Party, Picnic, Death

There is quite a lot to update you on and i promised Fia i would blog today. There will be more updates tomorrow after nerdfighting! ( By the way you know who is blogging again?Hannah. Link in the side bar which will soon have alt text because alt text, as you know, is one of my favourite things about the internet and therefore only people who update their blogs get alt text). Unfortunately i amfeeling rather mournful as a rather lovely character in my book has just died. In fact the whole house is joining me in mourning because they have all read the book and understand. The last few days have actually been rather happy which came as a surprise to me because i was expecting them to be horrible and awkward. Like Induction Day: i found i get along with my new form better than i thought i would and the new girls in my class, although understandably a little shy, are all exceptionally nice. The day consisted of random challenges: the kind where you have to communicate and trust each other and work as a team and over such overrated things. We also did some random kayaking and collected rubber ducks and had a massive sponge fight. I’m not entirely sure how this was meant to bring us together: it really brought out our evil sides. I for one took this as an opportunity to try and kill Sophia and, to a lesser extent, Imogen (because she is actually good at kayaking everyone, especially people who had fallen in the river, was unleashing their rage upon her). That was awesome, i haven’t had such a great opportunity to since we did Ping Pong in P.E (still need to invite everyone other for some kind of death-match/tournament).

Later that evening it was Divya’s party and we all had to wear dresses for some reason (i wore a halterneck. bad idea. i am not used to wearing dresses, let alone halternecks. I wonder what new problems i shall encounter when i wear my strapless dress out for the first time). Yeah this was actually pretty awkward at first because we all separated into groups. I mainly sat with Ellen and Zoe eating spicy and delicious food and wishing that my chair was a rocking chair because we were on some decking, looking out onto Divya’s garden, which looks out onto a golf course. So i felt like an elderly southern lady. Anyway later Jess and Hannah arrived and later still someone decided we should watch Dodgeball (i always forget how good that film is) and then we were all getting along fine. We joked until the late hours of the evening (i am so sorry i am writing this blog in such a ridiculous way but i cannot seem to stop). I was all hyper and excited and managed to forget how tired and sun burnt i was. Probably because watching Divya demonstrating how she would flirt with Jess is hilarious.

Yesterday was Spork Pirate picnic day! Me, Fia, Suga, Ellen, Hannah and Imogen had a picnic in York Gardens (i think. Basically that random park in Twickenham by the river with thatstatue of water nymphs). The picnic food was of a much higher quality than usual, probably because of all the new spork pirates we had acquired. In the somewhat random fashion of my friends we played 40 40 it, What’s the Time Mr Wolf, Grandma’s Footsteps and Wink Murder. We also had story time which consisted of Imogen and Hannah reading some of Heart of Darkness and Imogen reciting some Harry Potter. Moreover we fed a squirrel who we named Arvin and Fia did her best to try and get pigeons to attack me (why does that sentence just seem so normal?).

Music news: I did write something about the death of Michael Jackson but i don’t really think i have anything to contribute which would be particularly meaningful even though i believe he was very talented. It somehow didn’t seem that surprising at the time (though maybe that was because it was late and i was too tired to think). I ad actually just been checking the recent deaths section of wiki before Zoe messaged me about it (…which is some morbid habit of mine i guess). So although i can’t claim to like Michael Jackson as a person, I do associate his music with good times. Like  driving in the car singing along with my mother, Poi Club (a Jackson Cd was randomly on in the background), school birthday dance contest, the excellent Walk Off scene in Zoolander to “Beat It” (with the David Bowie cameo!), playing solitaire on my ipod (for some reason, i always listened to “Dirty Diana” whilst doing this. Made the bus journey more fun) and of course there was a time when all me and Jess were seriously determined to learn the Thriller Dance and watched the video repeatedly (also noting that you can actually just imagine anyone in that red suit he wears. Anyone. It gets a bit scary). Maybe we might actually get around to doing that now.


Beard? Beard!

England is part of Europe. Why do i always forget this?

