ate dinner at some really good mexican place and now I am going to have to let my brother on the computer.

(okay this is just a bracket to say: Hello Suga! You mention me in your blog and it always makes me smile to be in your tags! I will go listen to “Sugar Sugar” in your honour)

“Naaarg” is the new “blerrrg”

Ahah! I do have stuff to report. We came back from Tahoe on tuesday pretty exhausted. While up in Tahoe I did two awesome things: Para-sailing and Ice Skating. Para-sailing in Lake Tahoe was great, just me and my brothers 1400 feet in the air chillin’ out max and relaxin’ all cool…though before we got hoisted back into the boat we did get dipped into the water (which is kinda scary because it was all “the water is getting closer! It is so close! ARH WE ARE GOING TO FALL INTO IT!”).

"Take a picture, trick, I'm on a boat, bitch"
“Take a picture, trick, I’m on a boat, bitch”

The lake itself was really warm, and nicer in some ways than being in the sea because it isn’t salty (though my mum is kinda scared by it because she has “read in some book” that there are parts of the lake where they have not found the bottom. Ooooh). But of course going swimming with my brother ben means basically an hour or so spent trying to drown each other which probably weirded out the ridiculously american and healthy looking people on the beach (seriously. there were these walking stereotypes playing volleyball and drinking Budweiser). Anyway, fortunately we didn’t swim in Lake Donner which actually has warning signs which was “Warning-Xtreme Cold” which my dad ignores.

I didn’t have a blog last time I was in America but I’m pretty sure I told everyone I know how I went Ice Skating at 8000 feet up at the Olympic Ice Rink at Squaw Valley. It is just really beautiful up there especially at sunset when you can see the Lake and the Mountains (and it is actually cheaper to go up there at that time so that’s a plus) and hardly anyone is there…oh wait NO because suddenly a large group of American chavs invaded the rink. Grrr. Ah well, it was fun while it lasted (ice skating is good. Ice skating with ‘Super Freak’ playing in the background is awesome).  You do have to table car up there and back which is pretty freaky.

I'm in a cable car motherfucker (...?)

I'm in a cable car motherfucker (...?)

(by the way i am apparently missing out on cheese and nibbles. oh well. I just learnt how to punch a shark. Thanks youtube!) (i really should watch Shark Week. it looks awesome).

Anyway, Tahoe is pretty and all but mostly we stayed inside reading. I finished Pompeii by Robert Harris because I have to read it for class civ. next year and oh my god I just hate everyone in that book. (funnily enough, this is the one book I have ever heard my chemistry teacher say he likes. This is just further evidence that my chemistry teacher should be under permanent house-arrest with no internet access so he cannot share his dangerous ideas to the world) (oh my, i just realised he isn’t my chemistry teacher anymore!).

To spice things up a little (there is a phrase I never thought i would write. I can just see myself in 30 years time writing that in a family christmas letter about a trip to a glue making factory or something) when we got back we went to Berkeley! Aarh I am half annoyed and half happy that I got their last signed copy of David Eggers latest book at Moe’s Bookstore. Happy because that is awesome, unhappy because the reason they had signed copies is that Eggers was doing a talk there last week (which I could have gone to) and he isn’t doing anymore at the moment. Gah. Anyway, I also bought an issue of McSweeney’s, an album by the Silver Jews (American Water, i think it is considered their best. Incidentally, McSweeney’s once featured some of David Berman’s poetry. Clearly Dave Eggers is actually to awesome to function) and a Rasputin Music t-shirt. Yes, you read that correctly. I have Gregory fucking Rasputin on a shirt (which claims that he is a “Profligate. Panderer. Prophet. The Protomartyr of Punk“). We also had some bitchin’ sandwiches for lunch. And by “bitchin'” i mean they were really huge and tasted amazing and were made with fresh and tasty produce.

Err since then…not much. My mum went to LA and has since returned (she saw Britney Spears. Apparently she looked like a tramp. How suprising). I have awakwardly watched some Jon Stewart with my grandma. Gah. Very awkward trying not to laugh at Judd Apatow and Jon Stewart’s funny banter about masturbation and penis jokes in front of your grandma. Oh my god there was the most ridiculous clip of some anti-health care nonsense by some republican dude (who is called Chuck. that is always a bad sign) which you can find here because wordpress is a bitch who let me insert the video here. I also went to the Betty Crocker art museum to view some ceramics by female Japanese artists, which was…just really really boring…so I imagined what it would be like to take over the house, destroy the new extension they are adding and live a fantasy 18th century lifestyle and host magnificent balls in their kick-ass ballroom (apparently all their Crocker family were pretty awesome back in the day). Secret evil desires brighten up anything (as I’m sure Fia knows). It was stupidly hot today so i spent most of it in the pool instead of the original plan which was to go see Buddhists perform a Michael Jackson tribute (if anyone is seriously interested, I’m pretty sure i can find some poor-quality videos of it). That is about it (oh, actually I did go to the mall. I went to Macy’s. *shudder*). I will be going into San Francisco tomorrow so hopefully I’ll have something interesting to say about it.

