Alt Text Lover

September 25, 2008 at 10:22 pm (lists, randomness, ranting)
Tags: billie holiday, chris hastings, dr mcninja, strange fruit, webcomic

I am not entirely sure who i love more: the character Dr McNinja, or his creator Chris Hastings. I know that seems just a bit of a stupid question but hey, this is the Internet. Think of all the viral videos we know and love and then think about just how stupid they are. The problem is i am in love with the alternative text. i was happily reading along…then i happened to read the alt. text and realised that even that was funny. It has to be. Chris Hastings happens to have amazingly crazy ideas (Dracula’s moon base, Mexican banditos on velociraptors, sharp-shooting trapeze artists, Benjamin Franklin clone doing the Thriller dance…and oh yeah. A DOCTOR WHO IS A NINJA) but its also that he just makes 80s movie references in the alt. text, and things like “im listening to Sheena Easton’s “Morning Train”..” which makes me go “but i love that song! and no one else i know does! you must be my true love!”. And frankly it would be awesome if i had a true love who manages to make violence adorable.  

(Oh, whilst we are on the subject of nerdy love: Ben ‘Yahtzhee’ Croshaw. I love his voice oh so much. And i know i mentioned this before but Gordan Freeman is hot! I also am just in love with Peggle. Its not like a particular character because obviously it isn’t character based…but it is full of bright colours and happiness! i want to marry it!)

Aaaanyway…me and my Dr McNinja love aside, things have been okay. Hannah is being depressed because in history we are doing 1920s americawhich meant research into the KKK and having to listen to “Strange Fruit” by Billie Holiday which is probably the most distressing and painful song ever (particularly if you watch footage of her singing it. Extremely chilling). So Hannah is turning the meaning of every event into “”HUMANS ARE EVIL!” and most of the time she is right. She did cheer up in iMedia (its like an ICT course, but creative) and we filmed my maths teacher moving the interactive white board up and down (its like…on a slidey thing…). I like my maths teacher. He just doesn’t notice my table so we sit at the back. I guess i won’t fill in their names even if its obvious to those who know me, but maybe you could just fill them in with imaginary people or people you might think this about:

• Person A: Generally mocked/ignored (i know, that’s mean. But maths puts me in a bad mood and she sits furthest away from me). Tries hard, but we’re lowest set maths so trying never really gets us far as our maths teacher, all new and freshly out of training, walked in to discover on the first day when he started with “so, presuming you can all do trigonometry…” and we all gave him a look. (OKay, i love trig. because its the only maths i can do, but hey. true story)
• Person B: Probably knows the most maths but won’t admit it. Always talking with Person C about Duke of Edinburgh Award. Mostly remembers books and we generally borrow her calculator (which we all use to do really simple sums- “hey- whats 7×8 again?” “Can’t be bothered to think, have the calculator”)
• Person C: Generally really tired and depressed or sometimes really high and bouncy. Can’t be bothered with maths, copies answers from back of book (what idiot actual thought of that? “oooh! they can check their work and just not cheat at all!”). She shares her ipod with me which is nice, mainly chart stuff and old pop but it is still better than nothing. She also thinks im crazy.
• I am Person D: I spend maths drawing and writing in the back of my books. Or reading under the desk. (I know, in my head that makes me sound like a secretly cool nerd in an cute-but-almost-mainstream-indie film).

Writing either takes form of rambling, random stories (fact and fiction! well, okay the only non-fiction was about Pythagoras but it was pretty cool) and occasionally poetry (although prize for best poetry has to go to a poem i wrote in english to help me remember that immediately has an “e”)

Also drawings, there was a time where i ended up drawing dinosaurs over every piece of paper on me. Dinosaurs saying “im a little teapot short and stout, this is my handle this is my spout”. (one of the dinosaurs had an eye patch. Yes, that is a bit too amazing)

Always lots of stickmen. Once, it was stickmen trying to escape from irrational numbers (being narrated by those guys-in-the-movies-with-southern-accents-who-mention-the-days-before-“they”-came) who in my world are insane killer numbers which kinda makes sense

Wow anyway that was a lot of rambling about nothing (did i remember to mention the drawings about people made entirely out of sharp objects? celebrating “kill day”? yeah that was one of the things that convinced person C i was crazy. Though honestly i was just in a bad mood and wanted to creep her out to make me laugh). But anyway. I am going to Swanage of Saturday to observe coastal landforms and partake in some bowling. Fwahaha.