Never mind. The reason this rather alarming thought entered my mind is because i have been reading my cousin’s blog (which is more entertaining than mine dammit. oh and this might be the time to say Suga has a blog now! Link in the sidebar coming soon! It is all pink and sideways. How very Suga) and she is doing the whole “glamorous American girl visiting Europe” thing (on a vaguely related note: i just started reading Portrait of a Lady. Now this is kinda weird for me because for years the Henry James books in the house have been these magical objects which i felt i was not worthy to touch…my weird book-related-insecurities aside: it is very good so far). We are in basically the same time zone for once which is weird *waves to Zoe from across the Channel* Hello!

I am now more determined to do wonderful and cultured things this summer…unfortunately i lost my oyster card yesterday. I know, this is getting ridiculous. Still. I am going into London on Saturday and going on the London Eye with the Nerdfighters and probably visiting the underground magic shop and probably a museum of some sorts so that will be all cultured . I mean until we start on the “In your Pants” jokes but hopefully that can be balanced out by using Shakespearean Insults. Oh Nerdfighters- it’s all a bit too awesome.

Anyway, tomorrow is Induction Day. Which is when I get to meet all the new people coming to our sixth-form next year and we do team building exercises in our form groups. Near the river. So basically some sort of explosion of awkwardness is going to occur. Hopefully it will go okay if i remember to not start talking about homicide (which is…just what i happen to talk about a lot). I did try to prove to Hannah that i could be a normal person yesterday we were hanging out with Imogen, Goldie, Luxmmi, Salma and Ashwini at the Starbucks in the local borders (which is actually where i spent most of last saturday. Well, there and at Fun Learning. Me and Imogen are so gosh darn cool). I totally managed to act pretty sane. Though i am still completely sure that Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has a beard. It is a beard. A BEARD PEOPLE. (we were talking about this because someone happened to mention they found him kinda good looking. I feel slightly less alone in the “I find old presidents attractive even though it is so wrong” world).  Everyone else disagrees with me. Maybe i am not quite the expert on facial hair i thought i was. So i thought maybe a poll would sort this out?

I don’t know why i don’t use the poll option more often. I love polls!

(oh actually while writing this Goldie has clearly spent some time on google images and now agrees he has a beard)

Back to subject at hand: I might be meeting Fia’s friend Frankie sometime soonish (If you are reading this: Hello Frankie! *waves*…i wave too much. I think if we meet you should know i tend to wave at pictures of people. Hell i even wave at Quinto’s name in the opening credits of Heroes) (just finished series one: how awesomely awesome was that?) . Now i don’t know if i should try to act normal or just not bother because she has read my blog. Maybe she has some interesting views on homicide! (Why is this something i look for in potential friends?)

I would rather be talking to the floor.

Arrrh it has been a while since i have updated. Maybe it is because Zoe has been updating her blog (“link in the side bar!”) and probably stole my blogging powers (i just started watching Heroes- can you tell?). A lot has happen actually, and it was my first day free of exams yesterday, but i was being all moody and decided i would rather talk to the living room floor than blog.

Me: Hello floor i have decided to lie on you a while! Is that okay?

Floor: (is unable to talk, because it is the floor)

Me: I am going to take that as a yes (*stretches herself onto floor*). You know we have a lot to catch up on! Why don’t we talk about your day first?

Floor: (if it could talk- it would be saying “helloooo! inanimate object you are talking to here! Sheesh!”)

Me: Fine then! Be that way! (*storms off*)

Floor: (is still unable to talk, but does the floor equivalent of breathing a sigh of relief)

Anyway, like i said, i am free from the metaphorical, oppressive yoke of GCSEs (…i once used that phrase in a history exam, but about Oliver Cromwell). Err, i actually have no plans. go me. Last Saturday i did actually go out to Emma’s Party (it was Emma’s birthday the next day, plus it was a leaving party because she is leaving next year which sucks! Especially because 2 other people, Alex and Hannah, are also leaving from my History Class. I loved that class so much!) which was in a park. And when you get teenagers in a park, you get alcohol (indeed. this is the main reason why cheap cider companies are still in business). I didn’t actually drink that much (despite telling Rachel after exams all i would be spending by days getting drunk in a field) and it was quite fun because there were people there i don’t usually hang out with outside of school but then again completely and utterly awkward because Emma got really drunk and upset about her friends leaving without saying goodbye…(sorry “Only Women Bleed” just came on, and so now I’m just reliving the party in slow motion. Only with scorpions attacking us for some reason). Afterwards me, Goldie, Isabel and Fia met up with Divya and we went to starbucks for a while. Then omfg we spontaneously decided to go to Wagamama’s! (what exciting lives we all lead). Which was amusing because Divya doesn’t know how to use chopsticks (she stabbed her dumplings) and they challenged me to think of someone i have a crush on under 30 (still trying to think of one).