(but i probably will not have any news because it is so boring I even picked up the newspaper. I was rewarded with an article about how totally awesome Bill Clinton is for getting those two journalists back from North Korea. gah! love so much!) (also love this thing about whether Bill is more Bond or McClane) (McClane could so kick Bond’s ass any day)

I also come in list form!

This is a quick list of things I have become since my last update:

  • Excellent: According to my work experience supervisor I was most excellent. At everything. I rock at being the awkward museum assistant.
  • A party animal: It was Hannah’s birthday party last friday which was fun (even though lots of people couldn’t make it 😦 ) and we ate pizza whilst sitting on the kitchen floor (FLOOR LOVE!), ate this amazing cake Hannah made which was chocolate and honey and had freakin’ marzipan bees on top. With wings made of almonds. We played “most likely to…” which is a game where someone asks who is most likely to do something and we all point at that person. It was especially amusing this time because Scarlet was meeting some of the people for the first time and so we got to find out her first impressions of everyone. I like Hannah’s house. It is all hectic and crazy, even more so then because they were leaving for Dorset the next morning. So yes: an excellent time was had by all.
  • The Nerdiest Nerd of all Nerdtania! (which is a kingdom of nerds separate from Nerdfighteria because it is unrelated to Nerdfighters, but still just as awesome). Which is something I said after I persuaded my mother to pre-order a personalised copy of the latest Doctor McNinja book….so this will be like the first official actual comic book I own. And it is like a collection of my favourite story lines. I mean, how could something called “Operation Dracula! From Outer Space!” be bad? Featuring zombies, ghosts, vampires, robots and robot bears! But yes: I am a ridiculously nerdy fangirl. I would be feeling awkward, but fortunately John Green posted that video about how great it is how nerds can be all enthusiastic in a non-ironic way! So yays! I cannot wait to get my hands on my book and read the never before seen comic giving us some Beeman back story! (even if it might not top Gordito’s back story. Nothing can top having your sharpshooting-trapeze artist father being mauled to death by wild animals during one of his stunts and then growing a huge moustache afterwards by sheer willpower)  
  • (oh one second Chris Hastings: I have a bone to pick with you! Your comic made me answer a trivial pursuit question incorrectly because I could remember Dan saying “oh yeah- storing up the poison in my eyes. TO shoot out like a toad” then forgot the alt. text saying “yeah I know those toads store blood not poison…”) (okay i guess that is my fault for not remembering stuff. But I hope this bracket makes people wonder who Dan is- and why the fuck he is storing poison in his eyes)
  • A movie-goer: Today I saw Harry Potter 6 at the cinema with Tookey and Jess (we had popcorn and everything) which was simply hilarious. All the accidental innuendos! The “sexual tension” between Ginny and Harry! The whole Ron&Lavender thing! Snape being all swishy! (seriously: I’m not sure i noticed how swishy his was before. Man, I could watch him swish around being all dark and moody all day…)
  • A friend of Trudy on myspace: this unfortunately means I now have 70 friends, instead of 69 (which yes,did amuse me every time i logged in). They only have one track up now but hopefully they should have more soon! So yes click on me!
  • A fan of “The Prisoner of Zenda” which I finished reading yesterday which was good, swashbuckling adventure fun (now i need to read the sequel). I don’t read adventure novels very often, they are quite relaxing in some way. I now really want to read The Three Musketeers. Which i have listened to a zillion times on audiotape when I was younger (also: love love the 1973 film. Also: seen it on stage. Which also rocked), but never actually read. (should probably also read the Count of Monte Cristo. just because).
  • An even bigger fan of my DFTBA cd: I just realised I met Tom Milsom at the Nerdfighter gathering. He offered me a caramel waffle, which i refused because i had also been given a bag of waffles. Tom: i wish i had taken a waffle. a) because later in the day i became really hungry and b) because you rock. And it would make a good story if i could say i have eaten a waffle offered to me by someone who rocks. (you may have noticed that most of my stories are quite boring)
  • Someone who really loves the song “Super Stupid” by Funkadelic (off the album “Maggot Brain”. The names only get weirder the more i dig through their back catalogues). Which is more crazy rockin’ out music than funk music. Or maybe just crazy music. Either way I like it (oh: the people in my head also like it. Um, the people have been at a bit of a loose end recently so all this randomness is happening. Like now for some reason Donald Sutherland lives in our building and raises pigeons on the roof. Only it is like a gay Donal Sutherland from Georgia named Jeffery. Because I find Sutherland and Georgia really comforting. So they needed to be in my head). (and on a separate storyline in my head there is lots of knitting).
  • A matchmaker of radios: As you may know, I love Ringo- my radio. Ringo lives on my bed. Ringo has never left my room after i first took him in here. Ringo would probably know me better than anyone…if he wasn’t you know…a radio. Unfortunately, my old friend is not working as well as he used to but i can’t get a new radio in case he gets all jealous. Jess (who has recovered from swine flu people! yays!) had the totally amazing idea of buying the new radio as Ringo’s girlfriend. Who we have decided to name Dolly, after Dolly Parton. So, as Jess said, she needs to have a large pair of speakers.


