Leaving & Arriving

I am leaving for America tomorrow….so I really should be checking I have everything ready and then trying to get some sleep because I have to wake up at early tomorrow…however I am actually just doing pointless things like refreshing my facebook page every five seconds and trying to beat my highscore on Snake (which is really the only reason I have mobile). I am also looking up pictures of Karl Urban. (because he is kinda hot) (he is also 21 years older than I am. I am going to have to try and remember that). (yeah…kinda been trawling through some Live Journal stuff lately and i’m worried it is rubbing off on me. I said “karl urban is hot”. Not stuff like “need like burning”, “MOAR URBAN!”, “Karl is a total BAMF” or anything accompanied by a photo of a beaten up and collared Karl Urban from the film “The Irrefutable Truth about Demons”. seriously if i ever do that hit me)

I know I will have internet access in America, but it just feels like I wont because it is like a whole other country….and the total flight time around 14 hours (because of a stopover in Cincinnati. I don’t mind that because I love saying the name Cincinnati). Lots of packing. The only difficulty was which books to bring. I am only taking one CD, which is a mixtape Imogen made for me specifically for going to America with (because she is just awesome like that) (it is also just a really good mixtape) (…mix CD? I just prefer mixtape)

Which Imogen gave to me last Friday when we hung out in the Starbucks in Borders (rasperry+peach muffin=awesometacular) before going to all the children’s toy stores/departments in town. I love Fun Learning, the shop assistants don’t think it is weird for two teenage girls to be hanging out there. We both bought some dice and then ran around trying to find books on dice games (one day we shall become masters of Bidou! but for now we have written it off as too complicated). I also bought a Reboot!Spock action figure which is the most adorable thing ever. I love how I can just buy nerdy action figures with Imogen.

(speaking of being  a nerd: i’m going to update you on my Star Trek viewing. Sorry. Summing up:

  • “And the Children shall Lead”: Nooo! I hate creepy children! Have to agree with Nimoy that “Miri” was a way way better episode. Plus, the whole “these children kinda killed their parents” thing- just a bit too weird and creepy.
  • “Is there no truth in Beauty?”: possibly the beginnings of the rave scene with those awesome glasses and the flasy green light effects. Plus it always fun to watch people telepathically communicating with golden trash cans.
  • Spectre of the Gun: you have to be kidding me. “Hey- lets make Kirk and the gang re-enact the O.K Corrall shoot-out!” (again: just how american can this show get?!) is just a crazy idea (plus they so should have been made to wear western outfits!) and the writers have by this point forgotten the whole “mindmelds- totally personally, really don’t want to do it on humans” thing. But I am loving the Chekov in this episode- totally adorable
  • Day of the Dove: arrh! Chekov not so cute in this episode! Fair enough because that stupid alien entity made everyone go all crazy. Liked it a) because of the cheesy sword fighting b) Sulu really knows Chekov! Love! and c) it was ultimately an episode saying “racism sucks!” which is always good (Rodenberry was all “in the future shit like sexism and racism wouldn’t exist” because he was totally awesome)

Oh hello: I am actually in America now (see- i couldn’t post that blog because the internet is crazy) and trying to get used to using a Mac. Ridiculously tired throughout the trip because i decided to stay up and read Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban again (because I’m giving my spare copy to Tookey to give to people in Ghana). The flight over wasn’t that bad- the stop over in Cincinnati was nice (and by “nice” i mean: i got to eat Chili Cheese Fries. Cincinnati, according to some dude’s shirt, is the Chili Town of the USA). I did get to watch “Dragonball- Evolution” on the way over which was wonderfully awful (hopefully on the flight back i will get to watch Star Trek again because the magazine said that is one of next month’s in-flight movie) and listen repeatedly to such classics as the Ghostbusters Theme Song, Super Freak, Like a Virgin and, my personal favourite, Hoedown Throedown (okay i am listening to Chameleon Circuit right now to make up for the Miley). Uneventful day here- swimming in the pool and trying to read some more of Gulliver’s Travels (I am so bad at understanding 18th century political allegory dammit) and eating lovely lovely corn. Yes, corn. American corn is simply amazing which is one of those small things i always forget. Everything else is ridiculously familiar, it actually just feels like home. Nothing has really changed except now there are some Deborah Oropallo pictures (photos?) up on the walls where she has superimposed an image of a go-go dancer onto famous pictures of men, so they line up. It is sort of weird thing for my grandfather to like, but whatever. Ooh another nice thing is my grandfather has pretty much finished putting together his 1926 Model T Ford which he has been doing since like forever (he owns another one, but it is a smaller kind).