Then on Sunday, i went to the opera rather randomly. Not just like the opera but Glyndebourne which is this country house and opera house out in Sussex and it is all crazy posh and has a ha-ha (which is actually a small ditch to keep out sheep. but it deserves a mention). I like to think me and my mum are the only people who get geared up to see Handel’s Julius Caesar by pumping out the Fleetwood Mac, Heart and the like (also, my mother randomly loves the song “Family Affairs” by Mary J Blige, i mean who doesn’t?). It was a wonderfully sunny  day spent eating picnic food, pretending to be posh whilst sitting on an ikea blanket and heatedly debating if “guy over there” was Jonathan Ross or not. The opera itself had some amazing performances (though there were some cast changes), creepy counter-tenors (seriously counter-tenors scare me a little), lesbian kisses (because Julius Caesar is played by a woman because of the type of music or something. Maybe Handel was just into that kind of thing), shiny costumes and annoying surtitles (why have surtitles if you are not going to use them!?!?). Though sometimes i wasn’t really paying any attention because the first act was crazy long and i had standing tickets and achey feet from wearing new high heeled shoes (because my other shoes were apparently not posh enough for the opera). Still. Murder, revenge, seduction, betrayal, people presenting severed heads as gifts…you can’t say it wasn’t interesting.

After my last exam on Tuesday i celebrated with Zoe and Divya by being fat. By which i mean going to the exotic fast food chain which is McDonald’s. Yaaaay. Then yesterday i watched my DVD of The Princess Bride, which freaked me out because the picture quality is so much better than my old video. I also ate a lot of cookies yesterday because my brother had his girlfriend around and that always means lots of food (she makes me tea, it’s all good). I was planning on watching my new Invasion of the Body Snatchers DVD because i have been thinking about it a lot (plus, because it’s old it is really cheap) because dammit i miss Leonard Nimoy (plus, i wanted to see if he did actually wear paisley in that film. I like to think he did, but probably not) (…yeah i was having this conversation with Fia about how i need to fight Paisley because it is the creation of the Devil…never mind). Other than that, no real plans.

Actually i will probably be watching Heroes which i have become addicted to because i can’t watch Star Trek (it has Sulu George Takei in it as well as Zachary Quinto! Plus i totally laughed about Takei’s license plate number being NCC-1701…because i am so much of a loser i look forward to “Star Trek Saturday” on Lol Celebs). It always ends on a cliffhanger! I know. i’m watching it after everybody else. But still it is very good and yes i am totally loving all implied brain eating. (seriously: an inventive serial killer who drink tea and has superpowers…love. love so much. Plus seeing as he used to be a watchmaker, i bet i could finally get enough watches to make that watch-jacket i have always wanted).

So anyway now that i have finished updating this i can get back to talking to the floor.

Hello Floor!

(…again: this should be the name of Adam’s Band)

To sum up: i am feeling kinda sad.

Yes! No more physics ever! And yes, latin prose went fine, but background was a little weird (fortunately, i came up with enough archaeological evidence about available jobs not to mention prostitution or the whole “a penis on a sign means a bakery” thing)…(though i really think we should begin to call Brothels “Lupanare” because “House of the She-Wolves” sounds pretty awesome…or at least i’m pretty sure that’s how it’s translated. Or it could be “Lair of the She-Wolves”)…(then again how often to brothels come up in normal conversation?)…(which excludes conversations with Zoe and people of her ilk)

Anyway, brothels aside, my grandparent’s birthday gift arrived today. Which was one of those Tiffany Charm Bracelets which completely surprised me, but my mother was all “oh yeah i guess it’s just a traditional sweet 16 thing”. Like seriously? I guess that’s nice but it made me slightly upset that my grandparents would spend $210 (at current exchange rate that is roughly  £128.50 making it the most expensive gift i have probably ever received) on a bracelet which to be honest i probably won’t wear that often because wearing things just because they are expensive is kinda stupid. I really would have been much happier if they had bought me a book or something. It makes me upset because my grandparents clearly have no idea what kind of person I am and yeah i know this is my fault as well and we hardly see each other because of the distance and even when i am with them i tend to avoid them because frankly they creep me out…gah. It’s really nice and all i just wish they were more lovable.

