Dirty Half Term.

It has been a pretty mixed half term. Which involved watching 4 of the Dirty Harry films and a short film about Vampire Lincoln, going to the Byzantium Exhibition at the Royal Academy, The Darwin Exhibit at The Natural History Museum, attending a concert conducting by Vladimir Jurowski and, most importantly, avoiding any work. Apart from my parents forcing me to study titrations, which has ended up badly because now i just have Clint Eastwood yelling a variation of the “Do you feel lucky?” thing at my chemistry teacher. Seriously, Dirty Harry will blow you head clean off if you ruin any more experiments (our chem.teacher’s experiments are such epic fails, they are almost win. unfortunately, he refuses to do anything potentially dangerous like putting a huge lump of potassium in water or eating lead 😦 ).

Anyway. Byzantium kinda sucked. I am not a huge fan of religious art and there was only one really cool thing there: a big box with a picture of Christ as the Man of Sorrows and a bunch of (probably fake) bits of saints wrapped up and labelled (i tried to guess what bits by size. quite a few fingers, lots more thumbs, toes and probably foreskin). They also had some very bling medallions. *shudders*. However i soon got over it after a nice lunch and getting all teary eyed over Rachmaninoff’s Isle of the Dead , it was a pretty awesome concert all round. Plus Leon Fleischer played Mozart’s Piano Concerto No. 23! Leon was like this crazy-awesome piano player when he was younger, yet unfortunately lost the use of two fingers on his right hand due to some muscle disease. He spent 35 years conducting, teaching and specialising in left handed music before regaining use of his right hand and now can play again (he is now like 80)! He looks so happy and adorable and would mouth along “ba-da-da-da” etc. to what was playing). 🙂 And Jurowski was looking as awesome as ever obviously (okay. its his hands! just his whole arms! they are so graceful and amazing after i walked out i was just like “dammit arms! you should be ashamed!” because my arms and hands are sucktacular in comparison).

The Darwin Exhibit was way more cool (Hannah And Fia came as well because they are just that cool). There was a jar with a little dead octopus in. I rest my case. Well, not really. The cool thing was all his notebooks (including the one with the “tree of life” sketch thing) and his letters and Charlie, the green iguana. It was informative and some of the skeletons looked creepy (always a plus! though there was this one skeleton of a vampire bat which looked like a teensy little human, but instead of having arms having crazy long creepy fingers), yet it was pretty crowded despite being a school day (inset day for me!).

Okay, i bet you all want to know this short film about Vampire Lincoln. Its called The Transient and it about a Homeless Superhero trying to save 87 virgins (as in the famous first line of the Gettysburg Address “four-score and seven years ago…”) from Vampire Lincolns jaws! Its good and quite funny considering it must have had a crazy low budget etc. The special effects kinda remind me of Garth Marengi’s Darkplace (possibly because the punks are meant to be all 80s). You can watch it all free (and legally!) online at http://www.killvampirelincoln.com/watch.html . My favourite line: (southern, redneck accent) You done ruined the gâteau au fromage!

Now. After reading that interview with Clint Eastwood in some paper last wekk, it was bugging me i have never seen one of his films. Like, ever (though i know the ending to Million Dollar Baby thanks to some people). And so i watched Dirty Harry, Magnum Force, The Enforcer and Sudden Impact to change this and feel able to quote Dirty Harry without feeling like a loser. Unfortunately, i know have a major crush on young Clint Eastwood and his hands. Actually, that isn’t even young Eastwood. He was 41 when Dirty Harry came out and 53 when Sudden Impact came out (you can so tell when you watch them close together because you go “woah! where did all the fluffy brown hair go?!”. its still there, but its greying, receding and yes, less fluffy. And yet he is still hot. This is something me and my mother disagree on, but she can’t stand or understand most action films). Now, film-wise: Dirty Harry and Sudden Impact are probably the best. They are all entertaining. In fact, i think i find Magnum Force and The Enforcer too entertaining and funny despite all the murder (i did actually laugh my way through both of them. except for the end of The Enforcer when i just felt incredibly painful. I understand why you did it screenwriters, but i don’t forgive you!). However, Dirty Harry And Sudden Impact are good because they are disturbing, its challenging. (okay, kinda *spoilers* people)I mean, when Scorpio hijacks that bus of school children and makes them sing Old MacDonald had a Farm- that’s creepy. When the children realise something is wrong ad Scorpio threatens to kill them if they don’t sing Row, Row, Row Your Boat….its even creepier. I found it extremely hard to watch some of Sudden Impact because  the flashbacks to the rape is just horrible. They are at a funfair thing so this creepy circus music is playing, the lighting makes it scary, the men are hideous and brutal and we get closeups of the struggling of the two girls and to make it worse the bitch lady who tricked them into coming is sitting there laughing. Also, when she goes around getting revenge (which isn’t really a spoiler. you know shes the murderer from the beginning) there’s that bit where one of the men tries to convince her not to by saying things like “it was a long time ago, i was young, i was drunk, it can’t have been that  bad…”. Also the chase scene on the carousel- damn those things are creepy enough. Even more so in the dark, with even more creepy music and when someone is trying to hide from 3 guys trying to rape her. Though i would like to add: falling off a roller-coaster track and getting impaled on the horn of a carousel unicorn? Best death scene ever.

It does feel like he kills more people than 43 (which is actually his bodycount of all 5 films) with that impressively large gun. Whilst wearing tweed. Okay not all the time, but i am loving the suits Harry.


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