Into the…memories?

I have just watched Into the Wild which my brother has been trying to make the family watch for ages now- an amazing film based on the book which is the true story of Chris McCandlesswho decided to just hitchhike and live withoutmoney or security. I need to read the book. Its an amazing film. Chris has been criticised as being careless, without maps or compass and just a stupid idealist who had been born into a wealthy family but hated materialism etc. partly due to a having a messed up family life and that sounds so cliched but obviously that isn’t what I was thinking. I was just feeling an incredible yearning to just go and be on the West Coast Trail and visit Slab City and just to go do something and i hate myself because i am not going to. Ever. Ever ever. I’m hoping this is going to change one day. I’m hoping i can do it, and maybe find someone to do that with. Because Chris is all alone. And i think he eventually realised that he needed the other people to be really happy. Also it would probably be a bad idea for me to be travelling across america alone. America is just this big dream place for me. I don’t mean like magical, I’ve driven across too much of it and have seen way too concrete for that, but it never really feels that real when I’m there. Because its a holiday, because its really sunny and because the America i want to know is the America which is more wild, and i know my blog has been sounding very cheesy lately but you are just going to have to bear with me because i have been feeling very awfully painfully nostalgic these past few months which is something i am just not used to.

When i was 4, my family went to America for six months and we drove across an awful lot of places. I had my fifth birthday in the desert somewhere (i have the two presents i got that day on my desk right now: a dream catcher and native american sand painting. its okay when we got back to my grandparent’s house we had a real party and i had a chocolate cake. In the shape of a cat). We saw dinosaur footprints and visited Navajo Camps, just went around Indian Territory. We climbed Yosemite Falls (i remember that day we had a big bag full of really good chocolate chip cookies and so my main concern was that bears were going to steal my cookies). We went rafting in Moab and ate at this great diner (Moab diner i have just found outis “world famous”…well there was an awful large queue) and my brothers ate malted milkshake and i had freakin’ superman ice cream. Actually that river trip is mentioned all the time in my family because our boat was the best at what we called “swashbuckling” i.e getting in water fights with all the other boats which was so fun. We also went white water rafting down the South Fork of the American River- which i was just old enough to do. I didn’t even do anything i just got to sit in the front of the boat and enjoy. We went camping in Big Bend, Texas and almost got sprayed by a skunk (the guy camped next to us was trying to attack it with a frying pan), had to attend a talk on mountain lion safety (“no, once again i would like to say they are not going to eat you”…poor park ranger, everyone asked her about that) and we had to stay zipped in our tents to avoid some kind of wild boar…tusky thing. We even went to Las Vegas and stayed in the Circus Circus hotel. It was pretty awesome because of the big Adventure dome, which is the first place i really remember ever liking pirates because being so young the only thing i could really ride was one of those big swinging boats, so i would be sitting there talking aloud to the Captain, and i was first mate. My first lesson in not talking aloud to yourself in public which has become extremely useful. Though i do wonder what happened to me and Captain. I don’t remember what i said, though i believe it weas vaguely apologetic and the parrots were very rude about our sailing skills. The scurvy dogs. It mentions the boat on the wiki page! Sand Pirates: Zamperla swinging pirate ship. Zamperla’s version is known as the Galleon, and has 4 sizes available, which can hold 33, 42, 54 or 84 passengers. Awesome. I could actually buy one off the website. One of these days…

So yes. In conclusion i loved that trip, which will always seem like a dream to me because it just wavers in and outof my rain. And i want to run away. Sometimes anyway. Sometime maybe. I’m really worried about ending up in Coral Gables…which is apparently a real place. After reading one of David Berman’s poems i got really freaked out that i was going to be one of the peoples in this place called Coral Gables which i thought was a pretty good name to sum up that place he was describing. Well i look up today at my pin-board, to my map of the Nerdfighter Tour, and see Coral Gables. Its in Florida. Well good because i have some irrational hatred of Florida anyway. And now have a physical manifestation of my fears. But anyway. Unless…you’re me or telepathic, you won’t understand my fear of Coral Gables which isn’t your fault its my failure to communicate. Lets just say i’m worried the place will make me dead inside.

But speaking of running away… I was talking about this earlier. With a friend. And i don’t know if i get to call her my friend or say she means a lot to me because sometimes i don’t understand her at all but i really want to. I do. I was planning on making you chocolate cake with tracker bars on top this weekend. Because I’m not entirely sure what to say, and apparently actions speak louder than words, and so if it doesn’t seem like i care i honestly do which is what I’m trying to say by making cake. Though maybe not in the shape of a cat. Sorry.

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