(it’s good to know that if i have kids they totally won’t have this problem because my mum is totally physched about her potential grandchildren and will be one of those nice, huggable grandparents who secretly slip you money and ice cream. If those exists. I’m really just guessing here, wikipedia doesn’t have articles about the different sub-types of grandparents)

Music News: Imogen made me listen to two songs by Chameleon Circuit today! Chameleon Circuit being a Trock band (and by Trock i of course mean Timelord rock) and all their songs are about Doctor Who and so i listened to “Exterminate Regenerate” which is pretty damn catchy (and yes, agreed with Imogen. Charlie’s vocals sound pretty hot) and “journey’s end” which was a nice re-cap of the last episode (it is always nice to see them daleks) and thus gave me flashbacks of all the little emotional bits i had forgotten.

In other music news- my headphones don’t work. This majorly sucks. And i guess it technically isn’t news, but music-wise i have had “Communist Daughter” stuck in my head throughout exams which makes it difficult to concentrate because i don’t know the words. I was in latin, translating in my head, and it went like this “every nation of the Gauls is greatly devoted to the communist, the communist daughter standing on the seaweed water religions and for that reason semen stains the mountain topsthose who are affected by more serious illnesses…” though really just “semen stains the mountain tops” going round my head over and over in Jeff Mangum’s weird voice (i actually find the song really relaxing because a part of the background music sounds like waves fwooshing in…fwooshing out…)

I actually have to try and work out a way of making a group on facebook so we can appreciate Fia’s blog together (Suga needs to create a blog to complete the circle: Suga made me a blog appreciation, i am making fia one nowish, fia made one for imogen, imogen will make one for jess and then jess can make one for Suga! can you feel the love we all have for our blogs?) (no i am not really feeling the love tonight. not even updates from Bill Clinton on facebook will make me feel better) (though really i shouldn’t be indulging in self-pity because i only have two exams left and some people, good luck Jess, have three. which means they have more suck to deal with) (i’m not entirely sure why i am all moody but maybe if i use enough brackets i can sort this out).

Like Wow!

I actually managed to learn stuff today!

I memorised all of Boudicca’s Rebellion! And all (read: all but two paragraphs) or Caesar and the Druids!

…yeah i kinda didn’t get around to learning all my case studies for geography or the roman life. I hope the geography paper tomorrow looks like this: “Use the following pages to rant about the Solomon Islands. Be sure to discuss to what extent logging companies are greedy bitches” and i would be all “they are so amazingly greedy and bitchy that only 2% of the profit from logging goes back to the local people. The logging companies are totally breaking their contracts!”

(sorry i feel compelled to mention this blog is being done in darkness, my ears constantly alert to warn me if someone is bumbling my way, duvet ready to cover the laptop, Mission Impossible theme tune playing in my head…okay not that last one. But still. Blogging in the dark late at night definitely feels cooler than mid-afternoon blogging. If only i was blogging about something important! I mean, managing tourism and the environment is important, but i highly doubt  that Malaysian logging companies are going to send over some assassins to kick my ass. Clearly their assassins are busy trying to kill the leaders of the Isabella Project…

Now I’m just imagining what super powers “Ethically Sourced Wood Man!” would have if there was a superhero for that kind of thing…see the only thing i can think of is “he uses a chainsaw for discriminate logging, his powers of chainsaw-wielding are lessened when bulldozers are in the nearby vicinity”. However having crazy chainsaw skills doesn’t make you a superhero, it makes you a serial killer. Or like a lumberjack. Or a serial killer lumberjack. So err…maybe he has the power to make trees grow? Or put nutrients back in the soil? “GadzooksEthically Sourced Wood Man! The whole area has been bulldozed by those lousy brutes! This area will never recover!”, “Never fear my little sidekick- i will make this area green again!”. Now that is so totally a failed TV show in the making)