As soon as anything interesting happens, if it happens, i will update you. I also have to try and think of stuff to put in letters to my friends, but unfortunately I think my grandmother no longer has her awesome typewriter (not like I am any good at using it- it was just really exciting when i was younger because of the tapping noises) so they might have to be handwritten. Might try and get some sleep now…


I also come in list form!

This is a quick list of things I have become since my last update:

  • Excellent: According to my work experience supervisor I was most excellent. At everything. I rock at being the awkward museum assistant.
  • A party animal: It was Hannah’s birthday party last friday which was fun (even though lots of people couldn’t make it 😦 ) and we ate pizza whilst sitting on the kitchen floor (FLOOR LOVE!), ate this amazing cake Hannah made which was chocolate and honey and had freakin’ marzipan bees on top. With wings made of almonds. We played “most likely to…” which is a game where someone asks who is most likely to do something and we all point at that person. It was especially amusing this time because Scarlet was meeting some of the people for the first time and so we got to find out her first impressions of everyone. I like Hannah’s house. It is all hectic and crazy, even more so then because they were leaving for Dorset the next morning. So yes: an excellent time was had by all.
  • The Nerdiest Nerd of all Nerdtania! (which is a kingdom of nerds separate from Nerdfighteria because it is unrelated to Nerdfighters, but still just as awesome). Which is something I said after I persuaded my mother to pre-order a personalised copy of the latest Doctor McNinja book….so this will be like the first official actual comic book I own. And it is like a collection of my favourite story lines. I mean, how could something called “Operation Dracula! From Outer Space!” be bad? Featuring zombies, ghosts, vampires, robots and robot bears! But yes: I am a ridiculously nerdy fangirl. I would be feeling awkward, but fortunately John Green posted that video about how great it is how nerds can be all enthusiastic in a non-ironic way! So yays! I cannot wait to get my hands on my book and read the never before seen comic giving us some Beeman back story! (even if it might not top Gordito’s back story. Nothing can top having your sharpshooting-trapeze artist father being mauled to death by wild animals during one of his stunts and then growing a huge moustache afterwards by sheer willpower)  
  • (oh one second Chris Hastings: I have a bone to pick with you! Your comic made me answer a trivial pursuit question incorrectly because I could remember Dan saying “oh yeah- storing up the poison in my eyes. TO shoot out like a toad” then forgot the alt. text saying “yeah I know those toads store blood not poison…”) (okay i guess that is my fault for not remembering stuff. But I hope this bracket makes people wonder who Dan is- and why the fuck he is storing poison in his eyes)
  • A movie-goer: Today I saw Harry Potter 6 at the cinema with Tookey and Jess (we had popcorn and everything) which was simply hilarious. All the accidental innuendos! The “sexual tension” between Ginny and Harry! The whole Ron&Lavender thing! Snape being all swishy! (seriously: I’m not sure i noticed how swishy his was before. Man, I could watch him swish around being all dark and moody all day…)
  • A friend of Trudy on myspace: this unfortunately means I now have 70 friends, instead of 69 (which yes,did amuse me every time i logged in). They only have one track up now but hopefully they should have more soon! So yes click on me!
  • A fan of “The Prisoner of Zenda” which I finished reading yesterday which was good, swashbuckling adventure fun (now i need to read the sequel). I don’t read adventure novels very often, they are quite relaxing in some way. I now really want to read The Three Musketeers. Which i have listened to a zillion times on audiotape when I was younger (also: love love the 1973 film. Also: seen it on stage. Which also rocked), but never actually read. (should probably also read the Count of Monte Cristo. just because).
  • An even bigger fan of my DFTBA cd: I just realised I met Tom Milsom at the Nerdfighter gathering. He offered me a caramel waffle, which i refused because i had also been given a bag of waffles. Tom: i wish i had taken a waffle. a) because later in the day i became really hungry and b) because you rock. And it would make a good story if i could say i have eaten a waffle offered to me by someone who rocks. (you may have noticed that most of my stories are quite boring)
  • Someone who really loves the song “Super Stupid” by Funkadelic (off the album “Maggot Brain”. The names only get weirder the more i dig through their back catalogues). Which is more crazy rockin’ out music than funk music. Or maybe just crazy music. Either way I like it (oh: the people in my head also like it. Um, the people have been at a bit of a loose end recently so all this randomness is happening. Like now for some reason Donald Sutherland lives in our building and raises pigeons on the roof. Only it is like a gay Donal Sutherland from Georgia named Jeffery. Because I find Sutherland and Georgia really comforting. So they needed to be in my head). (and on a separate storyline in my head there is lots of knitting).
  • A matchmaker of radios: As you may know, I love Ringo- my radio. Ringo lives on my bed. Ringo has never left my room after i first took him in here. Ringo would probably know me better than anyone…if he wasn’t you know…a radio. Unfortunately, my old friend is not working as well as he used to but i can’t get a new radio in case he gets all jealous. Jess (who has recovered from swine flu people! yays!) had the totally amazing idea of buying the new radio as Ringo’s girlfriend. Who we have decided to name Dolly, after Dolly Parton. So, as Jess said, she needs to have a large pair of speakers.


