Archive for ranting

Just some work avoidance

{ September 21, 2009 @ 10:55 pm } · { fan girlism, ranting }
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Again just posting blogs randomly instead of working!

This time: I’m avoiding English! Who knows what I will be avoiding next? (probably more english actually but for my other teacher) (oh i also have some work for general studies but who on earth cares about that)

I have instead spent most of the evening making cups of tea and watching Richard III. I just finished reading Richard III so this meant my dad had to go get 2 film versions of it and get me some helpful biographies. There is too much Richard in my life. (not like I mind, but now all my thoughts are being spoken by Laurence Olivier being Richard. Not good. So not good). Speaking of the film: it is annoying because they mix up scenes, the actress who plays Anne is terrible (though I was distracted during her scenes by my mother yelling “Killlllll hiiiiim Anne! Killll hiiim noooow!”) and they add in extra lines but I can forgive them because sometimes stuff needs more explaining (especially when everyone has the same name and sometimes gets referred to by title or name randomly) and also because who really cares about accuracy when Laurence Olivier is sporting some really bitchin’ hats. (here is a comic about Richard III! I love Kate Beaton’s stuff. She is the only reason I know anything about Canada)

Anyway- I finished reading a Streetcar Named Desire today. It feels too short! I also just feel annoyed at it in general because today in class we did a little brainstorm about the verb ”flirt”. Seriously. AS Level English. “To flirt”-Is Blanche flirting? What does flirting really involve? Would you say flirting requires confidence?  (my notes on this just read “woe is me”). I much preferred drawing sketches of Trimalchio’s tomb in Class Civ. Trimalchio’s (hypothetical) tomb is so crazy what with its massive size, sundial (“ahah! so everyone who needs to know the time must read my name!”- that is actually just…horribly pathetic), freedman constantly on guard and the pictures of men scattering money and boys crying over broken vases.

Anyway. Tomorrow my main task is to buy milk! Exciting.

Oh right.

{ September 5, 2009 @ 5:25 pm } · { ranting }
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Oh, I just realised i haven’t updated this in a while. I’m back in England now (yay. i guess) working on a timeline of Hitler’s life and ideas (I only just realised how weird it is to do this whilst listening to the Silver Jews). America seems like it was ages ago and possibly never ever happened. The last evening was a bit weird…watching the last episode of Prime Suspect with my grandparents…turning it off to discover that Ted Kennedy had died (I went to go give my condolences to the picture of Bobby Kennedy we have. Which might seem a bit strange, but it just seemed the right thing to do)…ridiculously long flight home…(finished reading The Book Thief on the flight instead of sleeping). Since being back I have randomly met up with Tookey and Imogen and we also had a leaving party for Hannah (she is going to another school for sixth form which she is apparently enjoying. Which I guess is a good thing really…) which was rather lovely and we ate ridiculous scones and sat around not taking off our shoes (as opposed to the wild taking off of shoes which happens at other parties) because there could be sneaky shards of glass laying around due to the broken skylight (Hannah’s mother had to get some stitches in her nose, so *sends warm fuzzies*).

To try and get my sleeping pattern back to normal I stayed up all night watching The Prince and Me 2 (hilarious), Labyrinth and The Princess Bride (including all of the special features. Andre! So adorable! Plus it is pretty awesome that Samuel Beckett used to drive him to school).

Yesterday was the first day of school. Not like the first real day, just that boring day where you do all the administrative work and you get given booklets and letters (yays for injections against cervical cancer! Well. The injections are a good thing. People completely overreacting to having them is a bad thing) and have your ears broken by the fire drill (which sometimes sounds exactly like evil spirits screaming at you that they will get their revenge. or…not). I get to wear my own clothes and use the 6th form centre which is rather unsettling (especially because all the people in upper 6th kind of want to kill everyone in lower 6th). I’ve also switched from doing biology to philosophy.

Sorry, this blog seems unreasonably sad. I blame David Berman’s lyrics (funnily enough, “Honk if You’re Lonely Tonight” cheers me up. Awesome). And the weather. And probably having to read Mein Kampf at some point. (it could also be that a recurring theme for the people in my head right now is kidnapping.  And giant mechanical spiders. Filled with live spiders. I’m not really sure where that is going). Gosh even listening to Fuck Tha Police isn’t improving my mood. I think I might get some tea.

“Naaarg” is the new “blerrrg”

{ August 10, 2009 @ 2:16 am } · { fan girlism, randomness, ranting }
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Ahah! I do have stuff to report. We came back from Tahoe on tuesday pretty exhausted. While up in Tahoe I did two awesome things: Para-sailing and Ice Skating. Para-sailing in Lake Tahoe was great, just me and my brothers 1400 feet in the air chillin’ out max and relaxin’ all cool…though before we got hoisted back into the boat we did get dipped into the water (which is kinda scary because it was all “the water is getting closer! It is so close! ARH WE ARE GOING TO FALL INTO IT!”).

