Attack of the overly Long Blog Posts! Showing Now!

Lots has been happening this week! Which might take a while to recount because i could get sidetracked because this blog is being powered by lots and lots of strawberry fruitellas (which is apparently the british starburst? who cares. thanks to the friendly cashier dude i bought a 4 pack and need more more more). Anyway, transport your mind back to last Sunday because that is when i had my birthday party. Which I didn’t really have a plan for because it would be too expensive to have like a real party (movie tickets! what is wrong with you Odeon!?!) andit is kinda hard to find one thing we all want to do. So we just rolled with it. The result was me, Hannah, Jess, Divya, Imogen, Zoe, Fia, Tookey and Suga crammed into my garage trying to play ping-pong with 3 bats, books, a spade (Imogen. why do i think she is sane?) and a biscuit tin lid (Divya was actually pretty skilled with that).

Why do I let these people into my house?

Why do I let these people into my house?

 

Wait, why am I allowed out of my house?

Wait, why am I allowed out of my house?

Then we ate fooooood (traditionally at my house we have to eat smiley faces and sausage rolls. and drink rootbeer. I think i managed to convert the Tookster and Suga to the Rootbeer cause) (oh- Tookey’s parents told her not to get drunk at my house with all us year 11s. I feel like i live in some badass house of sin or something) (not like rootbeer is alcoholic. just so so good). We also did the trek to blockbusters (also traditionally) and spent forever trying to rent movies we all liked (yeah the arguing at this point is also traditional. I mean, tackling Tookey wasn’t really necessary but it was very fun). We ended up watching Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist…we rented some other movies which we didn’t watch (oh well….it left time for us to watch The Princess Bride. Which was my plan all along muhahahahaha). Talking late into the night about randomness which was interesting because Tookey has not been subject to sleepover interrogation before. Or Imogen-Interrogation in the form of tennis ball truths etc. Terrifying but the Tookster handled it well. I also revealed that i have a fetish for purple men dressed as oxen who want to plough me (…i could explain this. but do you really want me to?) (note for your mental images: there is headbutting involved) (note to my mother, who has recently discovered facebook and may become good at internet-stalking in the future: it was a joke. A weird game of make believe) (shifting the attention off of myself…surely the best quote of the evening must have been zoe saying “hey! my spit looks like africa!”)

Oh present wise…Zoe gave me a book about Charles Manson (thanks for that), Jess gave me a book about a serial killer and the DVD of The Prince and Me 2 (…weirdest gift combo ever?) (oh she also gave me an awesome card. With a drawing of Rufus Wainwright on it. Wearing lederhosen. Tennis lederhosen) and Hannah gave me a book about some crazy dude (hey is there like a theme here?) (no the book looks really good.  It is called Cockroach by Rawi Hage). Suga gave me money (she didn’t get me a book because she thinks i am “so well read” and she also wrote in her card that she hopes i “don’t get something that convinces you that i am an assassin”. Suga is so adorable. She even called my room magical ♥) (Divya complained that my room had porn in it. It is a Toulouse-Lautrec painting! A painting of a hooker yes, but not a saucy one). Fia gave me a DVD of Labyrinth (squeee!) (oh, fia gets confused when i use non-words (like blerg. or flaaaargn. or smehneh etc.), so to translate: i was excited) and Divya gave me a DVD of Mona Lise Smile which I have never seen. Tookey gave me 2 Books: Gulliver’s Travels and the Prisoner of Zenda (my dad got excited because he has always wanted to read it because he has a nostalgic thing about the 1937 film and is always outraged that this version is never shown on TV) and Jeff Buckley’s CD Grace. I haven’t listened to it yet because….

I have been too busy listening to DFTBA Records: Volume One! A present from Imogen so awesome it comes from overseas, the envelope was decorated with stars and it gets it’s own little paragraph because I love it so much. I have been listening to it constantly. Favourites: “The Anglerfish Song” by Hank Green because it has to be the catchiest song ever, “Can’t” by Alan Lastufka 6 and Tom Milsom because i love the use of the inkjet printer noise for percussion and the tune makes me want to the macarena robot style, “Exterminate, Regenerate” by Chameleon Circuit which i have already given much love to, “In the Absence of Christmas” by Charlie McDonnell because it crazy original and yes, a little sad but in a good way (oh hey- did anyone get that Charlie was the inspiration for the whole “purple-oxen-men” comment? so yes: i am sorry Charlie that that is what happens to you in my head. So sorry), “Porphyrophobia” by Tom Milsom (damn this list is long), “The Nonsense Song” by Michael Aranda gets on my favourites probably because i just love the idea of a magic grilled cheese sandwich and finally “I Pity the Fu” by Molly Lewis because it is a song about Mr T. Accompanied by the ukulele. With some kick-ass lyrics. (plus Molly Lewis is a Coulton fan so of course she is going to be awesome and write songs with crazy lyrics)