(i wonder if the sidekick has a name? This poor boy, cruelly orphaned when the logging company killed his parents for refusing to let them buy their land, having to fend for himself in the forest, learning to love the forest, becoming one with the forest…maybe Setiawan, an Indonesian boy’s name meaning “Faithful” (thank you internet) which is appropriate for a sidekick. (i had fun with name generators whilst finding that. Apparently if i was a sex machine i should call myself “Alicia Amante”, mormon “Alvira Arvalynne”, a poet “Penelope Albatross”, a vulcan “T’Sais”, a goth “Cryptic Slaughter” and finally as a zombie “Aaaeiaaagh “Bondage Ninja” Goooarargh!”. Far, far too much time on my hands).

*Please note* this is the part of the blog where the rap breaks down, it’s real intense, no one makes a sound i am going to ramble on about Star Trek. I’m telling you because it’s seriously boring, but if i don’t type it the you never know what might happen with the pent up nerdiness. I might do something awful like start writing yaoi fan fiction. Really poorly written fan fiction at that.

I am so awake. I was feeling so grumpy from having to actually work and commit things to memory i indulged in what is like the nerd equivalent of watching S&M porn: Patterns of Force, the episode of Star Trek where Kirk and Spock are shirtless and get whipped by Nazis . Ridiculous i know. And not nazis but aliens imitating the nazi regime because a historian decided that if a “benign” nazi regime was started the planet would benefit because the regime could pull them out of their economic slump and so on. This plan goes wrong obviously. But still an interesting idea. The writers of star trek want to “raise some issues” with their ideas like putting human brains into androids, how people need both the good and “evil” side of their personalities, severe consequences of culture clashes, the whole “Jack the Ripper is actually an alien entity who survives on fear” thing (…I’m joking: hopefully that isn’t a real theory. But still. that episode was hilarious), the episode “A Private Little War” was meant to be a commentary on Vietnam but it had to get toned down a little, man’s need for freedom (you can so tell it’s an american show)….however these kinda get overshadowed by things such as “huh…Spock is wandering around a nazi laboratory half-naked” or “…did Kirk really just ask “What’s your beef?” in a poor 1920’s gangster accent?”.  (now, does saying that make Kirk an innovator because Star Trek was made in the sixties, or does in make him old school because he’s in the future? I think he meant it to be old-school, but either way he ends up sounding like an absolute idiot)

Sorry: i am going to take a moment to hit my head repeatedly in the realisation that in my brain shirtless men take precedence over contemplation of serious issues. I can’t even pretend it’s history revision anymore.  Le sigh.

okay i totally just had an idea. Next time i talk about star trek i can warn you with this picture:

Spock pulls around the universe, from Omicron Ceti III to the Bay...

Spock pulls around the universe, from Omicron Ceti III to the Bay...


…I would be tempted to rewrite all the lyrics to U Can’t Touch This but who am I to mess with perfection?

Gosh I seem to have turned 16

I have just got off the phone from Imogen! Imogen is tired and her head hurts. So if we could all take a moment to send Imogen warm fuzzies and go click on her link in the sidebar. (*sends warm fuzzies*, which is what my friends do when they are recreating circle time).

Aside from receiving awesome news via the telephone (UK Nerdfighter Gathering! So excited: will get Maureen Johnson to sign my copy of 13 Little Blue Envelopes.) i have been trying to memorise the 103 lines of latin prose for tomorrow’s exam. Gaaaah, i totally fail at memorising things. It’s actually quite interesting with the whole Druids fighting each other and sacrificing innocent people Wickerman style to appease the undying gods and the roman’s all-out slaughter of the Iceni and even the Iceni’s baggage animals. But then again, reading interviews with David Mitchell is interesting. And funny. And Caesar may have been awesome in the conquering people business but his writing style leaves much to be desired (…i feel like i am writing a school report. “Overall, Caesar has greatly improved his dictatorship skills this term, but he has still to master basic mathematics…”).