(completely unrelated to anything and if we are friends on facebook you would already know that, according to his facebook, The Princess Bride is one of Bill Clinton’s favourite films. I hope he isn’t lying, because that just made me so ridiculously happy)

Attack of the overly Long Blog Posts! Showing Now!

Lots has been happening this week! Which might take a while to recount because i could get sidetracked because this blog is being powered by lots and lots of strawberry fruitellas (which is apparently the british starburst? who cares. thanks to the friendly cashier dude i bought a 4 pack and need more more more). Anyway, transport your mind back to last Sunday because that is when i had my birthday party. Which I didn’t really have a plan for because it would be too expensive to have like a real party (movie tickets! what is wrong with you Odeon!?!) andit is kinda hard to find one thing we all want to do. So we just rolled with it. The result was me, Hannah, Jess, Divya, Imogen, Zoe, Fia, Tookey and Suga crammed into my garage trying to play ping-pong with 3 bats, books, a spade (Imogen. why do i think she is sane?) and a biscuit tin lid (Divya was actually pretty skilled with that).

Why do I let these people into my house?

Why do I let these people into my house?


Wait, why am I allowed out of my house?

Wait, why am I allowed out of my house?

Then we ate fooooood (traditionally at my house we have to eat smiley faces and sausage rolls. and drink rootbeer. I think i managed to convert the Tookster and Suga to the Rootbeer cause) (oh- Tookey’s parents told her not to get drunk at my house with all us year 11s. I feel like i live in some badass house of sin or something) (not like rootbeer is alcoholic. just so so good). We also did the trek to blockbusters (also traditionally) and spent forever trying to rent movies we all liked (yeah the arguing at this point is also traditional. I mean, tackling Tookey wasn’t really necessary but it was very fun). We ended up watching Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist…we rented some other movies which we didn’t watch (oh well….it left time for us to watch The Princess Bride. Which was my plan all along muhahahahaha). Talking late into the night about randomness which was interesting because Tookey has not been subject to sleepover interrogation before. Or Imogen-Interrogation in the form of tennis ball truths etc. Terrifying but the Tookster handled it well. I also revealed that i have a fetish for purple men dressed as oxen who want to plough me (…i could explain this. but do you really want me to?) (note for your mental images: there is headbutting involved) (note to my mother, who has recently discovered facebook and may become good at internet-stalking in the future: it was a joke. A weird game of make believe) (shifting the attention off of myself…surely the best quote of the evening must have been zoe saying “hey! my spit looks like africa!”)

Oh present wise…Zoe gave me a book about Charles Manson (thanks for that), Jess gave me a book about a serial killer and the DVD of The Prince and Me 2 (…weirdest gift combo ever?) (oh she also gave me an awesome card. With a drawing of Rufus Wainwright on it. Wearing lederhosen. Tennis lederhosen) and Hannah gave me a book about some crazy dude (hey is there like a theme here?) (no the book looks really good.  It is called Cockroach by Rawi Hage). Suga gave me money (she didn’t get me a book because she thinks i am “so well read” and she also wrote in her card that she hopes i “don’t get something that convinces you that i am an assassin”. Suga is so adorable. She even called my room magical ♥) (Divya complained that my room had porn in it. It is a Toulouse-Lautrec painting! A painting of a hooker yes, but not a saucy one). Fia gave me a DVD of Labyrinth (squeee!) (oh, fia gets confused when i use non-words (like blerg. or flaaaargn. or smehneh etc.), so to translate: i was excited) and Divya gave me a DVD of Mona Lise Smile which I have never seen. Tookey gave me 2 Books: Gulliver’s Travels and the Prisoner of Zenda (my dad got excited because he has always wanted to read it because he has a nostalgic thing about the 1937 film and is always outraged that this version is never shown on TV) and Jeff Buckley’s CD Grace. I haven’t listened to it yet because….