"Take a picture, trick, I'm on a boat, bitch"
“Take a picture, trick, I’m on a boat, bitch”

The lake itself was really warm, and nicer in some ways than being in the sea because it isn’t salty (though my mum is kinda scared by it because she has “read in some book” that there are parts of the lake where they have not found the bottom. Ooooh). But of course going swimming with my brother ben means basically an hour or so spent trying to drown each other which probably weirded out the ridiculously american and healthy looking people on the beach (seriously. there were these walking stereotypes playing volleyball and drinking Budweiser). Anyway, fortunately we didn’t swim in Lake Donner which actually has warning signs which was “Warning-Xtreme Cold” which my dad ignores.

I didn’t have a blog last time I was in America but I’m pretty sure I told everyone I know how I went Ice Skating at 8000 feet up at the Olympic Ice Rink at Squaw Valley. It is just really beautiful up there especially at sunset when you can see the Lake and the Mountains (and it is actually cheaper to go up there at that time so that’s a plus) and hardly anyone is there…oh wait NO because suddenly a large group of American chavs invaded the rink. Grrr. Ah well, it was fun while it lasted (ice skating is good. Ice skating with ‘Super Freak’ playing in the background is awesome).  You do have to table car up there and back which is pretty freaky.

I'm in a cable car motherfucker (...?)

I'm in a cable car motherfucker (...?)

(by the way i am apparently missing out on cheese and nibbles. oh well. I just learnt how to punch a shark. Thanks youtube!) (i really should watch Shark Week. it looks awesome).

Anyway, Tahoe is pretty and all but mostly we stayed inside reading. I finished Pompeii by Robert Harris because I have to read it for class civ. next year and oh my god I just hate everyone in that book. (funnily enough, this is the one book I have ever heard my chemistry teacher say he likes. This is just further evidence that my chemistry teacher should be under permanent house-arrest with no internet access so he cannot share his dangerous ideas to the world) (oh my, i just realised he isn’t my chemistry teacher anymore!).

To spice things up a little (there is a phrase I never thought i would write. I can just see myself in 30 years time writing that in a family christmas letter about a trip to a glue making factory or something) when we got back we went to Berkeley! Aarh I am half annoyed and half happy that I got their last signed copy of David Eggers latest book at Moe’s Bookstore. Happy because that is awesome, unhappy because the reason they had signed copies is that Eggers was doing a talk there last week (which I could have gone to) and he isn’t doing anymore at the moment. Gah. Anyway, I also bought an issue of McSweeney’s, an album by the Silver Jews (American Water, i think it is considered their best. Incidentally, McSweeney’s once featured some of David Berman’s poetry. Clearly Dave Eggers is actually to awesome to function) and a Rasputin Music t-shirt. Yes, you read that correctly. I have Gregory fucking Rasputin on a shirt (which claims that he is a “Profligate. Panderer. Prophet. The Protomartyr of Punk“). We also had some bitchin’ sandwiches for lunch. And by “bitchin’” i mean they were really huge and tasted amazing and were made with fresh and tasty produce.

Err since then…not much. My mum went to LA and has since returned (she saw Britney Spears. Apparently she looked like a tramp. How suprising). I have awakwardly watched some Jon Stewart with my grandma. Gah. Very awkward trying not to laugh at Judd Apatow and Jon Stewart’s funny banter about masturbation and penis jokes in front of your grandma. Oh my god there was the most ridiculous clip of some anti-health care nonsense by some republican dude (who is called Chuck. that is always a bad sign) which you can find here because wordpress is a bitch who let me insert the video here. I also went to the Betty Crocker art museum to view some ceramics by female Japanese artists, which was…just really really boring…so I imagined what it would be like to take over the house, destroy the new extension they are adding and live a fantasy 18th century lifestyle and host magnificent balls in their kick-ass ballroom (apparently all their Crocker family were pretty awesome back in the day). Secret evil desires brighten up anything (as I’m sure Fia knows). It was stupidly hot today so i spent most of it in the pool instead of the original plan which was to go see Buddhists perform a Michael Jackson tribute (if anyone is seriously interested, I’m pretty sure i can find some poor-quality videos of it). That is about it (oh, actually I did go to the mall. I went to Macy’s. *shudder*). I will be going into San Francisco tomorrow so hopefully I’ll have something interesting to say about it.

(but i probably will not have any news because it is so boring I even picked up the newspaper. I was rewarded with an article about how totally awesome Bill Clinton is for getting those two journalists back from North Korea. gah! love so much!) (also love this thing about whether Bill is more Bond or McClane) (McClane could so kick Bond’s ass any day)

Attack of the overly Long Blog Posts! Showing Now!

