“Naaarg” is the new “blerrrg”

Ahah! I do have stuff to report. We came back from Tahoe on tuesday pretty exhausted. While up in Tahoe I did two awesome things: Para-sailing and Ice Skating. Para-sailing in Lake Tahoe was great, just me and my brothers 1400 feet in the air chillin’ out max and relaxin’ all cool…though before we got hoisted back into the boat we did get dipped into the water (which is kinda scary because it was all “the water is getting closer! It is so close! ARH WE ARE GOING TO FALL INTO IT!”).

"Take a picture, trick, I'm on a boat, bitch"
“Take a picture, trick, I’m on a boat, bitch”

The lake itself was really warm, and nicer in some ways than being in the sea because it isn’t salty (though my mum is kinda scared by it because she has “read in some book” that there are parts of the lake where they have not found the bottom. Ooooh). But of course going swimming with my brother ben means basically an hour or so spent trying to drown each other which probably weirded out the ridiculously american and healthy looking people on the beach (seriously. there were these walking stereotypes playing volleyball and drinking Budweiser). Anyway, fortunately we didn’t swim in Lake Donner which actually has warning signs which was “Warning-Xtreme Cold” which my dad ignores.

I didn’t have a blog last time I was in America but I’m pretty sure I told everyone I know how I went Ice Skating at 8000 feet up at the Olympic Ice Rink at Squaw Valley. It is just really beautiful up there especially at sunset when you can see the Lake and the Mountains (and it is actually cheaper to go up there at that time so that’s a plus) and hardly anyone is there…oh wait NO because suddenly a large group of American chavs invaded the rink. Grrr. Ah well, it was fun while it lasted (ice skating is good. Ice skating with ‘Super Freak’ playing in the background is awesome).  You do have to table car up there and back which is pretty freaky.

I'm in a cable car motherfucker (...?)

I'm in a cable car motherfucker (...?)

(by the way i am apparently missing out on cheese and nibbles. oh well. I just learnt how to punch a shark. Thanks youtube!) (i really should watch Shark Week. it looks awesome).

Anyway, Tahoe is pretty and all but mostly we stayed inside reading. I finished Pompeii by Robert Harris because I have to read it for class civ. next year and oh my god I just hate everyone in that book. (funnily enough, this is the one book I have ever heard my chemistry teacher say he likes. This is just further evidence that my chemistry teacher should be under permanent house-arrest with no internet access so he cannot share his dangerous ideas to the world) (oh my, i just realised he isn’t my chemistry teacher anymore!).

To spice things up a little (there is a phrase I never thought i would write. I can just see myself in 30 years time writing that in a family christmas letter about a trip to a glue making factory or something) when we got back we went to Berkeley! Aarh I am half annoyed and half happy that I got their last signed copy of David Eggers latest book at Moe’s Bookstore. Happy because that is awesome, unhappy because the reason they had signed copies is that Eggers was doing a talk there last week (which I could have gone to) and he isn’t doing anymore at the moment. Gah. Anyway, I also bought an issue of McSweeney’s, an album by the Silver Jews (American Water, i think it is considered their best. Incidentally, McSweeney’s once featured some of David Berman’s poetry. Clearly Dave Eggers is actually to awesome to function) and a Rasputin Music t-shirt. Yes, you read that correctly. I have Gregory fucking Rasputin on a shirt (which claims that he is a “Profligate. Panderer. Prophet. The Protomartyr of Punk“). We also had some bitchin’ sandwiches for lunch. And by “bitchin'” i mean they were really huge and tasted amazing and were made with fresh and tasty produce.

Err since then…not much. My mum went to LA and has since returned (she saw Britney Spears. Apparently she looked like a tramp. How suprising). I have awakwardly watched some Jon Stewart with my grandma. Gah. Very awkward trying not to laugh at Judd Apatow and Jon Stewart’s funny banter about masturbation and penis jokes in front of your grandma. Oh my god there was the most ridiculous clip of some anti-health care nonsense by some republican dude (who is called Chuck. that is always a bad sign) which you can find here because wordpress is a bitch who let me insert the video here. I also went to the Betty Crocker art museum to view some ceramics by female Japanese artists, which was…just really really boring…so I imagined what it would be like to take over the house, destroy the new extension they are adding and live a fantasy 18th century lifestyle and host magnificent balls in their kick-ass ballroom (apparently all their Crocker family were pretty awesome back in the day). Secret evil desires brighten up anything (as I’m sure Fia knows). It was stupidly hot today so i spent most of it in the pool instead of the original plan which was to go see Buddhists perform a Michael Jackson tribute (if anyone is seriously interested, I’m pretty sure i can find some poor-quality videos of it). That is about it (oh, actually I did go to the mall. I went to Macy’s. *shudder*). I will be going into San Francisco tomorrow so hopefully I’ll have something interesting to say about it.

(but i probably will not have any news because it is so boring I even picked up the newspaper. I was rewarded with an article about how totally awesome Bill Clinton is for getting those two journalists back from North Korea. gah! love so much!) (also love this thing about whether Bill is more Bond or McClane) (McClane could so kick Bond’s ass any day)

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