I have been too busy listening to DFTBA Records: Volume One! A present from Imogen so awesome it comes from overseas, the envelope was decorated with stars and it gets it’s own little paragraph because I love it so much. I have been listening to it constantly. Favourites: “The Anglerfish Song” by Hank Green because it has to be the catchiest song ever, “Can’t” by Alan Lastufka 6 and Tom Milsom because i love the use of the inkjet printer noise for percussion and the tune makes me want to the macarena robot style, “Exterminate, Regenerate” by Chameleon Circuit which i have already given much love to, “In the Absence of Christmas” by Charlie McDonnell because it crazy original and yes, a little sad but in a good way (oh hey- did anyone get that Charlie was the inspiration for the whole “purple-oxen-men” comment? so yes: i am sorry Charlie that that is what happens to you in my head. So sorry), “Porphyrophobia” by Tom Milsom (damn this list is long), “The Nonsense Song” by Michael Aranda gets on my favourites probably because i just love the idea of a magic grilled cheese sandwich and finally “I Pity the Fu” by Molly Lewis because it is a song about Mr T. Accompanied by the ukulele. With some kick-ass lyrics. (plus Molly Lewis is a Coulton fan so of course she is going to be awesome and write songs with crazy lyrics)

Aaarh so anyway that was fun. But then work experience had to begin sometime so i have been kicking it old-school shall we say with the Museum of London Early History Department. Hell yeah. I got to label pieces of prehistoric flint baby. And an assortment of random artifacts (you can see my labelling skills if you ever go and like handle the the broken pots and animal bones. Or flint from box 3, flints from number 189-284) (yes i did label 95 rocks. And yeah that involves coating them in nail varnish. And yes i did end up spilling ink all over the carpet on my first day but who cares because i can pretend i am an awesome archaeologist lady). What was actually cool was going into the basement and going through drawers of Medieval ironwork because the senior curator who specialises in Medieval stuff is retiring (he knows so much it was so scary, but he is really nice) and so the other curators are trying to “download his brain” before he leaves. Drawers and drawers of badges, rings, brooches, stuff-which-is-linked-to-Thomas-Beckett (the dude clearly got around…his…blacksmiths?) and horse-stuff (spurs: have more potential for innuendo than i would have thought) and lots of keys (they also are also apparently overflowing with spoons. Kinda like my spoon drawer. Spoons are evil dammit).

Oh you know what else i did? I investigated a pottery fragment and for one afternoon became an expert in pottery marks and dived into the mysterious world of heraldry. Oh my god why on earth do people write books about pottery? Are these people actually alive? Now Heraldry. It is just insane. These people are insane. All the crazy terminology and symbolism and rules! It could be fascinating if it wasn’t so damn scary. I mean you could fill a book, in fact there are probably too many books, about the rules about Coats of Arms for illegitimate children. And what happens to the Coat of Arms if, like with John of Gaunt’s and Katherine Swynford’s children, they become legitimate. Aaarh.

It is also my job to design an activity sheet for small children about the River Thames. Throughout the fucking ages. So i had to go through all the galleries and write down anything about the Thames (easier than i thought until i hit 1558-1666. Our paths cross again Mr Cromwell. But this, i have the advantage. Because i have a clipboard andyou are behind a display case. Suck on that bitch). Okay, i actually had some fun coming up with questions and trying to be “fun”. (i did entertain a fantasy that it was future me, who owns a time machine, who threw all this stuff into the Thames, just so i had more questions to ask. I mean, stealing viking swords and carving curses into tablets in latin would be awesome). So if you like to feel smart by doing easy quizzes, come to the Museum on August 1st or 2nd and pick up a sheet.

The Museum is nice, i get tea and high-quality biscuits and everyone is lovely to me. Plus i get like a badge to beep myself in and out of security doors. It feels kinda cool (it would be cooler if the staff entrance to the office section wasn’t next to the toilets).

In other news: Tookey lent me season 1 of 30 Rock and I am enjoying it, i have been wearing lots of skirts this week and i think i like it, i only got1/5 when Charlie presented Truth and Fail so i should have to upload a video of me doing the macarena backwards (the question i got right is the one about William Shakespeare’s will because i always remember how everyone makes a point of saying “second best bed”), tomorrow is Hannah’s birthday party so hopefully that should be fun and this is also the only time i see Hannah’s outside school friends Ella and Scarlett (which is a shame because they are both so nice and they are probably more up to date on Ellen-in-jokes than Ellen is) (unfortunately Ellen couldn’t make it to my party because she was seeing Lang-Lang in concert).

IN MAJORLY IMPORTANT NEWS Jess has swine flu. So warm fuzzies for Jess, even if she might not appreciate them because having swine flu makes her grumpy. But still she may finally update her blog (oh she actually did the early hours of yesterday! go Jess!) so you should check it out (link the sidebar!) if you want to wish her well/angry ladies turn you on.

(oh God in a post around the same length as some of my english essays i actually missed stuff out. Notably: i finally finished The Portrait of a Lady after an embarresingly long time. I was not entirely happy with the ending. Then read all of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows one night because Imogen challenged me and i am sick of being shown up in front of other nerds. I did like it, more than Half-Blood Prince I think, but yeah…I agree the epilogue sucks majorly.  Not sure what I am going to read next. But it is likely it will feature creepy people).

Happy Tesla Day!