{ July 16, 2009 @ 10:55 pm } · { fan girlism, randomness, ranting }
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Lots has been happening this week! Which might take a while to recount because i could get sidetracked because this blog is being powered by lots and lots of strawberry fruitellas (which is apparently the british starburst? who cares. thanks to the friendly cashier dude i bought a 4 pack and need more more more). Anyway, transport your mind back to last Sunday because that is when i had my birthday party. Which I didn’t really have a plan for because it would be too expensive to have like a real party (movie tickets! what is wrong with you Odeon!?!) andit is kinda hard to find one thing we all want to do. So we just rolled with it. The result was me, Hannah, Jess, Divya, Imogen, Zoe, Fia, Tookey and Suga crammed into my garage trying to play ping-pong with 3 bats, books, a spade (Imogen. why do i think she is sane?) and a biscuit tin lid (Divya was actually pretty skilled with that).

Why do I let these people into my house?

Why do I let these people into my house?

 

Wait, why am I allowed out of my house?

Wait, why am I allowed out of my house?

Then we ate fooooood (traditionally at my house we have to eat smiley faces and sausage rolls. and drink rootbeer. I think i managed to convert the Tookster and Suga to the Rootbeer cause) (oh- Tookey’s parents told her not to get drunk at my house with all us year 11s. I feel like i live in some badass house of sin or something) (not like rootbeer is alcoholic. just so so good). We also did the trek to blockbusters (also traditionally) and spent forever trying to rent movies we all liked (yeah the arguing at this point is also traditional. I mean, tackling Tookey wasn’t really necessary but it was very fun). We ended up watching Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist…we rented some other movies which we didn’t watch (oh well….it left time for us to watch The Princess Bride. Which was my plan all along muhahahahaha). Talking late into the night about randomness which was interesting because Tookey has not been subject to sleepover interrogation before. Or Imogen-Interrogation in the form of tennis ball truths etc. Terrifying but the Tookster handled it well. I also revealed that i have a fetish for purple men dressed as oxen who want to plough me (…i could explain this. but do you really want me to?) (note for your mental images: there is headbutting involved) (note to my mother, who has recently discovered facebook and may become good at internet-stalking in the future: it was a joke. A weird game of make believe) (shifting the attention off of myself…surely the best quote of the evening must have been zoe saying “hey! my spit looks like africa!”)

Oh present wise…Zoe gave me a book about Charles Manson (thanks for that), Jess gave me a book about a serial killer and the DVD of The Prince and Me 2 (…weirdest gift combo ever?) (oh she also gave me an awesome card. With a drawing of Rufus Wainwright on it. Wearing lederhosen. Tennis lederhosen) and Hannah gave me a book about some crazy dude (hey is there like a theme here?) (no the book looks really good.  It is called Cockroach by Rawi Hage). Suga gave me money (she didn’t get me a book because she thinks i am “so well read” and she also wrote in her card that she hopes i “don’t get something that convinces you that i am an assassin”. Suga is so adorable. She even called my room magical ♥) (Divya complained that my room had porn in it. It is a Toulouse-Lautrec painting! A painting of a hooker yes, but not a saucy one). Fia gave me a DVD of Labyrinth (squeee!) (oh, fia gets confused when i use non-words (like blerg. or flaaaargn. or smehneh etc.), so to translate: i was excited) and Divya gave me a DVD of Mona Lise Smile which I have never seen. Tookey gave me 2 Books: Gulliver’s Travels and the Prisoner of Zenda (my dad got excited because he has always wanted to read it because he has a nostalgic thing about the 1937 film and is always outraged that this version is never shown on TV) and Jeff Buckley’s CD Grace. I haven’t listened to it yet because….

I have been too busy listening to DFTBA Records: Volume One! A present from Imogen so awesome it comes from overseas, the envelope was decorated with stars and it gets it’s own little paragraph because I love it so much. I have been listening to it constantly. Favourites: “The Anglerfish Song” by Hank Green because it has to be the catchiest song ever, “Can’t” by Alan Lastufka 6 and Tom Milsom because i love the use of the inkjet printer noise for percussion and the tune makes me want to the macarena robot style, “Exterminate, Regenerate” by Chameleon Circuit which i have already given much love to, “In the Absence of Christmas” by Charlie McDonnell because it crazy original and yes, a little sad but in a good way (oh hey- did anyone get that Charlie was the inspiration for the whole “purple-oxen-men” comment? so yes: i am sorry Charlie that that is what happens to you in my head. So sorry), “Porphyrophobia” by Tom Milsom (damn this list is long), “The Nonsense Song” by Michael Aranda gets on my favourites probably because i just love the idea of a magic grilled cheese sandwich and finally “I Pity the Fu” by Molly Lewis because it is a song about Mr T. Accompanied by the ukulele. With some kick-ass lyrics. (plus Molly Lewis is a Coulton fan so of course she is going to be awesome and write songs with crazy lyrics)