(completely unrelated to anything and if we are friends on facebook you would already know that, according to his facebook, The Princess Bride is one of Bill Clinton’s favourite films. I hope he isn’t lying, because that just made me so ridiculously happy)

Attack of the overly Long Blog Posts! Showing Now!

Lots has been happening this week! Which might take a while to recount because i could get sidetracked because this blog is being powered by lots and lots of strawberry fruitellas (which is apparently the british starburst? who cares. thanks to the friendly cashier dude i bought a 4 pack and need more more more). Anyway, transport your mind back to last Sunday because that is when i had my birthday party. Which I didn’t really have a plan for because it would be too expensive to have like a real party (movie tickets! what is wrong with you Odeon!?!) andit is kinda hard to find one thing we all want to do. So we just rolled with it. The result was me, Hannah, Jess, Divya, Imogen, Zoe, Fia, Tookey and Suga crammed into my garage trying to play ping-pong with 3 bats, books, a spade (Imogen. why do i think she is sane?) and a biscuit tin lid (Divya was actually pretty skilled with that).

Why do I let these people into my house?

Why do I let these people into my house?


Wait, why am I allowed out of my house?

Wait, why am I allowed out of my house?

Then we ate fooooood (traditionally at my house we have to eat smiley faces and sausage rolls. and drink rootbeer. I think i managed to convert the Tookster and Suga to the Rootbeer cause) (oh- Tookey’s parents told her not to get drunk at my house with all us year 11s. I feel like i live in some badass house of sin or something) (not like rootbeer is alcoholic. just so so good). We also did the trek to blockbusters (also traditionally) and spent forever trying to rent movies we all liked (yeah the arguing at this point is also traditional. I mean, tackling Tookey wasn’t really necessary but it was very fun). We ended up watching Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist…we rented some other movies which we didn’t watch (oh well….it left time for us to watch The Princess Bride. Which was my plan all along muhahahahaha). Talking late into the night about randomness which was interesting because Tookey has not been subject to sleepover interrogation before. Or Imogen-Interrogation in the form of tennis ball truths etc. Terrifying but the Tookster handled it well. I also revealed that i have a fetish for purple men dressed as oxen who want to plough me (…i could explain this. but do you really want me to?) (note for your mental images: there is headbutting involved) (note to my mother, who has recently discovered facebook and may become good at internet-stalking in the future: it was a joke. A weird game of make believe) (shifting the attention off of myself…surely the best quote of the evening must have been zoe saying “hey! my spit looks like africa!”)

Oh present wise…Zoe gave me a book about Charles Manson (thanks for that), Jess gave me a book about a serial killer and the DVD of The Prince and Me 2 (…weirdest gift combo ever?) (oh she also gave me an awesome card. With a drawing of Rufus Wainwright on it. Wearing lederhosen. Tennis lederhosen) and Hannah gave me a book about some crazy dude (hey is there like a theme here?) (no the book looks really good.  It is called Cockroach by Rawi Hage). Suga gave me money (she didn’t get me a book because she thinks i am “so well read” and she also wrote in her card that she hopes i “don’t get something that convinces you that i am an assassin”. Suga is so adorable. She even called my room magical ♥) (Divya complained that my room had porn in it. It is a Toulouse-Lautrec painting! A painting of a hooker yes, but not a saucy one). Fia gave me a DVD of Labyrinth (squeee!) (oh, fia gets confused when i use non-words (like blerg. or flaaaargn. or smehneh etc.), so to translate: i was excited) and Divya gave me a DVD of Mona Lise Smile which I have never seen. Tookey gave me 2 Books: Gulliver’s Travels and the Prisoner of Zenda (my dad got excited because he has always wanted to read it because he has a nostalgic thing about the 1937 film and is always outraged that this version is never shown on TV) and Jeff Buckley’s CD Grace. I haven’t listened to it yet because….