I’m sure if you have been on google today (and who hasn’t?) you will have noticed that today is the anniversary of Nikola Tesla’s birth. Now I hate physics. But i think Tesla himself was rather adorable (actually i think i have already mentioned this. yeah, i definitely remember posting something about wanting to be his personal moustache groomer). This is possibly because he was kinda insane and became obsessed with one of his pigeons(so maybe today everyone should be really nice to pigeons in his honour? i mean feel free to try and kill them every other day…)  and claimed to have invented some kind of death ray (he was also friends with Mark Twain which would be cool. I really want to read this graphic novel where they team up to defeat Thomas Edison) (oh see now Twain and Tesla are having some kind of free-style rap contest with Edison in my head. Not entirely sure why. But see Tesla once said whilst demonstrating something “see my motor here; watch me reverse it” which sounds like he is actually doing some crazy hip-hop thing. Dammit maybe even a hip hop thang). (Plus Bowie once played Tesla in a film. surely that makes him cool?) (….GAH Twain, Tesla and Bowie singing in my head. Edison looking on all moodily)

I don't even know if that is Tesla, but it is awesome

I don't even know if that is Tesla, but it is awesome

Anyway not much is happening for me tonight. Err tonight is actually  Prom night so most people are constantly facebooking about trying to get ready for that, but I’m not going (which only makes me feel nerdier because i watched the episode Spock’s Brain yesterday and now find that even typing the word brain makes me laugh. “Take…take him where?” “In search of his brain, doctor”. Probably the most hilariously awful thing i have ever seen). Though tomorrow I’m having some rather late birthday celebrations (nothing is actually planned, I’m just throwing together some friends, food and films and seeing what happens) which should hopefully be fun.

I am going to attempt some music news:

  • Funk: i am not sure why my brother, who reads Pitchfork and loves Animal Collective, has downloaded a lot of funk but he has. Maybe he has some kind of crush on George Clinton because all he  just downloaded Parliament, Funkadelic and yes, Parliament-Funkadelic along with Clinton’s solo work (it would be funny if he we both had creepy crushes on Clintons). Groovy bass lines and lyrics ranging from generic (don’t worry about being right just be for real!) to weird ad libs (…yeah just the whole of Atomic Dog. I don’t know what it means but it is indeed funky) makes it fun to listen to
  • Transmittens: the most ridiculously cute sounding pop music, i downloaded some of their free tracks off last.fm and do enjoy it when they pop up on shuffle but not what i usually like
  • Music from my childhood: well I’ll be damned. Fred, friend of aforementioned indie-fucktard brother, has already beaten me to blogging about this. He even included Aqua dammit! Though the similarity ends there (well apart from with Afroman. But who doesn’t love Afroman?) because when i was younger i didn’t have my trusty radio or the internet or friends with even a little bit of taste. So actually the music i loved was from musicals or stuff played at the school disco. But there was one totally amazing song (which i have had stuck in my head recently) which Fred missed. One song which just made everything that much more awesome. One totally ridiculous song with an appalling, yet presumably intentional, spelling mistake in the title. Hot in Herre.

A post so nerdy that if it were a person, it would wear plastic Spock ears everywhere. Even to bed (where it would sleep alone. So alone).

Hey ho, just another note to say that i am eating chocolate chip cookies with milk . Not entirely sure why tasty food makes me want to blog but it does (you know, i actually wrote that two days ago. I’m still eating cookies. Only this time: with tea). I don’t even have any news (still true really). Although  i did have a lovely picnic in Richmond Park with Jess (who made some awesome gingerbread. Unfortunately, gingerbread always reminds me of dictators. Possibly because i once wrote something about Stalin and Hitler made out of gingerbread…my old notebooks are filled with stuff like that), Hannah (who made delicious shortbread. Fortunately, shortbread does dot remind me of any dictators) and Fia (who bought brownie). What delightful japes we had. We laughed at Jess who was stuck in a tree for 20 minutes, climbed a tree (yeah i fail at tree-climbing. I have grazes! I’m one of the Von Trapp children!)  and sat in it whilst Jess read to us from “Pride and Prejudice and Zombies” and made phone calls to Tookey (because calling her by her first name would be boring). How ridiculously delightful.

Whilst everyone is at work experience (why am i not? because i am only doing one week. because i am an idiot) i’ve been reading (still haven’t finished Portrait of a Lady. Majorly distressed by recent huge event in book mentioned in a ridiculously casual way), listening to stupid music (more on that later) and of course surfing the internet.  I happened to stumble across the “A- Z of Awesomeness” drawn by some dude called Neill which put weird ideas into my head. They are, unsuprisingly, wonderfully geektacular. Below are some of the ones i really liked (i wanted to think of something which “SODU” could be an acronym for. But if i switched the photos around it could read “SUDO” and sudo must be something nerdy because it was mentioned on XKCD) (yeah a sudo command is some kind of computer programme used on Unix operating systems) (note: i am so happy when i understand the science/computer/maths jokes on XKCD):

It is like awesome squared!