Aaarh so anyway that was fun. But then work experience had to begin sometime so i have been kicking it old-school shall we say with the Museum of London Early History Department. Hell yeah. I got to label pieces of prehistoric flint baby. And an assortment of random artifacts (you can see my labelling skills if you ever go and like handle the the broken pots and animal bones. Or flint from box 3, flints from number 189-284) (yes i did label 95 rocks. And yeah that involves coating them in nail varnish. And yes i did end up spilling ink all over the carpet on my first day but who cares because i can pretend i am an awesome archaeologist lady). What was actually cool was going into the basement and going through drawers of Medieval ironwork because the senior curator who specialises in Medieval stuff is retiring (he knows so much it was so scary, but he is really nice) and so the other curators are trying to “download his brain” before he leaves. Drawers and drawers of badges, rings, brooches, stuff-which-is-linked-to-Thomas-Beckett (the dude clearly got around…his…blacksmiths?) and horse-stuff (spurs: have more potential for innuendo than i would have thought) and lots of keys (they also are also apparently overflowing with spoons. Kinda like my spoon drawer. Spoons are evil dammit).

Oh you know what else i did? I investigated a pottery fragment and for one afternoon became an expert in pottery marks and dived into the mysterious world of heraldry. Oh my god why on earth do people write books about pottery? Are these people actually alive? Now Heraldry. It is just insane. These people are insane. All the crazy terminology and symbolism and rules! It could be fascinating if it wasn’t so damn scary. I mean you could fill a book, in fact there are probably too many books, about the rules about Coats of Arms for illegitimate children. And what happens to the Coat of Arms if, like with John of Gaunt’s and Katherine Swynford’s children, they become legitimate. Aaarh.

It is also my job to design an activity sheet for small children about the River Thames. Throughout the fucking ages. So i had to go through all the galleries and write down anything about the Thames (easier than i thought until i hit 1558-1666. Our paths cross again Mr Cromwell. But this, i have the advantage. Because i have a clipboard andyou are behind a display case. Suck on that bitch). Okay, i actually had some fun coming up with questions and trying to be “fun”. (i did entertain a fantasy that it was future me, who owns a time machine, who threw all this stuff into the Thames, just so i had more questions to ask. I mean, stealing viking swords and carving curses into tablets in latin would be awesome). So if you like to feel smart by doing easy quizzes, come to the Museum on August 1st or 2nd and pick up a sheet.

The Museum is nice, i get tea and high-quality biscuits and everyone is lovely to me. Plus i get like a badge to beep myself in and out of security doors. It feels kinda cool (it would be cooler if the staff entrance to the office section wasn’t next to the toilets).

In other news: Tookey lent me season 1 of 30 Rock and I am enjoying it, i have been wearing lots of skirts this week and i think i like it, i only got1/5 when Charlie presented Truth and Fail so i should have to upload a video of me doing the macarena backwards (the question i got right is the one about William Shakespeare’s will because i always remember how everyone makes a point of saying “second best bed”), tomorrow is Hannah’s birthday party so hopefully that should be fun and this is also the only time i see Hannah’s outside school friends Ella and Scarlett (which is a shame because they are both so nice and they are probably more up to date on Ellen-in-jokes than Ellen is) (unfortunately Ellen couldn’t make it to my party because she was seeing Lang-Lang in concert).

IN MAJORLY IMPORTANT NEWS Jess has swine flu. So warm fuzzies for Jess, even if she might not appreciate them because having swine flu makes her grumpy. But still she may finally update her blog (oh she actually did the early hours of yesterday! go Jess!) so you should check it out (link the sidebar!) if you want to wish her well/angry ladies turn you on.

(oh God in a post around the same length as some of my english essays i actually missed stuff out. Notably: i finally finished The Portrait of a Lady after an embarresingly long time. I was not entirely happy with the ending. Then read all of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows one night because Imogen challenged me and i am sick of being shown up in front of other nerds. I did like it, more than Half-Blood Prince I think, but yeah…I agree the epilogue sucks majorly.  Not sure what I am going to read next. But it is likely it will feature creepy people).

To sum up: i am feeling kinda sad.

