Captain’s Blog?

I apologise for the lack of updates in a time when people need absolutely any distraction at all. Currently feeling dehydrated and despite the fact that it is currently 4:42 am i feel very awake. Inflamed with nerdy rage you could say. I actually haven’t been updating because daytime is spent revising and nighttime is spent watching Star Trek. This could count as revision. I now know potassium nitrate and sulphur can make gunpowder. This knowledge will be essential for survival next time i am forced into combat with a slow, immensely strong alien on a desert planet (which is actually California). I have also gained random physics knowledge (…which can’t actually be applied to this universe. But hey. Definitely not going to try and find a way into an paralell universe to try and kill parallel-universe me anytime after watching that episode). I am glad that I’ve done biology and therefore won’t get confused by the discovery of silicon-based lifeforms (um…who look like horribly designed rugs with a lot of stuff shoved underneath them. Gosh I love how terrible the special effects are). Also i have yelled “honestly- when will people realise time travel is a bad idea!?” more than is socially acceptable.

I’m really sorry if i have infected you with my nerdiness. But it seems to be the only thing calming me down recently (just a thought: Captain Kirk is an excellent blogger. I mean, i know it’s his log, and it’s voice recorded, but still! Always something interesting to say! Updating even when he is about to be killed! He is indeed a blogging hero for our times). It’s like…why worry about my GCSEs when i probably don’t exist because of the eugenics war at around the time i was born? Why should i be sad when Spock just unknowingly quoted The Princess Bride (“as you wish” and “inconceivable!”)? Are GCSEs more difficult than having to let your love die so that germany didn’t win World War Two (William Shatner and Joan Collins…they do totally work as a couple) or being forced into mortal combat with your best friend because some stupid evil bitch  didn’t realise that Spock was a fine piece of pointy-eared booty?

(And another question: did the writers of the show have a challenge to see who could come up with the weirdest way of getting Kirk’s shirt ripped off?)

…I just realised how ridiculous the plots are (the shirt ripping is also ridiculous. You would expect a captain to have sturdier shirts). But i am still totally mad at T’Pring (aforementioned stupid evil bitch) for choosing to reject Spock (the man-vulcan hybrid has crazy eyebrow gymnastic skills!). I mean how could she resist?

Just kidding. I actually have a nerdy crush on Leonard McCoy because he is a doctor dammit, not an escalator.

(just to clarify: i don’t have a crush on either of them, but if they had a child it would have eyebrows dexterous enough to beat the children off the cadbury’s advert)

(contemplation of that line has caused the people in my head to have an argument about the specifics of an escalator eugenics war…which should be the name of a band! The Escalator Eugenics War. I would like to wish happy birthday to Hannah’s Brother Adam, who needs a name for his band. I know, it was his birthday yesterday but i didn’t wish him happy birthday on facebook because i am spending my time looking at who joins which fan pages and groups. It is most enlightening in some cases. Though there are no prizes for guessing which friend proudly supports “Anal- Up the Chuff!”)

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