It is like awesome squared!

Wow: it is like everything i love all in one. Star Trek, Doctor Who, senseless murder and disco dancing. Plus they are excellent ideas for fanfiction crossover stories…(hahaha. Never again. me and fanfiction just don’t mix because my writing is so egocentric. hence the blog. And what would start as a cute story about Uhura and unicorns would probably end up being a graphic description of Doctor McCoy having a threesome with those two Rigelian caberet girls in Shore Leave) (in my defence Mr Rodenberry: why would you give character the nickname “Bones” if you didn’t want people to write smut about him?) (….though actually that would be wrong as the cabaret girls are actually temporary illusions but never mind. he always has Yeoman Barrows) (you know i could go on for hours in these brackets. Thank god I am seeing people this weekend or i would go crazy).

As you can see I’ve just gone all nerd-crazy. Particularly because after watching John Green’s video about Sarah Palin resigning (i think john should get his own news channel so i would a) watch the news and b) understand it). See now that doesn’t sound too nerdy until you remember him saying he supports Chewbacca/Hans Solo for 2012. Then i immediately thought “no way! Paul Maud’Dib/Mr Spock!” because i had actually been thinking of nerdy president combinations.  *facepalm*. See that would be the combo i would choose if we were thinking who would be good at running the country (they’re like ultra-sexy supercomputers with the combined power of the Fedaykin and Starfleet at their beck and call. Plus Paul could tell when diplomats were lying. Spock also makes like the best second-in-command ever. His talents are wasted on Kirk). (actually if the Dune/Trek universes ever came together Kirk would pioneer a gaming show where men wrestle shirtless whilst on top of Sandworms. Kirk does love his shirtless combat).

Okay…okay…non-nerd stuff to talk about…(hey thank god i didn’t watch the new Torchwood)….see this is ridiculous. Wikipedia is not helping. The only item of interest on this desk is a hand puppet but there isn’t that much you could say about that. All attempts to make my life exciting fail actually. Like yesterday:

Mum: Oh wow Olivia look! Look at the White City on the hill! (*points into distance where lo and behold: there is a collection of white buildings). Isn’t it majestic?

Me: Um…majestic? (oh by the way it is a dark afternoon. it is raining)

Mum: Yes! (*sighing*) aaah Carshalton!

Me: Carshalton. You honestly think Carshalton looks like a magical city? It isn’t a city, let alone a magical one

Mum: Of course it is magical! You were born there!

To conclude: my mother is lovely and sweet but completely crazy.

(yeah it feels wrong to have a post which talks about my mother and hypothetical threesomes but that is apparently just the way i roll)

Independence Day! (and some thoughts on zombies)

Okay i am kinda writing this blog just so i could tell you that i am having to eat an ice lolly off a plate with a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles spoon (because when your ice cream fails, you have to balance it out with a win. or something). It is also Independence Day! I had actually forgotten this until i was blearily checking wikipedia as part of my bizarre morning ritual (wake up, laze in bed for a few hours listening to the radio hoping someone will bring me tea, resign myself to the fact i have to make myself tea, mum comes in with tea, i rejoice lazily, turn on computer and start going through my favourites list and god typing that out was depressing). So to celebrate i have…actually done nothing. I mean, i had to tidy up because prospective buyers were looking at the house and i had a nosebleed at some point. It is just hard to celebrate your independence from the country which you live in. And have lived in your whole life. And was probably kinda bummed when you declared your independence from it (that being noted, there are some Independence Day celebrations going on in London. That is just weird). I guess we could set off fireworks, but we seem unable to buy good fireworks. Even if we spend a lot of money. Plus, my mum is scared of fireworks  and seeing as she is the actual American it would be mean to scare her.

So the only option left is to use my American-flag hand towels. God bless America for providing me with such an efficient way of drying my hands. (actually they make a nice hat. I am going to finish this blog with these things on my head). Gosh i mean it is days like today when i really wish we had flag pins which aren’t broken.

Anyway nothing else has really happened apart from i slept over at Jess’. It was meant to be a movie night but we never got around to watching anything because we became engrossed in making up insane stories which would probably be difficult to explain. What you might want to know is that in making up these stories i was converted to being a Andy Murray fan (because imaginary andy murray is just a bit too cool. even if he does spend most of his time sulking in the corner) the day before he got beaten by Roddick (…imaginary Roddick is evil and is in fact the arch-nemesis of imaginary Murray, but real life Roddick is probably very nice). I was looking back over last years blogs to see if i mentioned Wimbledon, and i noticed that the  me-of-yesteryear was hoping that some wild cards would win this year. Needless to say presentday me and yesteryear me are kinda disappointed, even if we do both love Federer to the extent of being a fan of his on facebook. We look forward to next year when hopefully future-me will be enjoying some kind of crazy Wimbledon showdown between two players no one has heard of before (is it because they are time-travellers? or aliens posing as tennis stars? tune in next year to find out).