{ June 10, 2009 @ 11:05 pm } · { randomness, ranting }
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Yes! No more physics ever! And yes, latin prose went fine, but background was a little weird (fortunately, i came up with enough archaeological evidence about available jobs not to mention prostitution or the whole “a penis on a sign means a bakery” thing)…(though i really think we should begin to call Brothels “Lupanare” because “House of the She-Wolves” sounds pretty awesome…or at least i’m pretty sure that’s how it’s translated. Or it could be “Lair of the She-Wolves”)…(then again how often to brothels come up in normal conversation?)…(which excludes conversations with Zoe and people of her ilk)

Anyway, brothels aside, my grandparent’s birthday gift arrived today. Which was one of those Tiffany Charm Bracelets which completely surprised me, but my mother was all “oh yeah i guess it’s just a traditional sweet 16 thing”. Like seriously? I guess that’s nice but it made me slightly upset that my grandparents would spend $210 (at current exchange rate that is roughly  £128.50 making it the most expensive gift i have probably ever received) on a bracelet which to be honest i probably won’t wear that often because wearing things just because they are expensive is kinda stupid. I really would have been much happier if they had bought me a book or something. It makes me upset because my grandparents clearly have no idea what kind of person I am and yeah i know this is my fault as well and we hardly see each other because of the distance and even when i am with them i tend to avoid them because frankly they creep me out…gah. It’s really nice and all i just wish they were more lovable.

(it’s good to know that if i have kids they totally won’t have this problem because my mum is totally physched about her potential grandchildren and will be one of those nice, huggable grandparents who secretly slip you money and ice cream. If those exists. I’m really just guessing here, wikipedia doesn’t have articles about the different sub-types of grandparents)

Music News: Imogen made me listen to two songs by Chameleon Circuit today! Chameleon Circuit being a Trock band (and by Trock i of course mean Timelord rock) and all their songs are about Doctor Who and so i listened to “Exterminate Regenerate” which is pretty damn catchy (and yes, agreed with Imogen. Charlie’s vocals sound pretty hot) and “journey’s end” which was a nice re-cap of the last episode (it is always nice to see them daleks) and thus gave me flashbacks of all the little emotional bits i had forgotten.

In other music news- my headphones don’t work. This majorly sucks. And i guess it technically isn’t news, but music-wise i have had “Communist Daughter” stuck in my head throughout exams which makes it difficult to concentrate because i don’t know the words. I was in latin, translating in my head, and it went like this “every nation of the Gauls is greatly devoted to the communist, the communist daughter standing on the seaweed water religions and for that reason semen stains the mountain topsthose who are affected by more serious illnesses…” though really just “semen stains the mountain tops” going round my head over and over in Jeff Mangum’s weird voice (i actually find the song really relaxing because a part of the background music sounds like waves fwooshing in…fwooshing out…)

I actually have to try and work out a way of making a group on facebook so we can appreciate Fia’s blog together (Suga needs to create a blog to complete the circle: Suga made me a blog appreciation, i am making fia one nowish, fia made one for imogen, imogen will make one for jess and then jess can make one for Suga! can you feel the love we all have for our blogs?) (no i am not really feeling the love tonight. not even updates from Bill Clinton on facebook will make me feel better) (though really i shouldn’t be indulging in self-pity because i only have two exams left and some people, good luck Jess, have three. which means they have more suck to deal with) (i’m not entirely sure why i am all moody but maybe if i use enough brackets i can sort this out).

Blerrrg. That is the title.

{ June 3, 2009 @ 10:23 pm } · { randomness, ranting }
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It seems that once again instead of getting down to some serious chemistry revision i am devising conspiracy theories about rapid marmosets (i have decided marmosets are evil just so you know) and contemplating the awesomeness of dinosaurs who wear monocles. I have worked through all my notes several times and now realise why i should have spent the last two years of chemistry lessons working instead of plotting the demise of my chemistry teacher, passing notes with Imogen and Zoe about things such as giraffe sex/Zoe’s love life/our chemistry teachers love life (fortunately, never a combination of all three), leaving bitter comments in my chemistry book and copying any work off Hannah.

Fortunately all other exams seem to have gone pretty much okay- i actually managed to work Star Trek into my french writing exam because going to the cinema is easy to write about (sorry Jess: i might have written that you are my tall best friend who likes James Kirk because he is strong and handsome. I apparently love swimming and when i am hungry like a wolf i eat three, yes three, sandwiches when we have picnics). That is probably not as bad when i managed to include orange shirts and brown elf shoes into my year 8 french writing exam. Other exams…not much to report they are exams. I did get “Cold Ethyl” stuck in my head during History today, but replaced “Ethyl” with Lenin. This meant i was stuck wondering what would happen if i did happen to meet Lenin last night and we made love by the refrigerator light. Is Lenin frigid as an eskimo pie? Presumably, Lenin ought to be cool in bed because Lenin is dead. Ohhhh Lenin, Lenin let my squeeze you in my arms! Lenin, Lenin come and freeze me with your charms! So on and so forth. (did i ever mention Cold Ethyl is my favourite song about necrophilia? Not like it has much competition…apart from other Alice Cooper songs…)

On a non-creepy note: this is a reminder to myself and Suga that i owe Suga cake at some point. Suga made a group on facebook in support of my blog (finally! the fame i deserve!) (…i feel compelled to point out it only has five members. Divya is more appreciated than i am. But then again, Divya is an awesometacular person who turned 16 yesterday- well done Divya! We never thought you could make it this far!). Thank you again, it really cheered me up particularly because obviously exams have made me go slightly insane and unable to have normal conversations.