This is my first post whilst being 16! Last friday the celebrations officially began by Fia wishing me happy birthday at midnight (yeah…sleep pattern is still a little messed up). Err…actual birthday a little boring. It was rainy and i was having to stay in my room to avoid running into my brother and his girlfriend (who gave me sunflowers because she is lovely like that). We had takeout pizza for lunch and i think the takeout people think we are really fat and lazy because we had it delivered to the house even though it’s within walking distance. In the evening i went to Carluccio’s with my family which was awesome as ever (though i did freak out a little because i had zoned out of some theological debate that was going on and my father suddenly mentioned Mr Spock…) (oh yeah, i got totally mad at the newspaper for referring to Zachary Quinto as “Dr Spock”. He is like everything but a doctor dammit! I have taken this as a sign to stop watching Star Trek for a while. Will watch Peep Show instead).

What was revealed during that dinner which might interest you is that my mother is incredibly worried that she is going to get sucked into a cult. This is because when she was 14, and away on science camp, the camp leaders took them to dinner with these uber-hippies living in teepees on a cliff somewhere…long story short my mother and her jewish friend thought it looked awesome and got baptised in the river there.

Anyway….arrrh i am so sorry my blogging style is all mucked up. Arg. Arrg. Aaaaaarg. I might get back to learning my latin now (by which i mean: watching my new DVD of The Princess Bride. It’s special edition!)

(oh P.S i found the nerdiest shirt in the world the other day. It says, in Harry Potter font-style, “Kwidditch Haderach”. It made me laugh so much 🙂 )

(in non nerd news, my brother leant me St. Vincent’s album “Actor”. I actually like it which is weird)

(maybe i should do like…a nerd news section and a music section more regularly so people will know what bits to read. Like, in nerd news: i watched The Immunity Syndrome the other day. Like oh my god how many times has Mr Spock saved the universe? Plus: the idea that one day i might have to destroy a giant space amoeba is making learning biology seem more useful. Or, in music news: Yelle designed a t-shirt for the “Fashion against AIDs” range at H&M. This news excited Suga, who made me listen to Yelle for which i am most grateful).

Blerrrg. That is the title.

It seems that once again instead of getting down to some serious chemistry revision i am devising conspiracy theories about rapid marmosets (i have decided marmosets are evil just so you know) and contemplating the awesomeness of dinosaurs who wear monocles. I have worked through all my notes several times and now realise why i should have spent the last two years of chemistry lessons working instead of plotting the demise of my chemistry teacher, passing notes with Imogen and Zoe about things such as giraffe sex/Zoe’s love life/our chemistry teachers love life (fortunately, never a combination of all three), leaving bitter comments in my chemistry book and copying any work off Hannah.

Fortunately all other exams seem to have gone pretty much okay- i actually managed to work Star Trek into my french writing exam because going to the cinema is easy to write about (sorry Jess: i might have written that you are my tall best friend who likes James Kirk because he is strong and handsome. I apparently love swimming and when i am hungry like a wolf i eat three, yes three, sandwiches when we have picnics). That is probably not as bad when i managed to include orange shirts and brown elf shoes into my year 8 french writing exam. Other exams…not much to report they are exams. I did get “Cold Ethyl” stuck in my head during History today, but replaced “Ethyl” with Lenin. This meant i was stuck wondering what would happen if i did happen to meet Lenin last night and we made love by the refrigerator light. Is Lenin frigid as an eskimo pie? Presumably, Lenin ought to be cool in bed because Lenin is dead. Ohhhh Lenin, Lenin let my squeeze you in my arms! Lenin, Lenin come and freeze me with your charms! So on and so forth. (did i ever mention Cold Ethyl is my favourite song about necrophilia? Not like it has much competition…apart from other Alice Cooper songs…)

On a non-creepy note: this is a reminder to myself and Suga that i owe Suga cake at some point. Suga made a group on facebook in support of my blog (finally! the fame i deserve!) (…i feel compelled to point out it only has five members. Divya is more appreciated than i am. But then again, Divya is an awesometacular person who turned 16 yesterday- well done Divya! We never thought you could make it this far!). Thank you again, it really cheered me up particularly because obviously exams have made me go slightly insane and unable to have normal conversations.