(okay that last paragraph went a bit weird. I recently noted that, on Suga’s blog, the alt text over the link to my blog reads “she ACTUALLY talks about the people inside her head”. I’m not sure if this is meant to be a good thing or a bad thing. But anyway. If you want to know the people in my head are talking about zombies, which happens a lot.  What they want to know is how do zombies actually eat peoples brains? I mean in horror films, it shows like a crowd of zombies advancing on some sucker who has just run out of ammunition and then you hear the aforementioned sucker screaming. But what do they do? It doesn’t seem like they do anything except stand there to be honest. They can’t like eat through your skull. I’m guessing that they have to break the skull to reach the juicy brains underneath. This seems like effort for something which you probably won’t get to eat because lets face it: one brain isn’t going to be another to feed a crowd of like 100 zombies. I mean, unless there is some sort of “Loaves and Fishes” thing going on but with brains). (okay i just wikied that parable: so did not realise there were two “feeding the multitude” incidents. I mean that just cheapens the whole miracle Jesus. Come up with something new). (i would like to point out that the people in my head have been doing other stuff apart from talking about zombies. It was just interesting to think of different ways to eat people’s brains. I am not going to elaborate because gosh that would just be weird to admit how much thought i put into things which involve cannibalism, which is why this whole thing was in brackets so you knew not to read it….)

Hey ho. In other news i bought a t-shirt off threadless. Which me and my mum are going to share because although i was the one who found it and everything my mum says she has to wear it because she is a librarian (which makes no sense! the shirt clearly says not to go to the library!).

Authors: Gotta catch 'em all!

Authors: Gotta catch 'em all!

So yes. Hopefully no one i know has this shirt. But i just had to buy it. I think it is actually something about Edgar Allen Poe in that suit (like andy murray, Poe is one of these people who i think suck in real life, but i adore their imaginary counter-parts. I mean, gosh thinking up situations for imaginary Poe is so fun! But real Poe is such a downer. I mean apart from when he died. That was interesting because it was all mysterious. I’m kinda hoping it was rabies. The idea of Poe having rabies makes me smile. Then makes me bash my head against the desk because wishing Poe had rabies is mean). Have fun trying to work out who they all are (the guy up front with the big bushy beard bugs me because he could be so many authors. Fortunately, the dude with the ruff was easy to identify).

Hey hey we’re the Nerdfighters…

I have two excellent reasons for typing this blog right now:

1. I haven’t yet blogged about the London Nerdfighter Gathering!

2. I just started to laugh out loud at John’s latest video where he proposes to a Kelley on behalf of her boyfriend Phil and he is just so ridiculous happy 🙂 but yeah. My brother currently has company round our house so i will have to keep laughing at the computer to a minimum. Also talking out loud which i do a lot, especially whilst watching Heroes (where i keep on going “oh no way! what kind of ridiculous plot twist was that?!) or Star Trek (which is more “aaaw look at them. they are so cute!” because the Enterprise is like the Tamogotchi i never had).

So last Saturday was the London Nerdfighter Gathering. Which was truly awesomely awesometacular even though i had to wake up before midday (I’m on holiday dammit!). Managed to get the train to London (i love trains. I’m not sure if i have mentioned this but gosh i really do love them) and merrily walk to the London Eye with Imogen. The only problem was: how do we find the nerds? Thankfully we saw a small group of girls holding copies of Maureen Johnson books and walked over. Some of them had come down from Somerset and had been there since around 7:30am which is crazy dedication (indeed. much props to my nerdy sisters out there as they say) (…god i hope no one has had to say that before). We all got a bit fangirly when Maureen Jonhson and Charlieissocoollike came- in fact i actually had to give Charlie someones phone so one of his dedicated fans could scream down the phone at him (Charlie was really nice about that. I have actually met Charlie and Maureen before but that was before i realised that they were actually like famous).

We all got onto the London Eye (I’m not sure why we did this but hey) although on separate pods and began to take pictures and talk ect (i began to realise that I’m not so cool with heights as i thought i was). After getting off and buying photos (i didn’t because my face was a blob. It was the blob next to charlies shoulder…but still a blob) we began to walk down the South Bank, picking up nerds as we went (so…many…nerds…).  The South Bank was pretty weird as always, not helped by the spotty tree things. I managed to get Maureen’s autograph on my copy of 13 Little Blue Envelopes and Charlie signed my notebook (actually i also got a signature for a friend. I feel sorry for putting so many fangirls in Charlie’s way). I also got a free t-shirt rather randomly from Cheek TV (I’ve never watched the videos, i didn’t even know they were shirts, but when people throw things into crowds you grab them!. Actually i accepted lots of things from strangers which goes against everything i have been taught. So i would have to try and get rid of all this food i had accepted. Mainly by eating it).  This is when exciting things happened 🙂 we had to split into teams for a scavenger hunt. How utterly rad. (my apologies i am turning into my brother).