Captain’s Blog?

{ May 30, 2009 @ 4:41 am } · { fan girlism, ranting }
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I apologise for the lack of updates in a time when people need absolutely any distraction at all. Currently feeling dehydrated and despite the fact that it is currently 4:42 am i feel very awake. Inflamed with nerdy rage you could say. I actually haven’t been updating because daytime is spent revising and nighttime is spent watching Star Trek. This could count as revision. I now know potassium nitrate and sulphur can make gunpowder. This knowledge will be essential for survival next time i am forced into combat with a slow, immensely strong alien on a desert planet (which is actually California). I have also gained random physics knowledge (…which can’t actually be applied to this universe. But hey. Definitely not going to try and find a way into an paralell universe to try and kill parallel-universe me anytime after watching that episode). I am glad that I’ve done biology and therefore won’t get confused by the discovery of silicon-based lifeforms (um…who look like horribly designed rugs with a lot of stuff shoved underneath them. Gosh I love how terrible the special effects are). Also i have yelled “honestly- when will people realise time travel is a bad idea!?” more than is socially acceptable.

I’m really sorry if i have infected you with my nerdiness. But it seems to be the only thing calming me down recently (just a thought: Captain Kirk is an excellent blogger. I mean, i know it’s his log, and it’s voice recorded, but still! Always something interesting to say! Updating even when he is about to be killed! He is indeed a blogging hero for our times). It’s like…why worry about my GCSEs when i probably don’t exist because of the eugenics war at around the time i was born? Why should i be sad when Spock just unknowingly quoted The Princess Bride (“as you wish” and “inconceivable!”)? Are GCSEs more difficult than having to let your love die so that germany didn’t win World War Two (William Shatner and Joan Collins…they do totally work as a couple) or being forced into mortal combat with your best friend because some stupid evil bitch  didn’t realise that Spock was a fine piece of pointy-eared booty?

(And another question: did the writers of the show have a challenge to see who could come up with the weirdest way of getting Kirk’s shirt ripped off?)

…I just realised how ridiculous the plots are (the shirt ripping is also ridiculous. You would expect a captain to have sturdier shirts). But i am still totally mad at T’Pring (aforementioned stupid evil bitch) for choosing to reject Spock (the man-vulcan hybrid has crazy eyebrow gymnastic skills!). I mean how could she resist?

Just kidding. I actually have a nerdy crush on Leonard McCoy because he is a doctor dammit, not an escalator.

(just to clarify: i don’t have a crush on either of them, but if they had a child it would have eyebrows dexterous enough to beat the children off the cadbury’s advert)

(contemplation of that line has caused the people in my head to have an argument about the specifics of an escalator eugenics war…which should be the name of a band! The Escalator Eugenics War. I would like to wish happy birthday to Hannah’s Brother Adam, who needs a name for his band. I know, it was his birthday yesterday but i didn’t wish him happy birthday on facebook because i am spending my time looking at who joins which fan pages and groups. It is most enlightening in some cases. Though there are no prizes for guessing which friend proudly supports “Anal- Up the Chuff!”)

Nerdcore and the Jews on the Moon

{ May 23, 2009 @ 11:03 pm } · { fan girlism, randomness, ranting }
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Hello…blog people. My perception of time might be a little screwed as i haven’t been keeping normal hours. By which i mean i went to sleep at 8am this morning. And the day before that i went to bed at around 6am. See, this would be acceptable if i was out clubbing and not staying up… watching Peep Show and Star Trek (sorry. my nerdy feelings are just made worse by “I fought the law” just coming on the radio. Also because i feel i need to clarify i was watching the original Star Trek).

OKay to explain that bracket: me, Imogen and fia went to watch Star Trek on Thursday because we are nerdcore (great. now Chuck Berry is singing “No particular place to go”…) and also kinda because Hank Green said it was really good (and i trust Hank because he is a star trek nerd. and yes, at some point in the film Imogen did turn around and ask “What would Captain Picard do?”). And it was just amazingly awesome! Though this could be because i was getting a bit too emotionally involved with the whole plot (i think this was justified! however i get the feeling fia and Imogen disapproved. but! but! *flaps arms around and makes squeaky noises*).  Plus, Zachary Quinto was adorable as Spock. ♥

Anyway, because it rocked i am kinda watching some of the original star trek because i have never actually seen any. I watched Star Trek: The Next Generation enough to really like Captain Picard because he was just awesomely awesome, but not enough to think that watching Star Trek was an acceptable excuse not to go to the school disco (sorry but the old school discos were amazing, so i always remembered that excuse). 

