Gérard Depardieu Week

All this week I have watched something with Gérard Depardieu in it every night. Not that I mind, a young Depardieu is quite dashing. Hell, the man even makes a sexy, harmonica playing hunchback (Jean de Florette, go check it out). But he’s so crazily big and his nose is so…out there. Watching french films also makes me begin to try and think in french, so my thoughts become some kind of soothing french accented babbling. Not useful when you need to write an essay on Romeo and Juliet.

Anyway, its been a good half term so far. On Tuesday I went to the Royal Academy to see the From Russia exhibition. This is awesome because a) I got to take a train. I. Love. Trains. So. So. Much. b) There was lots of paintings by famous artists such as Picasso, Renoir and Cézanne(see how casually I list those names?) c) We got to go out for lunch. C is possibly the most awesome of these things because we went to a restaurant and they had miniature pots of jam. They are so damn cute. I know it seems odd to prefer a one ounce thing of jam to Matisse’s Dance II  but they are so fun to play with! Like Chinese worry balls, but…English worry jam jars. Yeah. Still working on a name for it.

Then on Wednesday, my friends Jess, Hannah and Zoë slept over. We tormented Zoë, who was trying in vain to lick her elbow, we watched Baz Luhrmann’s Romeo+Juliet, roasted marshmallows on candles, watched The Princess Bride (best film ever no matter how much Jess and Han laugh at it) and tried to cure Jess’ Doctor Who problem. Jess has been Doctor Who binging and now the only man for her is the Doctor. Unfortunately, she is mixing up the Doctor and our biology teacher in her head. See, as i have mentioned, my biology teacher is an angry Liverpudlian guy who delights in horrible diseases. Doctor Who is a lovable time lord who has a Tardis and adorably fluffy hair. But dammit, they kinda look the same. And even sometimes act the same. Speaking of Doctor Who: i want an adipose. Those were the most adorable blobs of fat this world has ever seen. I accidentally started waving to one of them when they said goodbye (i actually wave to inanimate objects a lot. a whole lot). Plus Peter Capaldi is being Caecilius. Like oh my god, do you have any idea how exciting that is!? Having a crush on Peter Capaldi+ Having a crush on David Tennant+ being a latinstudent= the next episode of Doctor Who will be basically fulfilling some bizarre sexual fantasy. I’m not actually sure what fantasy this is but I’m sure i can think of one.

Speaking of sexual fantasies, Caecilius and David Tennant, fellow latin student Hannah has just informed me her mother has confiscated her copy of Casanova’s autobiography because she read a page about planning a threesome with some 17 year old girls. Hannah is also very excited about Doctor Who and also Casanova’s latin teacher being in the next episode of Skins. We get exciting about the weirdest things. Like…invading Canada and forcing them to change their rubbish mottoes. Hello! Fortis et liber AND Gloriosos et Liber. Be afraid Canada…or at least hide the maple syrup. I so want some maple syrup.

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