So my friends i give you the epitome of nerd chic: The Bermudez Decagons! (get it? like the Bermudez Triangle, the title of a Maureen Johnson book, but there were ten of us!…never mind) (by the way: all these pictures stolen off facebook. I believe Imogen has also used them so if you prefer pictures to my writing there is a link in the side bar)

Nerdfighters or just really into Mr Spock? (in my case both)

Nerdfighters or just really into Mr Spock? (in my case both)

I spent most of the day with these wonderful people 🙂 plus to show our dedication to teamwork we wrote all our names together on one of the polka dot trees. (on that note: there was so much nerdiness written on trees. Nerdiness everywhere! I felt so at home amongst people with XKCD badges and people who would write “IDIC” on trees. If anyone reading this automatically knows what IDIC means then they get a hug *hug*. Also lots of alternate DFTBA acronyms like “Dinosaurs Fail to Beat Asteroids” or, rather awesomely, “Don’t Forget Trees Bear Acronyms”). Anyway once we had assembled into our teams we got given large, ominous envelopes (…The Ominous Envelopes? Why that should be a band name!) which we tore open to reveal  5 move envelopes containing our tasks. They could be completed in any order but absolutely no money could be spent during the hunt (so no getting onto public transport) and we could only open them one at a time. After completed a task we had to take a photo and send it to Maureen via iphones.

Here are the letters in the envelopes! (well, i am summing up what each letter said, the real letters were actually more lively and entertaining. Ooh i actually have one somewhere! Will go find!)

1. Find one of the 30 free pianos around London and play it!
Gah! London is a big place! We set off trying to find one thinking of course there must be one down the South Bank because it is the damn South Bank. Racing along, looking for a piano, frantically googling…fortunately a stranger overheard us asking someone and told us that there was one across the Millennium Bridge near St Pauls. We found it, but much to our dismay sound guy was playing this jazz number which seemed to go on forever! When he stopped we all jumped forward and Imogen quickly posed for a picture. Huzzah!

2. Here is a teabag. Make and drink some tea!

How to get someone to make tea without spending money!? We went into a small pub nearby and all began begging the poor bargirl to give us some hot water for tea, we would provide the teabag. She was confused, but happily obliged to our insane demand. Here is a picture of me pretending to drink tea.

I swear I do not usually stick my finger out

I swear I do not usually stick my finger out

3. Find a stranger who is having a birthday today and throw them a miniparty! (balloons and party blowers were included in the envelope. Maureen is adorable)

Okay, we kind of cheated on this one. We found some random ladies on a bench and explained our task (then had to explain it again, slower. They were spanish we think) and they were cool with it. Rock on ladies-on-bench, rock on.

4. England is famous for it’s monarchy! Go take a picture of yourself with one! (seeing as most are unavailable: a statue of pub sign will do)

Fortunately, there is a statue of Queen Anne (i think? Maybe?) right by Saint Pauls so that was over and done with quickly. Then came….our downfall.

5. Go take a group photo of the house owned by Mr and Mrs Andres, the one with all the pictures, in Trafalgar Square

Collective moan as we realised it would take us ages to get to Trafalgar Square from where we were. Gah. We never reached Trafalgar Square as some other team won the hunt, but i did enjoy the conversations i had on the walk. Actually, i did have a rather long conversation about slash fiction which was weird. I had not considered Hamlet/Horatio before (looking back though, it seems so obvious) and i have been informed that there is an awful lot of mainly non-canon, sometimes incestful, Iliad slash out there (i guess it’s good that people are reading classic works of literature, but still). Rule 34 hurts my brain sometimes.

We finally got back to the meeting point on the South Bank, tired, maybe a little annoyed we hadn’t won, but i for one was extremely happy. The rest of the day was a happy blur of nerdiness, going to the wrong Scotland Yard to see if Harry Potter people were filming there (nope. they were not. even when we went to the right one), talking about Surrealism vs. Absurdism (which revolved around a tomato flying a plane) and just general random bonding and at some point doing the hokey-cokey. We ended up in the Royal Festival Hall, defacing a copy of Miley Cyrus’ autobiography, and chatting. (i also met James again, another youtube person: J0ames. Who again i have met before, but i didn’t know who he was then. We hugged again which was nice).

Yeah, all in all a very weird and awesome day 🙂