So original star trek is pretty enjoyable, especially with all the cheesy special effects which are actually pretty endearing (…sorry advert for the “red hot channel” just came on the radio. scares me every time).  Plus, because i was having to tell my mother that yes, Leonard Nimoy is definitely Jewish (i find it odd how Spock has always been more recognisable to me than Kirk, a more comforting figure. I mean, i always think William Shatner is dead. That is comforting at all. ) i have found out some cool things about Jewish people in space (unfortunately, no Jewish people have been on the moon….though “Jews on the Moon” is the name of a short science fiction story i just found…in 2053 the Jewish people are apparently living on the dark side of the moon and all the gentiles had a party. Don’t worry though, life on earth sucks but the Jews have actually made a fantastic place for themselves on the moon. Actually “life disintegrated” without the Jews. Anyway, god decides to destroy the earth, which makes so “the Jews on the moon went into a period of deep mourning”. gosh that is such a weird sentence to type. Anyway, the story had no real ending, but if you’re interested: Hitler’s last remaining relative is in Brazil).

…sorry i got distracted by reading that. I was going to say that there have only been like 9 Jewish astronauts (by which i mean, when i search “Jewish astronauts” on wiki, it gives me nine names). Unfortunately two of them were killed, Judith Resnik of the Challenger and Illan Ramon of the Columbia. ON a lighter note, David Wolf was the first american to vote in space and Greg Chamitoff was the first person to bring bagels into space (which were from his cousin’s bakery, which is cute).

Anyway, aside from the nerdiness, it was my father’s birthday yesterday (…okay i could nerdify that so easily. Because the 22nd is also Jeffrey Rowland’s birthday. never mind)! So we went to eat at an italian restaurant and it was all lovely and happy (i had oreos for breakfast this morning. which isn’t really relevant. i just wanted to put another bracket in here).

So tra la la, i have time off from exams. To revise! To maybe start watching Heroes (hello!? why did no one tell me there was implied brain eating fia!?) and finish Grey’s Anatomy. I am saving Peep Show for when i really need it, which is before chemistry and physics exams.

(…i would just like to say “Nerdcore and the Jews on the Moon” sounds like a good band name. I am getting better on guitar if anyone is interested).

(oh and another thing- my mum never really watched star trek…but she insists that i say “Captain Kirk” instead of just “Kirk”. She is clearly crazy and is probably harbouring a secret love of Kirk. Which is weird, because he has moobs. Moobs! Spock beats Kirk anyday. Spock never steals cars whilst listening to the Beastie Boys).

I’m on Study Leave again.

{ May 16, 2009 @ 9:56 pm } · { randomness, ranting }
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Arrrh i have not updated in ages. I do have GCSes (well okay. i’ve had one so far. and. which was only french listening …well i’m not really revising that hard). Anyway, i will probably not leave the computer chair until midnight (from 9-12 on a saturday night is Alice Cooper time! which probably isn’t very healthy. but tonight he is interviewing Chad Smith  a.k.a the drummer for the Chilis who is now in some supergroupcalled Chickenfoot with some dudes from Van Halen and Joe Satriani. There album is coming out on my birthday! Aaw he and Alice are being so cute and Detroitsian together!)so i have plenty of time to try and remember what has been happening recently.

I guess the most important event is muck up day! Our year had some good ideas, but most of the cool stuff we put up got taken down before first period (which is sucky). Though i was actually in a terrible mood that day, so i guess i wasn’t really feeling the whole zomfgwtfbbq vibe. Plus having to watch rounders in the rain never does anything to cheer me up (i feel very sorry for the people actually playing in that downpour). There was a party with pizza, there was shirt signing (which actually was fun if a bit random…i got singed by: my maths teacher, history teacher, geography teacher and my chemistry teacher. Who was stuffing his face with the pizza we paid for. But hey, you gave us haribo), there were straws (which always need a mention) and i got to hug my history teacher (who we all love and is so adorably gay) (oh like 4 people from my history class are leaving! Emma, Alex, Immy and, pleasepleaseplease change your mind, Hannah. This sucks majorly because it has been like my favourite class for the past two years and i will miss it a lot). Though it is weird to have said goodbye etc. and then still see them coming into school for exams. It’s like “arrh! you aren’t supposed to exist anymore!”.