I have been too busy listening to DFTBA Records: Volume One! A present from Imogen so awesome it comes from overseas, the envelope was decorated with stars and it gets it’s own little paragraph because I love it so much. I have been listening to it constantly. Favourites: “The Anglerfish Song” by Hank Green because it has to be the catchiest song ever, “Can’t” by Alan Lastufka 6 and Tom Milsom because i love the use of the inkjet printer noise for percussion and the tune makes me want to the macarena robot style, “Exterminate, Regenerate” by Chameleon Circuit which i have already given much love to, “In the Absence of Christmas” by Charlie McDonnell because it crazy original and yes, a little sad but in a good way (oh hey- did anyone get that Charlie was the inspiration for the whole “purple-oxen-men” comment? so yes: i am sorry Charlie that that is what happens to you in my head. So sorry), “Porphyrophobia” by Tom Milsom (damn this list is long), “The Nonsense Song” by Michael Aranda gets on my favourites probably because i just love the idea of a magic grilled cheese sandwich and finally “I Pity the Fu” by Molly Lewis because it is a song about Mr T. Accompanied by the ukulele. With some kick-ass lyrics. (plus Molly Lewis is a Coulton fan so of course she is going to be awesome and write songs with crazy lyrics)

Aaarh so anyway that was fun. But then work experience had to begin sometime so i have been kicking it old-school shall we say with the Museum of London Early History Department. Hell yeah. I got to label pieces of prehistoric flint baby. And an assortment of random artifacts (you can see my labelling skills if you ever go and like handle the the broken pots and animal bones. Or flint from box 3, flints from number 189-284) (yes i did label 95 rocks. And yeah that involves coating them in nail varnish. And yes i did end up spilling ink all over the carpet on my first day but who cares because i can pretend i am an awesome archaeologist lady). What was actually cool was going into the basement and going through drawers of Medieval ironwork because the senior curator who specialises in Medieval stuff is retiring (he knows so much it was so scary, but he is really nice) and so the other curators are trying to “download his brain” before he leaves. Drawers and drawers of badges, rings, brooches, stuff-which-is-linked-to-Thomas-Beckett (the dude clearly got around…his…blacksmiths?) and horse-stuff (spurs: have more potential for innuendo than i would have thought) and lots of keys (they also are also apparently overflowing with spoons. Kinda like my spoon drawer. Spoons are evil dammit).

Oh you know what else i did? I investigated a pottery fragment and for one afternoon became an expert in pottery marks and dived into the mysterious world of heraldry. Oh my god why on earth do people write books about pottery? Are these people actually alive? Now Heraldry. It is just insane. These people are insane. All the crazy terminology and symbolism and rules! It could be fascinating if it wasn’t so damn scary. I mean you could fill a book, in fact there are probably too many books, about the rules about Coats of Arms for illegitimate children. And what happens to the Coat of Arms if, like with John of Gaunt’s and Katherine Swynford’s children, they become legitimate. Aaarh.

It is also my job to design an activity sheet for small children about the River Thames. Throughout the fucking ages. So i had to go through all the galleries and write down anything about the Thames (easier than i thought until i hit 1558-1666. Our paths cross again Mr Cromwell. But this, i have the advantage. Because i have a clipboard andyou are behind a display case. Suck on that bitch). Okay, i actually had some fun coming up with questions and trying to be “fun”. (i did entertain a fantasy that it was future me, who owns a time machine, who threw all this stuff into the Thames, just so i had more questions to ask. I mean, stealing viking swords and carving curses into tablets in latin would be awesome). So if you like to feel smart by doing easy quizzes, come to the Museum on August 1st or 2nd and pick up a sheet.

The Museum is nice, i get tea and high-quality biscuits and everyone is lovely to me. Plus i get like a badge to beep myself in and out of security doors. It feels kinda cool (it would be cooler if the staff entrance to the office section wasn’t next to the toilets).

