Think Positive!

I have had a lot of thoughts today. I know that doesn’t quite make sense, but my grammar is all mucked up after latin (e.g “i am having been lost that sheet on deponent verbs. god, do not get me started on deponent verbs). I have also been trying to think positive. I am trying to love summer. You get to listen to trippy music and wear a bandanna (what my parents opinion on this look: you look like a californian student who wants to work on a shared farm in Israel). Right now though i am in my pyjamas(stripey bottoms, beatles t-shirt with the faces half gone), listening to New Slang by the Shins on repeat (I’m not generally a Shins fan, but this song so goes) and…being slightly concerned by my use of brackets. I noticed this whilst doing my geography (about urban zones as defined by the Burgess Model. i know what that means!) and became rather worried as i began doing it to my own thoughts.

Livvi: Ooh, would you look at that i am using so many brackets (hopefully it still makes sense)

The second Livvi: No! It’s awful! You shouldn’t have wasted all that lesson time listening to *name blanked out for my dignity* (although that was fun)

Maybe i am just being stupid. Maybe you can’t use brackets inside your mind. But they feel like …bracket thoughts. Am i making sense? I haven’t been feeling like i make much sense recently.

Feelings Livvi has recently felt:

  1. The satisfaction of starting a new list- lists are awesome, you can order shopping, reasons not to do work and hot guys (as a birthday present for a friend, me and Jess annotated a copy of the Da Vinci code. it included lots of lists…usually about which of the characters we wanted to sleep with)
  2. Aaaah-the-work-is-crushing-me feeling! I hate this feeling. Especially as my shoulders actually ache from hunching over work. I have been avoiding work. Right now i am avoiding geography. Why can’t it just go away?
  3. That-paranoid-maybe-i-am-insane feeling. I have this one a lot. I am not insane. This is know. I wish i was insane because that would be an excuse for all the stupid things i think.

Livvi: mmm…he smells of freshly washed and ironed shirts

Randomer: That is so totally wrong dude!

Livvi: Oh its cool, im insane

Randomer: Oh awesome-maybe i should write a book about knowing you

see? everyone is much happier in this scenario  than the one where i say the opening statement and a friend whacks me round the head.

4. Can’t-everyone-just-shut-up? feeling. Everyone in my house is kind of stressy due to lack of internet (i’m writing this on my  mums bright pink shiny laptop) and me and both my brothers have important exams (GCSEs and university…stuff) and my usually bright pink shiny(well, not pink) pets are all ill and my cat especially is in the jaws of death. Ish. She might actually be getting better but still. She never did like to cheer humans up

5. I don’t knowness! I feel unable to answer questions or anything. This is probably why i am avoiding geography work, i am so freaked about getting it wrong. i freak about getting things wrong so much i never actually do anything which is so much worse

Trying to think positively has evidently failed. I am still happy, just…in a very negative way


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