(…sorry Alice is playing White Rabbit. i love this song :) and plus he played it the first time i listened to his radio show…which makes me all nostalgic for like…a couple of months ago…)

After the party, an emotional singy walk down Richmond Road. We (err me, Jess, Zoe, Hannah, Suga and Imogen. Divya and Ellen were meant to be coming but probably got lost like we knew they would…oh and Fia was there i just missed her out when i wrote this because i hate her. Hello from future me blog! *waves*) hung out at Imogen’s…gosh i have no idea what we talked about. I think we were being girls and at some point we discussing future kid names. And randomness. Then, randomly, we decided to go to Carluccios for dinner (after me and Hannah went to Jess’ to borrow clothes). Dinner is always nice (plus it was a bit Homocore wasn’t it Jess? Which is hard to explain what this means to me and Jess, but has stuff do with a  puppet-mistresses version of Lenin and Robert Pattinson)

This all feels like ages ago. Study leave has…not been very productive. See my brother recently introduced me to a new game called Plants vs Zombies which is stupidly addictive (made by the people who did Peggle) which i have played so much it sometimes seems things in my vision are creeping from right to left. Plus the credits have this stupidly catchy song…

 

Anyway i am sorry this has been so boring. I think all my interesting has been used up in last nights dream. Which at some point made me feel ill because…the world was sort of turned upside down…and you could see the gravitational force field which kept us from falling into space but it felt very breakable. Then, when the world was righted, i ran into Baby Spice who was professing her love to my chemistry teacher at the park, only S Club 7 kept on laughing at her (…i have been listening to S Club 7 again recently. And this was them when they were still a 7 and not a 6! Not like i liked Paul anyway but still…). Then my biology teacher appeared  (why, why are these people in my dreams? My chemistry teacher and i recently robbed some diamonds together. And one of the SLT turned up and yelled at me after i went sliding down a steep slope onto his wife’s grave. Which was made of cake. And his wife is my french teacher. Its all so confusing!) and was like “right! i am going to give you a lecture on dark clouds!” so they would not mock Baby Spice anymore. Or maybe he just wanted to lecture them. Ah well.

Blah. Blah and Ice Cream.

{ April 24, 2009 @ 10:32 pm } · { fan girlism, randomness, ranting }
{ Tags: , , , } · { Comments (3) }

…there is not much to blog about. So little i actually went to wikipedia and surfed the recent deaths section (…which is what i do when i am bored for some reason). School is just revision and…oh and staff&sixth form netball. Which was quite amusing and a good excuse to tell my chemistry teacher that victory does not justify popping the collar of your abercrombie and firch polo shirt like an idiot. And Fia made me a picture of a cactohat (i have therefore forgiven her for being evil)! But she left out the vital hat/ingredient- the Fields of the Nephilim style hat (see… my ideal cactohat is a top hat, with a cactus on top…wearing a cowboyish hat. oh yeah).

But all this repetition means no blog material! Unless you want to hear about whatever the people in my head are talking about over deep-fried pancakes (…they’re talking about building a time machine bringing Claude Rains to the future to investigate my hypothetical murder!) (…i was watching Poirot this evening hence the whole murder thing . And i love David Suchet and all, but Claude Rains was in Casablanca!). Most foods are deep fried in my head. You know what i don’t think I’ve bothered putting into my imaginary world? Candle Holders . Does anybody have candle holders in their imagination? Would you if you designed candle holders? I have one on my desk right now with a christmas tree on it (hey! Fia gave me this! honestly). And i might just get mad at it.

…..Because i am so pathetically bored i am going to growl at candle holders.

Sorry i am just so bored and aaaaaarh i have nothing interesting to post. I don’t even have any funny pictures (unless you are interested in pictures of Clint Eastwood which i have given amusing names to…). I think this comic (White Ninja—which is weird. I don’t really read it) basically sums up…something about me (well. anyone who has heard me question them about eating internal organs might know):

Where did he get all those beautiful spines?!

Where did he get all those beautiful spines?!

On the plus side: i am off to see Jurowski conduct tomorrow! Specifically he is conducted Mendelssohn’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream Suite, Piano Concerto No. 2 by Shostakovich and Mahler’s First Symphony. Which should be…nice? (I’m slightly scared by Mahler just because my dad uses Mahler’s fifth symphony to test out the quality of speakers and so he played it really loud….and Gustav Mahler is a sinister name…but i just looked him up on wiki and he doesn’t look sinister. He looks rather sweet. *hugs Mahler apologetically*)
Oh and as it is sunny i have been buying ice cream lollies (twister ice lollies: my favourite thing ever after…you know…tea and imaginary-deep-fried-stuff. The people in my head have tasted bufriedos. They enjoyed them. A lot).

…I am now  wondering  if Mahler liked ice cream. He probably didn’t. Then again i can’t really think of anyone famous who i can associate with ice cream…until i just looked it up and am looking at a page entitled “US Presidents and Ice Cream”. I love the internet. So so much. Wow- George Washington spent $200 dollars, at the time a small fortune, on ice cream during the summer of 1790. um…is anyone else imaginging George Washingston eating ice cream whilst singing “Summer of ‘69″…only it would be “Summer of 1790″….when George got his first real six string down at the five-and-dime and played it till his fingers bled…he and some guys from school formed a and and they tried real hard, but they didn’t get far…met the-future Martha Washington down at the drive-in…those were the best days of George Washington’s life.

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