In other news: Tookey lent me season 1 of 30 Rock and I am enjoying it, i have been wearing lots of skirts this week and i think i like it, i only got1/5 when Charlie presented Truth and Fail so i should have to upload a video of me doing the macarena backwards (the question i got right is the one about William Shakespeare’s will because i always remember how everyone makes a point of saying “second best bed”), tomorrow is Hannah’s birthday party so hopefully that should be fun and this is also the only time i see Hannah’s outside school friends Ella and Scarlett (which is a shame because they are both so nice and they are probably more up to date on Ellen-in-jokes than Ellen is) (unfortunately Ellen couldn’t make it to my party because she was seeing Lang-Lang in concert).

IN MAJORLY IMPORTANT NEWS Jess has swine flu. So warm fuzzies for Jess, even if she might not appreciate them because having swine flu makes her grumpy. But still she may finally update her blog (oh she actually did the early hours of yesterday! go Jess!) so you should check it out (link the sidebar!) if you want to wish her well/angry ladies turn you on.

(oh God in a post around the same length as some of my english essays i actually missed stuff out. Notably: i finally finished The Portrait of a Lady after an embarresingly long time. I was not entirely happy with the ending. Then read all of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows one night because Imogen challenged me and i am sick of being shown up in front of other nerds. I did like it, more than Half-Blood Prince I think, but yeah…I agree the epilogue sucks majorly.  Not sure what I am going to read next. But it is likely it will feature creepy people).

Happy Tesla Day!

I’m sure if you have been on google today (and who hasn’t?) you will have noticed that today is the anniversary of Nikola Tesla’s birth. Now I hate physics. But i think Tesla himself was rather adorable (actually i think i have already mentioned this. yeah, i definitely remember posting something about wanting to be his personal moustache groomer). This is possibly because he was kinda insane and became obsessed with one of his pigeons(so maybe today everyone should be really nice to pigeons in his honour? i mean feel free to try and kill them every other day…)  and claimed to have invented some kind of death ray (he was also friends with Mark Twain which would be cool. I really want to read this graphic novel where they team up to defeat Thomas Edison) (oh see now Twain and Tesla are having some kind of free-style rap contest with Edison in my head. Not entirely sure why. But see Tesla once said whilst demonstrating something “see my motor here; watch me reverse it” which sounds like he is actually doing some crazy hip-hop thing. Dammit maybe even a hip hop thang). (Plus Bowie once played Tesla in a film. surely that makes him cool?) (….GAH Twain, Tesla and Bowie singing in my head. Edison looking on all moodily)

I don't even know if that is Tesla, but it is awesome

I don't even know if that is Tesla, but it is awesome

Anyway not much is happening for me tonight. Err tonight is actually  Prom night so most people are constantly facebooking about trying to get ready for that, but I’m not going (which only makes me feel nerdier because i watched the episode Spock’s Brain yesterday and now find that even typing the word brain makes me laugh. “Take…take him where?” “In search of his brain, doctor”. Probably the most hilariously awful thing i have ever seen). Though tomorrow I’m having some rather late birthday celebrations (nothing is actually planned, I’m just throwing together some friends, food and films and seeing what happens) which should hopefully be fun.

I am going to attempt some music news:

  • Funk: i am not sure why my brother, who reads Pitchfork and loves Animal Collective, has downloaded a lot of funk but he has. Maybe he has some kind of crush on George Clinton because all he  just downloaded Parliament, Funkadelic and yes, Parliament-Funkadelic along with Clinton’s solo work (it would be funny if he we both had creepy crushes on Clintons). Groovy bass lines and lyrics ranging from generic (don’t worry about being right just be for real!) to weird ad libs (…yeah just the whole of Atomic Dog. I don’t know what it means but it is indeed funky) makes it fun to listen to
  • Transmittens: the most ridiculously cute sounding pop music, i downloaded some of their free tracks off and do enjoy it when they pop up on shuffle but not what i usually like
  • Music from my childhood: well I’ll be damned. Fred, friend of aforementioned indie-fucktard brother, has already beaten me to blogging about this. He even included Aqua dammit! Though the similarity ends there (well apart from with Afroman. But who doesn’t love Afroman?) because when i was younger i didn’t have my trusty radio or the internet or friends with even a little bit of taste. So actually the music i loved was from musicals or stuff played at the school disco. But there was one totally amazing song (which i have had stuck in my head recently) which Fred missed. One song which just made everything that much more awesome. One totally ridiculous song with an appalling, yet presumably intentional, spelling mistake in the title. Hot in Herre.

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