Aaarh so anyway that was fun. But then work experience had to begin sometime so i have been kicking it old-school shall we say with the Museum of London Early History Department. Hell yeah. I got to label pieces of prehistoric flint baby. And an assortment of random artifacts (you can see my labelling skills if you ever go and like handle the the broken pots and animal bones. Or flint from box 3, flints from number 189-284) (yes i did label 95 rocks. And yeah that involves coating them in nail varnish. And yes i did end up spilling ink all over the carpet on my first day but who cares because i can pretend i am an awesome archaeologist lady). What was actually cool was going into the basement and going through drawers of Medieval ironwork because the senior curator who specialises in Medieval stuff is retiring (he knows so much it was so scary, but he is really nice) and so the other curators are trying to “download his brain” before he leaves. Drawers and drawers of badges, rings, brooches, stuff-which-is-linked-to-Thomas-Beckett (the dude clearly got around…his…blacksmiths?) and horse-stuff (spurs: have more potential for innuendo than i would have thought) and lots of keys (they also are also apparently overflowing with spoons. Kinda like my spoon drawer. Spoons are evil dammit).

Oh you know what else i did? I investigated a pottery fragment and for one afternoon became an expert in pottery marks and dived into the mysterious world of heraldry. Oh my god why on earth do people write books about pottery? Are these people actually alive? Now Heraldry. It is just insane. These people are insane. All the crazy terminology and symbolism and rules! It could be fascinating if it wasn’t so damn scary. I mean you could fill a book, in fact there are probably too many books, about the rules about Coats of Arms for illegitimate children. And what happens to the Coat of Arms if, like with John of Gaunt’s and Katherine Swynford’s children, they become legitimate. Aaarh.

It is also my job to design an activity sheet for small children about the River Thames. Throughout the fucking ages. So i had to go through all the galleries and write down anything about the Thames (easier than i thought until i hit 1558-1666. Our paths cross again Mr Cromwell. But this, i have the advantage. Because i have a clipboard andyou are behind a display case. Suck on that bitch). Okay, i actually had some fun coming up with questions and trying to be “fun”. (i did entertain a fantasy that it was future me, who owns a time machine, who threw all this stuff into the Thames, just so i had more questions to ask. I mean, stealing viking swords and carving curses into tablets in latin would be awesome). So if you like to feel smart by doing easy quizzes, come to the Museum on August 1st or 2nd and pick up a sheet.

The Museum is nice, i get tea and high-quality biscuits and everyone is lovely to me. Plus i get like a badge to beep myself in and out of security doors. It feels kinda cool (it would be cooler if the staff entrance to the office section wasn’t next to the toilets).

In other news: Tookey lent me season 1 of 30 Rock and I am enjoying it, i have been wearing lots of skirts this week and i think i like it, i only got1/5 when Charlie presented Truth and Fail so i should have to upload a video of me doing the macarena backwards (the question i got right is the one about William Shakespeare’s will because i always remember how everyone makes a point of saying “second best bed”), tomorrow is Hannah’s birthday party so hopefully that should be fun and this is also the only time i see Hannah’s outside school friends Ella and Scarlett (which is a shame because they are both so nice and they are probably more up to date on Ellen-in-jokes than Ellen is) (unfortunately Ellen couldn’t make it to my party because she was seeing Lang-Lang in concert).

IN MAJORLY IMPORTANT NEWS Jess has swine flu. So warm fuzzies for Jess, even if she might not appreciate them because having swine flu makes her grumpy. But still she may finally update her blog (oh she actually did the early hours of yesterday! go Jess!) so you should check it out (link the sidebar!) if you want to wish her well/angry ladies turn you on.

(oh God in a post around the same length as some of my english essays i actually missed stuff out. Notably: i finally finished The Portrait of a Lady after an embarresingly long time. I was not entirely happy with the ending. Then read all of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows one night because Imogen challenged me and i am sick of being shown up in front of other nerds. I did like it, more than Half-Blood Prince I think, but yeah…I agree the epilogue sucks majorly.  Not sure what I am going to read next. But it is likely it will feature creepy people).

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